life according to jag.

gone.

2006-07-06T22:10:00.000-05:00

well, folks, i've packed my bags and finally moved out the ghetto. it's been fun, Blogger, but from here out i'll be found at lifeaccordingtojag.com.

yeah, that's where i stay.

house warming party in the making. for sure.

the litter box is full.

2006-04-09T00:06:00.000-05:00

it's midnight on a Saturday night in the Music City, and this, my 200th post, comes with a bit of sadness. it will be the last.

but not really.

i'm taking the rest of the month off, and will reappear in May with a new home. yes, this makes me a liar considering my promise to post everyday in the month of April, but what can you do. i've been called worse. the thing is, i've been looking to redesign and move the blog for quite some time, and now that dream is coming to fruition.

i will leave with this. i'm not someone who generally remembers their dreams. it's not that i don't have dreams, it's just that i usually can't recall any details of the dreams beyond the first five minutes of the morning. this was not the case yesterday.

on very few occasions, i have very vivid and surreal dreams. so much so that i wake up the next morning feeling as though my dream was not a dream, but reality. these vivid dreams are never very elaborate, and always involve normal everyday activities. until now.

i woke up yesterday, got in the shower, and then stressed over who was going to keep my gorilla for the day. yes, that's right. i had a dream that i owned a pet gorilla. it was like a child, complete with diapers, and required a babysitter while i was at work.

i have no idea why this dream stuck with me the way it did. i got out of the shower, and i was literally sweating over the fact i had to leave for work in ten minutes, and there was no one to keep the gorilla. the dream didn't really wear off until i finally got some breakfast in me.

i've heard of people going to see doctors and such for dream interpretations, but what gives with a dream that sticks with you after waking up and seems so damn real? the only other time i had a dream affect me like this was back in high school. i spent the better part of three periods trying to figure out if i was indeed dating this girl in my grade, or if it was just a dream i had the night before. i went as far as to ask her what we were doing after school that afternoon, only to get a blank stare in return. the interesting part of it all was the fact that i didn't even like this girl, and was hit with a wave of relief after finding out it was all just in my head.

i'll be back in a few. i plan to use some of my downtime to catch up on old reruns of "Sanford and Son" on TV Land. i suggest you do the same.

it's for a good cause.

2006-04-06T21:43:00.000-05:00

i'm not one to ask for handouts, but today i found myself in need. James Taylor is playing the Mother Church of Country Music. but wait, it gets better. Sweet Baby James will be flying practically solo, accompanied only by his acoustic guitar and a keyboardist.

i need tickets. i need them in a bad way.

the musical catalog of James Taylor should be taught in grade school. as a matter of fact, it should be 3rd period. right after Social Studies. right before English Composition. as we are learning to conjugate verbs, we should be applying the lyrics of "Country Road" to our daily lives. that's the American way.

a few years ago, i took my Mom to see James Taylor at the Pyramid in Memphis. i've been to more shows than you can imagine, but that was by far my favorite of them all. it just doesn't get any better than singing "Fire and Rain" at the top of your lungs with your Mom.

applications to become my Sugar Mama, and purchase a pair of tickets to the show can be picked up at your local Hobby Lobby. please see the head cashier with any questions.

killing the buzz.

2006-04-04T22:15:00.000-05:00

for as long as i can remember, i've had the desire to move out to LA and pursue this acting dream of mine. never mind the fact that i'm just a country boy from Mississippi, who goes insane over thirty minute traffic jams which would be considered a dream on the left coast.

after working on "Hustle & Flow" and "Walk the Line" during the summer of 2004, i was closer than ever to burying my insecurties, about hopping on the next bus headed West. but, no matter how much i focused on my feelings for needing to be in LA, i just couldn't muster up the balls to follow through.

while watching an episode of True Life on MTV this past weekend, i realized, moreso than ever, that it's a good thing i never made that trip. the episode focused on reality tv stars, and their quest to ditch the reality tv baggage and become someone on their own. a majority of the episode followed Jonny Fairplay, and his quest to becoming the biggest jackass in the world. i'll admit i thought this guy was entertaining while on Survivor, but since the show, he has clearly morphed into the epitome of a tool, yet he still gets paid decent money just to be himself. he makes me sick, but i envy him in so many ways.

the portion of the show that really struck a chord with me was Daniel Liu, another Survivor alumni. Daniel does everything he can in an effort to secure auditions but yields little progress. when not trying to hunt down auditions, Daniel spends the rest of his time pretending to be his own agent, and calling casting agents in an attempt to secure a spot on some movie premiere guest list.

the part that hit me was how far this kid was having to go to whore himself out, yet he received no positive results. at one point he had his mom spread some lies and setup a fake press conference so he could make the Chinese media think he was the biggest Asian actor in Hollywood.

maybe its the red flag telling me that i don't have it in me to follow the trail of this acting dream, but i just couldn't do the things Daniel was having to do on a daily basis, just to make ends meet. i hear stories all the time of people like me packing it all up and trying their luck at LA, only to get chewed up and spit out a few months later. i'm not a wuss by any means, but at this point in my life, i'm either not strong enough, or don't want it bad enough to put myself through that agony. i'm more comfortable living in the South, and throwing everything i have at the few acting gigs that cross my path.

then again, maybe the dream is fading. a large part of the reason i moved to Nashville was to be closer to my agency, and do more work. in a few weeks time, the anniversary of my move will pass, and i can't honestly tell you the last time i thought about looking into any acting work. my agent hasn't heard from me in so long, we may need another formal introduction.

leave it to an MTV special to kill my buzz. the next round is on me.

where have all the smoking baseball players gone?

2006-04-03T16:17:00.000-05:00

somewhere along the way, i've lost touch with why i started this blog. gone are the random ramblings that are my life. replaced with what can only be described as a here-and-there recap of whatever pop culture crossed my radar. until now. just like the familiar ballad by one of our founding fathers, the times, they are a-changing.

i'm not saying that i'll shy away from discussing all things entertainment. making fun of famous (and notsofamous) is a big part of what we do here. it's just that you can get that anywhere. on the otherhand, Byrd's Eye View has never mentioned my appreciation of sloppy joes, and my daily adherence to living a life more like Douglas Howser.

anyway, expect a post every day for the month of April. yes, you read that right. every single damn day. hopefully in the end we will all be closer, but not at the expense of my personal humiliation and tears. that would not be inappropriate.

before all that, let me discuss my least favorite organized sport.

today is opening day for most teams in Major League Baseball. what's that i hear? crickets? did someone sneeze?

i, like most others, could care less about MLB these days. the sport of baseball just doesn't hold the luster it did when you were a kid. i blame the players.

gone are the days of Keith Hernandez smoking in the dugout (one of my favorite players of all time for obvious reasons) and Dale Murphy's 40 homerun a year hitting facial mole. today it's Barry Bonds and the internal race of his ego and arm size, and Mr. Loverman, Alex Rodriguez. no man should have it as good as Alex Rodriguez. no matter where he's at, he steps into pretty girl sex. if Shabba Ranks wrote a song about me, it would be called "Mr. No Really It's Cute, I Promise." that's all i'm saying.

how did the American public let it's favorite pasttime become so damn boring? i equate watching an entire baseball game with enduring an afternoon marathon of 'Deal or No Deal'. at first they are both mildly engaging, but after a few hours you're left with Howie Mandel, and let's face it, he creeps you out with this whole take me as a serious gameshow host thing.

back in the heyday of the sport, i followed the New York Mets. although it's never been confirmed, the major motion picture "Major League" had to have been molded after this team. Rick 'Wild Thing' Vaughn was nothing more than a white Dwight Gooden. ok, maybe not.

after the dismantling of Mets, i moved on to worship Bo Jackson and the mighty Kansas City Royals. ok, that might have been a stretch of the word mighty. Bo knows injuries. consequently, Bo knows how to kill a young man's interest in a sport. however my parents pocketbook are thankful. no interest in baseball means no more money spent on baseball cards. what's a Gregg Jeffries rookie going for these days?

Chicago style pizza.

2006-03-31T10:30:00.000-06:00

when i was a kid, every Friday meant a family trip to the Pizza Hut. like clockwork, my Dad would come home from work, we'd load up in the car, and drive across town to the Red Roof Inn of pizza establishments.

being a typical kid, i usually complained about those weekly trips, demanding some other fast food place instead. one that usually had the coolest toys in the kids meal that week. does anyone remember the California Raisins figurines from Hardees? i swear i have around 50 of those little purple dudes. at least 18 of them are holding a saxophone.

my memories of those weekly trips elicit one thing. the soulful sounds of Chicago.

i'm sure the jukebox had other records, but we never heard them. instead, Peter Cetera serenaded Mom, Pop and i every Friday, as we enjoyed our thin-crust supreme pizza.

was this some devised scheme between the band's record label and the suits at Pizza Hut? who knows. but it worked on me, and whoever else frequented the Pizza Hut of New Albany, MS, during the 1980s. now every time i hear "Will You Still Love Me?" i have immediate thoughts of a supreme pizza. no onions or black olives.

cause i can't go on. no, i can't go on. i can't go on. if i'm own my on.

final four letter words.

2006-03-27T12:11:00.000-06:00

so much for the bracket challenge. after this weekend's games, everyone has been officially declared ineligible for a prize. hell, i didn't even have a bracket, yet i still got an email telling me that i lost the challenge.

Memphis State never seemed to be in the game with UCLA. more importantly, what was up with the point guard's hair for UCLA? dude looked like he's planning to audition for the stage adaptation of Denzel Washington's role in He Got Game.

after living in Memphis for a few years, i became accustomed to hearing the daily drivel on sports talk radio about how Memphis State should be the kings of college basketball, yet they never seemed get over the hump. no matter what the accomplished this year, which was huge and should continue for the next few yarss, i got a good feeling those sports talk guys are giving the Tigers quite a tongue lashing today. go figure.

UCONN and Villanova choked, which raises questions to all the so-called "sports experts" who pegged each of them to fly through the tourney with ease. i look forward to a day where ESPN forces experts to eat crow on SportsCenter and spend as much time lamenting the "favorites" defeat as they do building them up as world beaters. Dick Vitale is at the top of that wishlist. the more i watch that guy, the closer i feel i am to a heart attack. i wonder how well he would do as a Negotiator.

the real meat and potatoes of the weekend for me came with the win by LSU. well not so much the win, but right after the win, when Glen 'Big Baby' Davis proceeded to set the people of LSU and Louisiana back a few years. that's what screaming "Get at me, motherfuckah... Salute me, Mane!" on national television will do for you. last time i checked, babies don't talk like that, or they got their mouths washed out. however, being that it is LSU, i'm sure their corn-dog smelling fans are still laying in an alley somewhere this afternoon, high on life and intoxicated with joy.

a part of me wants to seen an all SEC final, hoping Florida beats LSU. only problem with that scenario is the fact that the French kid for Florida scares the shit out of me. and he's French.

the other part of me wants to see the Cinderella story of George Mason have that fairy tale ending. this team barely made it into the tournament, and has proceeded to oust three teams that have a combined 8 National Championships (Michigan State, North Carolina, UCONN). if that isn't enough to win you over, then you must be mildly retarded. or a Duke fan.

yes. i can predict the future.

2006-03-23T20:37:00.000-06:00

while you all toil away at how pathetic your bracket looks after the first two rounds of the NCAA Tournament, let me take a moment to relish in a little personal victory. you might consider it a bit amateurish and ladylike to make but one pick in the field of sixty-four, and you're probably right. no matter, Duke is now going home.

hallelujah! all the sudden i feel the urge to dance.

the Bengal Tigers of (Geaux to Hell) LSU just sent Coach Kalkdfjdljdkljafkldjlsjdski and ladies of Duke back to the hills of Carolina. i normally would not stoop to the level of cheering on LSU, but tonight was an exception to the rule. but only for one night.

with no more hecklers in the near future, JJ Redick won't know what to do with himself. the letdown of not being called queer, fag, douchebag, butternut or loverboy on a nightly basis will likely bring on a hint of depression. then again, i'm sure he'll get over it by looking forward to his forthcoming All-star NBA career. you know, like Bobby Hurley. remember him? didn't think so.

now since we're in the second weekend of the Madness, i suppose i will be forced to choose a favorite, and cheer them to victories and net cutting. i'll be typical by taking the local approach and go with Memphis State, the Girlfriend's alma mater. we should know in a few hours whether or not Sunday will prove to be Armageddon... John 'the Devil' Calipari vs. The Moustache, the saviour of college basketball. looks like you better get right with the Lord while you still have the chance.

beale street music festival 2006: the beautiful letdown.

2006-03-21T12:18:00.000-06:00

like most folks from the region, i anxiously anticipate the yearly announcement of the Beale Street Music Festival lineup. yesterday afternoon it was released. i gave a quick glance at the artists, laughed, looked again, laughed again, then went to bed.

today, i awoke and returned to the Memphis in May website, hoping my previous encounter was only a dream. sadly, it was not.

to the organizers and staff of the Beale Street Music Festival i send a very sincere message... are you kidding me?!? you're the only show in town this year, what with the cancellations of RiverStages in Nashville, and Music Midtown in Atlanta. there are expectations to be met. i congratulate your efforts on undertaking this festival and pulling it off each and every year, but honestly, is this the best you got?

Cake headlines on Saturday night this year. ok, ok, you had a clever hit a few years back with the whole "Short Skirt/Long Jacket" song, but come on, headliners? on a Saturday night? at the biggest annual music fest in the South?

Seven Mary Three must have been busy.

Gin Blossoms? Blues Traveler? Puddle of Mudd? i'm sorry. let me check my calender. i was unaware this was the Spring of 1997.

on the other hand, i do commend you for bringing on the talents of Robert Randolph, George Clinton, Jerry Lee Lewis, Little Richard, Bo Diddley, James Brown, Johnny Winter, Booker T. and the MG's, Gov't Mule and Paul Thorn. there's just a slight problem. these guys play the fest every other year. there's no denying they are quality, it's just that i don't need to see James Brown attempt to break a hip every few years. that's all.

then again you did book the wonderful sounds of Huey Lewis and the News. although a few decades late, this does excite me. i can only assume you were doing it all for my baby.

march madness.

2006-03-16T12:21:00.000-06:00

the 2006 NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament begins today. i'm sad to say i have not completed a bracket this year. when you don't pay much attention during the entire season, one's ability to pick winners and losers tends to be a little dodgy at best. it get's to the point where the names of the mascots start to weigh in on the picks, and that's just wrong. no matter if it's an approach adopted by Rachael Ray.

my interest in this year's tournament surrounds the mystery behind Adam Morrison, and what has to be the greatest moustache in organized sports today. although it appears as though Mr. Morrison has carefully cut hair from his head and strategically glued it to his upper lip, this fine speciman is the real deal. many opponents have been have been slain this season by trying to guard and contain the moustache. Morrison is averaging nearly 29 points a game. the moustache alone is responsible for 18 of those points. rumor has it once the tournament ends in a few weeks, the moustache will hold a press conference to announce that it will be leaving school early, and entering the NBA draft. no word on Morrison's plans after April.

as for my picks for the tournament, they're pretty simple... anybody but the girls at Duke.

my week with the Strokes.

2006-03-13T21:47:00.000-06:00

my week with the Strokes is officially over. it was a good week. first a show at the legendary Ryman. then a show at my favorite venue in Dixie, the Tabernacle. i know i sound like a door-to-door vacuum cleaner salesman (do they still exist?) but i can't emphasize enough the importance of seeing a show at the Tabernacle. the artist(s) matter not.

when attending an event at the Tabernacle, one is forced to make one decision. a decision to which could mold two completely opposite outcomes on the evening. do you enter the floor, subjecting yourself to the masses of flesh, and occasional mosh pit (again, do they still exist? the answer is a very emphatic, yet equally sad, yes.) or do you climb the stairs to one of two balconies, in an effort to enjoy the show from your seat, and sometimes share the company of locals like Andre 3000 of Outkast. no shit, he was at a Strokes show at the Tabernacle back in 2003. no Ludacris or Dale Murphy sightings yet, but there's always the Queensryche show this summer.

the show was top notch, as usual. unlike the Kings of Leon recent tours, the Strokes appear to be changing up the setlist each night. note to any touring band - this is a very good thing. write that down. memorize it. no one wants to hear the same songs, in the exact same order each night of the tour.

i spent most of the show battling the thirtysomething bald man behind me, and the Chinese boy in front of me. the thirtysomething was a stump of muscle, a dude who went nuts from the first guitar cord, and found it his duty to try and beat the shit out of everyone around him. i never saw him again after the third song. (thank you, Jesus.) the Chinese boy in front of me had long hair. everyone on the floor is forced to stand close. it was all that i had to keep from getting large clumps of his hair in my mouth. woah the trials and tribulations of a good ol' Strokes gig.

in case you haven't been paying attention, Julian Casablancas has recently given up drinking altogether. i'd be lying if i said this change of habit hasn't created a different kind of performance from Mr. Casablancas, and the rest of the band. i'd also be lying if i said this was not a positive thing for the band. whereas in the past their shows were still leaps and bounds ahead of most of their counterparts, now it's even better. also, the light show isn't half bad either, not that that has anything to do with the music, but who is to argue with some badass lights? interpretation... you should have been there.

after the show, we hung around to share an exchange with the band, something that over the years i've become familiar with. rumor with the Strokes crew was that the Kings crew had been talking a little smack about the baseball challenge. or as Julian said, New York vs. Nashville. sound like round two might be coming round the bend.

i'm feeling a little deprived this week. when's the next big show, Nashville?

welcome to the neighborhood.

2006-03-08T14:42:00.000-06:00

found via Todd A.

The Strokes played the Ryman on Monday night. They had the next day off and were staying in Nashville. So they decided to invite their friends The Kings of Leon to play a game of baseball.

Really. The Strokes invited the Kings of Leon to play baseball. All I could compare this to was when Batman visited Scooby Doo. Somehow it rent the fabric of reality.

I heard about this from one of my friends in Slack. He called last night and I asked if the game actually took place and he said, “Oh yeh, I played in it.”

Right. So, members of Slack along with the Kings of Leon played three-fifths of The Strokes and some of their crew on the David Lipscomb baseball field last night. Nine innings. Every detail I got made me laugh. “Where did you get the equipment?” I asked.

“The Strokes tour with it,” my friend answered.

The Kings of Leon had “Leon” on their baseball caps.

Everyone played in their normal rock ‘n’ roll clothes. So the Strokes were running the bases in skin-tight jeans and Converse All Stars.

Slack and the Kings won.

interesting. first the Bachelorette lives in my apartment building. now two of my favorite bands are playing baseball a few blocks away. what next?

i'm smelling what you're throwing down.

2006-03-07T22:04:00.000-06:00

last night's show was amazing. i realized about midway through the first song that it had indeed been way too long since my last Strokes show. good thing that i only have to wait a mere 2 days for the next one. you guessed it... road trip to Atlanta tommorrow for a worship service at the Tabernacle.

seriously, i can't stress the importance enough of seeing a show at the Tabernacle. it doesn't matter if you don't even live in the same time zone as the Peach State. this place must be experienced by us all. every single one. besides, who are you to turn your back on a little worship service?

last night's show was a testament to my appreciation for our favorite band from New York. call it fate. call it bad luck. i call it the usual. the Ryman is a nice place, right? it's questionable. we battled quite possibly the worst B.O. stinch ever at last night's show. i'm talking horrible, folks. imagine if your buddy decided to lay a deuce in your front yard. imagine this lovely event taking place in the hot and humid summer. then imagine encountering your friend's surprise, and it pushing you to violent, projectile vomiting. are you with me? apparently one of those dudes who usually spend their time sleeping on the heating grates across the street from the Ryman decided to come inside to catch the Strokes. and as luck would have it, he decided to sit right beside us, slowly inching closer as the show progressed. i kid you not, i physically dry heaved three times, maybe four. all i could do was close my eyes, click my heals and repeat, "This is not a Panic show, this is not a Panic show!"

don't fault me for the quality, but enjoy a tune from last night's show...

Oscar loves Scotty J.

2006-03-05T23:09:00.000-06:00

you know, if Oscar couldn't have gone home with either Joaquin Pheonix or Terrance Howard, then he sure did choose a good companion. everyone knew that Scotty J. was long overdue. he's been bringing it since, oh i don't know, fall of 1976ish. interesting enough, the thank you list was rather short. i'm not one to make false accusations, but there must be a bit of bad blood between the winner and our boys Brock Landers and Chest Rockwell. i for one did not see that one coming, folks.

the show was long. the highlights are short. i'll admit, i only watched a small portion of the last hour or so. i missed some of the biggest awards of the night. i heard 'healthiest' female of the evening went to Jen Lindley from "Dawson's Creek", narrowly beating out latina heat, Salma Hayek.

lest i forget, the Swank brought it yet again. if Kenny Rogers ever decided to write another great country and western song, it would be titled "Ace in the Hole". only that it would be incorrectly perceived to be about a great hand of poker, when in actuality it would be written about every man's object of desire, the Swank.

by the way, did i call it or what? Three Six Mafia stormed Hollywood and no one knew what hit them. well, no one except for the fine citizens of Memphis, Tenn. the big question backstage had to be what DJ Paul and the boys were going to be wearing on the red carpet. it's good to see they kept it real and went with the Mike Schmidt spring collection. then again, they never really seemed like a Vera Wang kind of group.

the Lyle Morgan spring collection.

2006-03-01T22:42:00.000-06:00

this year's Lyle Morgan collection has a bit of a theme. our hero has decided to lace up the hiking boots, triple wrap the ankles and strap on the construction grade helmet, so we have decided to unleash a collection worthy of his journey. Lyle has gone all J. Peterman on us, and will soon tackle the Appalachain Trail. you heard it right, Georgia to Maine, in a body fit for eating very large cheeseburgers and listening to way too much Jimmy Buffet. for that, we salute our favorite son.

be sure to stock up on as much gear as possible before it's too late. might i suggest the sleeveless t-shirt, an article of clothing very near and dear to the heart of our subject. there have been many an intramural basketball court conquered by the legend while sporting a slightly skanky yet over-the-top intimidating sleeveless tee.

all proceeds will go towards the anticipated vast amount of medical supplies it will take for our hero to take on and defeat the Trail. the first month's sales are expected to go towards ankle tape alone.

click on the images to visit each store. we hope you have a pleasant shopping experience. shoplifters will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. or kicked in the balls. whichever we feel would be more appropriate.

bachelor party (minus Tom Hanks).

2006-02-27T19:13:00.000-06:00

let me preface this post by stating that today's topic should in no way relinquish my firm and equally unblemished grasp on heterosexuality, nor should it tarnish my image in the eyes of my viewing public. both of you.

now that we have that out of the way, let me proceed.

OMG, OMG, OMG... who will Travis pick in tonight's finale of 'The Bachelor'. will he chose Sarah, the hometown girl, or Moana, the California vixen??

honestly, i'll be glad when Wednesday arrives, and all this is behind us, and Brad Schmitt will finally have to find a new subject to whore out like no other. but in the meantime, don't be surprised if he makes a cameo in tonight's episode. we all know that he's just dying to get a rose. moreso than either of the lovely ladies.

anyway, as it is with all reality shows, everyone has a connection to one of the contestants, so here goes mine. it has recently come to my attention that Sarah and i share the same building in my apartment complex. i was completely unaware until my friend mentioned that my car made a cameo appearance a few weeks back as the Bachelor made a hometown visit. i always knew there was something special about them wheels, however, a spot on 'Knight Rider' or 'Walker, Texas Ranger' would have been a much more deserved role.

i can only share one story about Little Miss Nashville, and coincidentally enough it occurred today. as i pulled in from work, she was exiting her car carrying a large bouquet of roses. you know, the ones similar to what your parents send you when no one else remembered your existence on Valentine's Day. yeah, those kind of roses. i'm no oddsmaker, but the flowers aren't playing too well into Sarah's odds tonight, folks.

we can't all feel bad for Sarah if she doesn't win. at least she's not fighting for the affections of one MJ Garrett. then again, there's always next season of 'The Bachelor'.

UPDATE: she won. or in the words of my girlfriend, "he picked the dork, and this show sucks." would someone please get Brad About You a new pair of pants. thanks in advance.

breaking news...

2006-02-07T12:36:00.000-06:00

as of today, February 7, 2006, Vanity Fair magazine officially overtakes the dog as man's best friend. furthermore, all men around the world simultaneously brought to their knees in tears.

more on this breaking story at 11.

Steeling Super Bowl Xtra Large.

2006-02-05T21:53:00.000-06:00

big game. set. match. the blue collar boys beat the computer nerds. now everyone in Steel City can follow their field general and drink up. with or without the underage ladies.

why is it that there seems to be Steeler fans in every major city? it's not like they are America's team. i don't get it, but wherever you go, from sea to shining sea, there seems to be a swarm of annoying, football-or-die fans of the big, bad men in black and gold. could it have something to do with Unions? maybe so.

i'll be honest. this year i was anticipating the commercials more than i was the game. sorry to my fine readers in the great cities of Seattle and Pittsburgh (all none of them), but like Bocephus, your teams just don't get me ready for some football.

the commercials this year were less than memorable, except for the collaboration of Mr. Robert Palmer and the Others...

"might as well face it, you're addicted to Lost."

yes. yes, i am.

i'm not one to waste my hard earned dollar on watching Trishelle Cannatella whore out like a champ, but could someone let me know who won the Lingerie Bowl. i mean, besides the viewers, of course.

everything in its right place.

2006-02-01T23:29:00.000-06:00

the lineup for the annual hippie convention known as Bonnaroo was announced today, and after four years, it appears as though they finally have a few things figured out.

what was that? i think i heard something. oh, right, it was Coachella suffering a minor heart attack. life as the bastard red-headed stepchild of summer music festivals can take a toll on you. just ask the fine folks of the H.O.R.D.E. fest.

without further ado, feast your eyes on this year's menu...

Radiohead
Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers
Phil Lesh & Friends
Beck
Elvis Costello & the Imposters
Bonnie Raitt
Death Cab for Cutie
moe.
Bright Eyes
The Neville Brothers
Bela Fleck & the Flecktones
Buddy Guy
Damian Marley
Ben Folds
Robert Randolph & the Family Band
Dr. John
Matisyahu
G. Love & Special Sauce
My Morning Jacket
Ricky Skaggs & Kentucky Thunder
Steel Pulse
Mike Gordon and Ramble Dove
Cat Power
Medeski Martin & Wood
Nickel Creek
Gomez
Atmosphere
Steve Earle
Blues Traveler
Amadou & Mariam
Stephen Malkmus & the Jicks
Dresden Dolls
Son Volt
Clap Your Hands Say Yeah
Jerry Douglas
Soulive
Rusted Root
Devendra Banhart Band
Donavon Frankenreiter
Mike Doughty
Sasha
Grace Potter & the Nocturnals
The Magic Numbers
Bill Frisell
Seu Jorge
Bettye LaVette
Dungen
Shooter Jennings
Rebirth Brass Band
Robinella
Andrew Bird
Steel Train
Jackie Greene
Devotchka
The Wood Brothers
dios (malos)
Toubab Krewe
The Motet
Marah
I-Nine
Balkan Beat Box
The Cat Empire

i've steered clear of the 'Roo in its first four versions, but when you include the likes of Radiohead, Beck, Bright Eyes, Ben Folds, Robert Randolph, MMJ, Nickel Creek, Rusted Root, and add to that list the expected additions of KOL and the North Mississippi Allstars, well, the decision has all but been made for me. however... one problem. ticket prices. i understand and feel the regular tickets are reasonable at $169, but there is no way in hell i can digest the VIP tickets at $1058 a pair!

this is the part where the women and children should get up and walk away from the computer...

i can think of only two words to describe the VIP ticket price... fucking ridiculous. this is a concert event, folks. not a damn semester of college tuition. at that price, i would expect transportation to and from the event, as well as personal slaves while i'm there. shit, you'd better throw in a team of strippers to bathe me twice a day in the VIP showers. finally, i should be able to pick the set lists for each artist, as well as watch from the stage. no, not the side stage, i'm talking dead center, right beside the lead singer, and in front of the ugly bass player.

no matter the bullshit with the VIP business, i hope to make the journey down this summer. who has an RV they'll loan me? tickets go on sale next Saturday, Feb. 11. hippies, start your grilled cheese production line. you've got a lot of coin to bank and but a little time to bank it. also, stock up on disposable Bic razors. underarm hair is so Lollapalooza circa 1992.

it's hard out here for a best actor nominee.

2006-01-31T20:57:00.000-06:00

it's that time again. the nominees for the 78th Annual Academy Awards were announced this morning. (i'm starting to notice a trend in my blog topics.) now that the horses are out of the gate, let the speculations and adulations about the nominations begin.

this is the part of the year where everyone who is anyone becomes the greatest film critic they know. screw Roger Ebert and Gene Shalit, my name is Jeremiah and my favorite film of all time is "Teen Wolf Too". aside from all that, this year it's where folks get the chance to discuss gay cowboys, street pimps and a transexual, all in the same breath. i believe Mr. Armstrong said it best when he sang "What A Wonderful World," only that we can only hope he didn't have Jake Gyllenhaal and Heath Ledger in mind when he penned, "i see friends shaking hands, sayin’ how do you do, they’re really sayin’ i love you."

lost in all the nominations would be the recognition the city of Memphis deserves for solidifying it's mark on the Hollywood map this past year. "Walk the Line" walked away with five nods (although what a major letdown that it wasn't mentioned in the Best Picture category!), while "Hustle & Flow" pulled an unexpected yet unbelievable two nods, the biggest of which goes to Terrence Howard for Best Actor. with Terrance and Joaquin Pheonix pulling nods each, i can now file worked with two Academy Award nominated actors on the films in which they were nominated into the old useless personal information drawer of the filing cabinet that is my life. that should go right in front of consumed enough alcohol in the streets of New Orleans that i turned green, and right behind won a Geography Bee in the 2nd grade. i'm moving on up.

the other nomination for "Hustle & Flow" lands in the Best Song category for "It's Hard Out Here for a Pimp." yes, folks, that means that the lovely stage at the Kodak Theatre will be graced with a performance by Al Kapone and the boys from Triple Six Mafia. if that alone doesn't have you interested enough to tune in on March 5th, then, my friend, you are a damn fool. can't you just see it now...

Uma... Oprah.

Oprah... Uma.

Uma... Al Motherf'n Kapone!

i'm putting my bet down now that Mr. Kapone wears Vera Wang. if not Ms. Wang, then definitely Greg's Store for Men. with an air brushed tee from the Hickory Ridge Mall to remind everyone his name and tie it all together. finally, who can't wait to see the whole clan to pull up in a tricked out 1992 Buick LeSabre from Mark Goodfellow's It's All Good Auto Sales. South Third... welcome to Hollywood!

the Golden Globes. literally.

2006-01-17T22:40:00.000-06:00

please tell me you watched the Golden Globes last night. you know, the annual awards show recognizing the year's best in television and film. also known as the latest installment of the Scarlett Johannson Cleavage Tour of the World 2005-06. she's making the rounds, and so are the girls. the only question i'm left with after the show is how she didn't win a pair of awards for best supporting actor/actress. hmmm. i smell a recount.

Isaac Mizrahi was so inspired by the display that he felt compelled to give them a rub. sure, let a gay man grope you on national TV and you laugh, but then when a fan asks for a squeeze rather than an autograph, it's considered rude and obscene. whatever.

anyway, i was totally expecting them to present an award at some point. maybe introduce a clip or something, or a musical number. maybe next year.

"Walk the Line" took home the award for best musical/comedy, while Joaquin Pheonix and Reese Witherspoon won the best actor/actress awards. we can only hope this proves to be a little foreshadowing come Oscar time.

i had a wonderful, albeit short, experience working on "Walk the Line." i worked for the first two days of production, back in June 2004. while working, i was hired as a stand-in on a scene that was later cut during editing. everyone was very humble and gracious on set, including Joaq, James Mangold (the director) and Phedon Papamichael (the cinematographer). those three actually ate lunch in the catering tent with me and another guy on the first day. now, that may not seem like much, but on productions such as this, there is usually an army of Production Assistants whose sole purpose is to keep the 'talent' as far as possible from the lowly crew. especially the stand-ins and extras. however, there's not a lot a PA can do, when the talent are the ones who decide to join the crew. no matter how many headsets and walkie talkies that can muster up.

i also had the opportunity to rehearse a scene with Joaq. usually a stand-in only works with other stand-ins, but while we were getting everything set up for the scene, Joaq actually asked me if i would mind if he stepped in. who the hell am i to say no Mr. Academy Award Nominee, you need to step aside and sit this one out. anyway, it was cool, and he thanked me afterwards, not that i can sit here and justifiably feel like i actually did anything. nonetheless, it's a memory, and if you don't mind, i think i'll be holding onto it.

i could think of nothing better than for "Walk the Line" to sweep the Oscars. and in doing so, close the closet door on the gay cowboy movie. because let's face it, we're not ready for the Lone Ranger to kiss Tonto. and the last time i checked, Butch Cassidy wasn't really into the Sundance Kid.

Mr. White moves to Nashville.

2006-01-16T21:42:00.000-06:00

word surfaced late last week that Jack White and his new bride have decided to settle on down in Nashville. the lady is set to give birth in the spring, so what better place to make the nest then good ol' Middle Tennessee.

this news is interesting on many levels. most notably in that it was just last spring, before i ventured down I-40 from Memphis to Nashville, that Big Jack was seen all over Midtown Is Memphis. word even circulated that the guitar man was considering dropping anchor in the Bluff City for the long haul. one quote mentioned his observance that Memphis, Detroit (his hometown) and New Orleans were all so similar that after closing his eyes and re-opening he could never tell the difference between the three. of course all this news came from the Midtown Gang, not to be confused with the Get-Along Gang. while the Get-Along Gang is full of charm, compassion and overall acceptance of all God's creatures, the Midtown Gang is sometimes nice to your face, most times snarky and catty, and all times posting blogs about bands you've never heard of playing shows at places you've never been.

now that Big Jack is a new resident of the Music City, maybe there's a reschedule on the horizon for that postponed Ryman show from way back when. the one that was to be filmed and released on DVD, all for the world to see. the one where all those rumored guest stars were to accompany Big Jack and Baby Meg. guest stars like Beck, and Emmylou Harris, who would continue her goal of performing with every musical artist or group to have ever recorded a song in the world. the one that was unfortunately cancelled due to a driver who forgot his one task in this world, and in doing so caused a rather painful hand injury, and an even more painful to watch video of the surgerty performed to said hand injury. yeah, that show.

obviously we haven't forgot, fellas. it's not too late for a right this ship.

in completely separate, while at the same time similar news, a certain guitar player from a certain royal four-piece band based out of Nashville, has recently moved in next door to my girlfriend. and that's all i'm saying about that.

The Strokes play the Big Peach.

2006-01-12T00:30:00.000-06:00

today we interupt your normal internet trolling with an exclusive report from one of our dear friends in "The City Too Busy to Hate." the Strokes played an exclusive show earlier this week, presenting their new material to the few and lucky.

ATLANTA, Ga. - What can I say about the Strokes show in Atlanta? First of all, I never thought I'd get to see them play in a smaller crowd, much less for 12 bucks!!! The venue was the Loft... a club in which many of my friends from local bands play on a regular basis. Surreal sounds cliche, but that truly is the feeling I had when I looked on stage and saw Albert 20 feet away in a setting so familiar. But, let's get to the good stuff... I'm sure you'd rather hear about the show than my sentiments...

Since this was the promotional tour for First Impressions of Earth, it was no surprise that the opening song would be "Juicebox"... also their first single. I had anticipated that the set list would consist mostly of their new material, with a few older songs thrown in. Instead, it was a balanced mix of all three albums. Since many of the people at the show had won tickets (only 300 were released for sale and the remaining 300 were given away by radio station 99X), one would imagine that a large number of those in attendance would not know many of their songs, outside of maybe "Juicebox" and "Last Nite." While I am sure that my assumption was correct to a point, I was pleasantly surprised to find that many others were familiar with their new disc, even though the release was just less than a week before the show. "Red Light" and "You Only Live Once" are two of my favorites and there were plenty of others that shared in my excitement as they heard both songs for the first time in a live setting.

Overall, I think the guys were pleased with the response from the crowd as well. Julian addressed fans from the stage that he had seen singing along with songs off FIE. He even stopped for a bit after the show to sign and take pics. I actually didn't realize he'd be doing this and happened to walk outside right as he was making his exit. He graciously signed my ticket stub and took a quick pic with me. Apparently he is taking a break from drinking at the moment (which he seems to do from time to time). That being said, he was sober and his quiet demeanor made me realize how accurate his self description is in "Ask Me Anything."

the obligatory 'best of's' (2005 edition).

2006-01-08T16:02:00.000-06:00

with a new year, we have ourselves a new blog, of sorts. for me, it's a rededication to actually provide content. ever since moving to Nashville last spring, there has been this trend in not posting. or as my brother put it once, spending more time with the lady friend. nonetheless, after hearing my BS story about not having anything to write about, a friend recently advised it doesn't matter what you write all the time, so long as you write something. so with that approach, i plan to provide more insights into my perspective on things this year. that, and ditching the thirty pounds i've gained since moving to the country music capitol of the world, are my only resolutions. let's hope they last beyond January.

before all that, it's time for 2005's last hurrah... the best of lists that anyone whose anyone must make to share their opinion on all that is pop culture. you know, because there's never enough.

strike up the band, que the presenters, pull the curtains...

TEN
Franz Ferdinand
You Could Have It So Much Better
this could have easily been mistaken for a collection of b-sides from their self-titled debut album. more of the same, but when the same is this good, it's ok.

NINE
Oasis
Don't Believe the Truth
the Gallagher brothers bring it full circle, back to their mid-90s form, all the while reminding me of high school days past with the stereo set on repeat for "Champagne Supernova."

EIGHT
Fiona Apple
Extraordinary Machine
after fighting back and forth with Sony, then re-recording the album with a different producer (and not the brilliant Jon Brion), Miss Apple released one of her finest.

SEVEN
Queens of the Stone Age
Lullabies to Paralyze
with tracks like "In My Head" and "I Never Came," this disc was in heavy rotation in my car, in my house, and everywhere in between.

SIX
The White Stripes
Get Behind Me Satan
after working wonders with Miss Loretta Lynn last year, Jack White injects a little country into his own band with "As Ugly As I Seem" and "I'm Lonely (But I Ain't That Lonely Yet)."

FIVE
Ryan Adams & The Cardinals
Jacksonville City Nights
Ryan Adams released three albums in a year, when most artists struggle to release the same amount in a decade. you should have bought all three, but if you were strapped for cash (the only accepted excuse), this was the one to buy.

FOUR
Bright Eyes
I'm Wide Awake, It's Morning
this was the year i finally jumped on the Saddle Creek bandwagon, and this was the album that welcomed me aboard. please note that Emmylou Harris will eventually colloborate with all musicians. anyone. everyone. no excuses.

THREE
Black Rebel Motor Cycle Club
Howl
BRMC strips the music down to its acoustic barebones core and sings about Jesus. no, not Jesus and the Mary Chain. Jesus, Jesus, as in the son of God. what results is an immaculate conception for the ears.

TWO
Kings of Leon
Aha Shake Heartbreak
yes, this album was on last year's list, but technically it was not released in the US til this past February. hence another inclusion. besides, i'm a little biased. now, what's next?

ONE
My Morning Jacket
Z
how does one make a Jim James? one part Neil Young. one part Van Morrison. all parts Southern Rock. sit back and Enjoy. "Dondante" gets my vote for song of the year.

one section down. one section to go. moving right along to the moving pictures section of "best of" nonsense...

TEN
Wedding Crashers
New Line Cinema
i tend to stay away from the summer comedy that have everyone and their mother giving the thumbs up. then Vince Vaughn goes all "Swingers" again, and i follow like a sheep.

NINE
In Good Company
Universal Pictures
when you mix Scarlett Johansson and Topher Grace, you're bound to get positive results. i am a fan of both.

EIGHT
Star Wars - Episode III: Revenge of the Sith
20th Century Fox
go ahead, call me a nerd, but if you were born during the 70s, being a fan of "Star Wars" was instilled in your genetice makeup. the story if finally complete. all geeks may go back to stalking that hot cyborg chick from the "Star Trek" show.

SEVEN
King Kong
New Line Cinema
the remake answers the much debated question of what truly happened to Billy Elliot. twenty-five foot gorillas do not appreciate the dancing, Billy.

SIX
The 40-Year-Old Virgin
Universal Pictures
you know how i know you're gay? before this movie you didn't know the genius that is Judd Apatow. you know, the guy behind "Freaks and Geeks" and "Undeclared."

FIVE
Crash
Lions Gate Films
the more popular film by Paul Haggis of the year would be "Million Dollar Baby." the better film by Paul Haggis of the year would be "Crash." why? Don Cheadle and Terrence Howard and a Mexican guy whose name i don't know.

FOUR
Elizabethtown
Dreamworks Pictures
Cameron Crowe pays homage to his roots in the Bluegrass State. Jesse Baylor: 'I teach my kids about the things that really matter. I will teach them about Abraham Lincoln and Ronnie Van Zandt, because they are equally important in my house.'

THREE
Hustle & Flow
Paramount Pictures
there was this little independent picture, filmed in the city on the mighty Mississippi River, made by this up-and-coming young filmmaker, that employed yours truly for a summer. besides all that, it turned out to be one of the finest ensemble features of the year. hence the SAG nomination.

TWO
Walk the Line
Sony Pictures
the other film i worked on during the summer of 2004 turned out to be everything the legions of Cash fans had hoped for, and more. who knows. maybe this March i'll be able to put rehearsed with an Oscar winner on the ol' resume. Reese wasn't all that bad, either.

ONE
Cinderella Man
Universal Pictures
Russell Crowe deserves an Academy Award nod. Paul Giamatti deserves an Academy Award nod. Craig Bierko deserves an Academy Award nod. and Ron Howard... well, Opie deserves a nice big pat on the back for bringing us the remarkable story of James J. Braddock.

that's all, folks. before we go, i'd like to thank my sponsors... Folgers Coffee, the fine people at Crest Toothpaste and the letter Z.

roll the credits...

see i'm stuck in the city, when i belong in a field.

2005-12-07T21:14:00.000-06:00

i've been listening to the latest offering by the Strokes for the better part of a week now. it's titled First Impressions of Earth, and will hit record stores around the 3rd of January in our US of A. if you'd like to avoid the long lines, there's always the opportunity of a preorder (might i suggest vinyl). go out on a limb and see if you can be the first on your street to score this slice of ear candy.

yeah, you read that right. i said ear candy. don't judge.

the latest from your favorite band in the big city seems to be quite a departure from their first two albums. first, Julian's vocals are now front and center, as opposed to the past, when it was all garbled and woven into background like another instrument. no longer are the liner notes necessary to discipher each lyric. second, the overall tone of the album seems to be more relaxed and subdued. whereas in the past most tracks were full of energy, building toward an auditory climax, these tracks seem calmer in their approach, slowly engaging the listener for the duration. one could say these are the sound of the Strokes thru your grandfather's ears.

i'll be the first to admit that i share a rather large bias to any album released by the Strokes. i'll also be the first to admit this album may make even some of the strongest fans question their loyalty to the band. this one is going to take a few listens before one can fully and formally articulate a complete and accurate review. simply, it may take you a while to figure out if you like it or not. my first inclination was disappointment, but with a few highlights along the course of 14 songs. i took the disc out of my car, and laid it aside for a day. at that point, i realized my disappointment was inaccurate, and more precisely labeld as a feeling of "this is really different, and i'm not sure i'm in a position of wanting to hear really different from this band." now, five days later, i can't seem to get enough. chalk it up to another round of music, like God, works in mysterious ways sometimes.

ok, now you should have a feeling of what it is you are to do. grab your calender and or personal assistant of choice. flip a few pages ahead. make a note on January 3, 2006, that says... must visit my favorite record store and purchase the album that will make me the coolest motherfucker i know.

if the whole waiting game is not your thing, pay a visit to my myspace profile. there you'll enjoy listening to my current favorite track from the album.

in other news, i think i might be back. that's the feeling for now, anyways.

live from New York, it's Oh-My-Gawd-You-Can-Do-Better...

2005-10-10T22:56:00.000-05:00

this week will represent a week of recaps. recently there have been shenanigans occurring here and there, and to date, no reports of the goings on that accompany a good ol' shenanigan. alas, a change is gonna come.

before all that, i must preach a little from the Book of Pop Culture. now, like every other person in society under the age of thirty, i find myself a pretty huge fan of the Napoleon Dynamite. i've looked past the bastardizing of the film by Hot Topic and others. the film still stands as one of the best i've seen in years, and i refuse to demote that title, no matter how much the characters are pimped on everything from pencil erasers to thong underwear.

with my appreciation for the film, came a much higher appreciation for those in the film, most notably Jon Heder, an unknown at the time. while flipping channels last week, i ran across a commercial promoting Mr. Heder's hosting stint on SNL this past Saturday Eve. this lead to excitement in my household. much excitement.

Saturday Night Live has now come and gone. it left me a bit puzzled. as much as i appreciate and admire Mr. Heder's work as the Dynamite Kid, i'm left now with the feeling that he may be a one trick pony. his performance this weekend was less than great, actually even less than average. i watched with anticipation, wanting to laugh, but the laughter just wouldn't come out of me. i don't know. i could blame it on the writing and move on, keeping my appreciation for all things Heder intact. but i can't do that. i must lay some blame on him. i didn't even make it thru the entire episode.

i'm not gonna write the Kid off just yet. there'll be another day and another chance, but, man, you really let me down this time. one of my favorite new actors on one of my favorite TV shows of all time, and it turned out to be a dud. i feel like i just found out Hulk Hogan was gay or something. not that there's anything wrong with that, but if a man you grew up watching and emulating, often quoting phrases like, "Whatcha gonna do when the twenty-four inch pythons run wild on you," turned out to bat for the other team, you'd hang your head a little low. that's all i'm saying.

anyway, in other news, the little lady is feeling all better now, but the fat boy (yours truly and don't ask) is a bit less than stellar. i'm in dire need of a long dip in a hottub after spending the better part of two days ripping up carpet, removing baseboards and knocking out fireplaces. but it was all for the lady and her new digs, and in the end, i'll be alright.

hurry up and wait.

2005-10-05T11:11:00.000-05:00

my baby is sick.

everyone is gonna have to give me a minute. maybe more.

in my absence (which seems perpetual), be sure to play nice.

juice and cookies.

2005-09-23T12:09:00.000-05:00

i've got a lot of info to get out of my head, but not a lot of time lately to do it. yeah, so goes life.

in the meantime, enjoy a mighty fine treat from our favorite band from the city. the New York City.

i'm gone for the weekend. story time on Monday.

while i'm gone, go wish our friend a farewell (for the second time). i do and don't understand why he is hanging up the gloves. if anything, maybe this is the time i man up and post more in his absence. where there's a will, there's a way.

when you try your best and you do succeed.

2005-09-19T22:17:00.000-05:00

last night was the big show featuring the biggest band in the world (right now) playing the music city. Coldplay played Nashville. hold up, reverse that. Coldplay played Antioch. from the length of the lines, it's a safe estimation that everyone and their step-cousin attended this show. it took us over an hour and a half and many calming breathing techniques to travel the last two miles into the Starwood Amphitheatre. then we parked in a pasture, and walked another half mile. only in the South.

it's become cliche to be a fan of Chris Martin and his merry friends these days. no matter, the show was amazing. musically, they were right on key. from the first chords of "Square One," til the final keys of "Fix You." visually, the stage was a cascade of bright lights, stationed with the largest, most mesmerizing video screen known to man, which spanned the stage. throughout the night, it was obvious as much time and effort had been put into the presentation as had been placed on the music. that's a nice touch most touring bands seem to ignore these days. my favorite image of the night from our screen of screens... the pacing black bear during "Talk."

if you live in the Nashville or surrounding area, and failed to make the journey down I-24 last night, i'm sorry. for your pain, indulge thyself in the highlights...

the band scaling down to the middle of the stage to perform "Til Kingdom Come," described in all VH1 Storytellers glory to be a song written for a collaboration with Johnny Cash. one which never happened before the Man in Black's death. then, as a tribute, an inspiring cover of "Ring of Fire."
Mr. Martin spilling over into the crowd during the crescendo portion of "In My Place." Martin sprang from the stage to the sound booth like a madman escaping the papparazzi. in other words, the guy is swuft.
many giant yellow balloons released from the lawn during the band's first hit, "Yellow." when each balloon reached someone with either a pocket knife, long finger nails, or both, it burst into a plume of yellow confetti. how fitting.
Martin taking it down a scale for the closing number "Fix You." only an image of the singer and a swinging light bulb were visible. it was a simple approach that made brought on a huge, unexpected sense of being.
last, but not in the least, the addition of hey good lookin', whatcha got cookin', how's about cook something good for me to the end of "Clocks."

there's not much in this world i would say was worth all the hassle we had getting to the Starwood Amphitheatre on this night. Coldplay quickly dispelled all anxiety built up from the vehicular woes.

i'm not really into the hype machines that follow most up and coming bands nowadays, but the push behind Coldplay is for real. it's as legit as an MC Hammer track from the early 90's. and those, my friend, are some very strong words. never underestimate the power of Hammer Time.

i encourage you to catch these guys on their next go round. i'm just sad this was my next go round with the fellows. we missed out on a show a few years back at the Masquerade in Atlanta. this is usually the part of the story where i lament for days gone, and shows missed in smaller venues. but not today. last night more than made up for everything before.

...and everyone went home happily ever after. the end.

a tribe called Probst.

2005-09-15T21:35:00.000-05:00

my favorite reality show began it's 11th season this evening. no, i'm not talking about Donald Trump, his unexplainable hair that seems to have it's own identity, and the 16 schlubs he recruits to worship his every move for three months. i'd rather watch eye surgery for an hour than sit thru his pompous display of sheer bullshit. The Apprentice... i'm not a fan. not even when they pulled that goober from Memphis who had a thing for bow ties. sorry, Don, you're trying to hit me with the hometown appeal punch, and i seem to be immune. there's always My Kind of Town for that emotion. or Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, which i will admit almost makes me cry every time. i know, i know, get some balls, son. will do, Coach.

no sir. i'm talking about the greatest reality show of them all... Survivor. i mean, honestly, how can you not like this show. the Probst is like the most likeable television host ever. right above Chuck Woolery, but not yet at the level of Wink Martindale. kill them with charm, says the Wink, kill them with charm.

based on the first episode, this season seems like it will be one of the toughest. starting it all off with a 24 hour, 11 mile race is not what i consider baby steps. Bobby Jon and Stephenie, contestants from last Spring's season, were brought back. while Bobby Jon reminds me of some good ol' boys from back home, and i desperately want to like him for it, he needs to simmer down on the freak out routine. it's not very becoming. we get it. the conditions you are dumped into by being a contestant on this show are not the best the world has to offer. however, you don't have to go all screwy and act like one of the howler monkeys in the trees above. it's not smooth, dog.

i've said it before, and i'll say it again... i will be on Survivor at some point in the future. i've had quite a few good ideas come about as far as the audition tape is concerned, just never the get-up-and-go to get a good tape made when casting is announced. lame excuse, i know, but it's all i got. i'm a perfectionist. i won't do anything at all unless i can do it right. and last time i checked, green screens and pyro were not sold at the Wal-Mart.

when i do get on the show, i can't promise i'll be on for very long. why? my tell-it-like-it-is attitude. that's why. all it will take is one middle aged woman trying to be all cute and cheery one bright and early morning and that will be the end. i'm fairly certain when the camera crew finds out i punched Lurleen in the throat after she sang 'Oh! What A Beautiful Morning', i'll be sent home early. there will be no torch extinguishing. just me being escorted off the island, screaming the whole time, "BITCH BETTER RECOGNIZE!"

in the event that i could contain myself, i would definitely offer up the most entertaining confessional interviews Probst and the gang has ever seen. that's a given. when you stick me roughing it with a bunch of retards, a mute and an old man, i'm gonna give you an quite a few snide yet equally witty observations... or affirmations. whatever blows your hair back.

he's the one they call Dr. Feelgood.

2005-09-12T22:33:00.000-05:00

Saturday night we went back a few years. back to our youth, you could say. Motley Crue played the Starwood. now, before you go all accusing me of this and that, i must say that i did not spend my own funds to see the Crue. nope. the bill was footed by the suits at 105.9 The Rock. yes, you guessed it. i won another radio contest. so goes the streak.

the show was interesting. the people at the show were more interesting. it's safe to say there were folks out Saturday night that don't get out but once a year. the evening began walking across the gravel parking lot to the gates, walking next to a daper young lady in one sweet, tight set of white jeans. upon hearing the first verse of Guns N' Roses Sweet Child O' Mine pumping out of a nearby F150, she preached to everyone within earshot "now that is a DAMN song, son."

i'll admit it. i own Motley Crue's greatest hits. i'll also admit i own a Motley Crue t-shirt. call me nostalgic, but both remind me of the good ol' days of MTV. coming home after school, the Crue were a staple in the afternoon countdowns. fan or not, you knew their music. word for word. it was loud. it was dirty. it was simple. it was good.

my theory that Mick Mars would play the show with a walker was proved incorrect. however, my theory we would hear the F word over a thousand times was correct. i've used my share of the F word throughout my life, but i gotta give it to the Crue. they found ways to use the word like no other. at one point, Nikki Sixx used the word 6 times within a single sentence. then, Tommy Lee used it in a prayer. indeed, it was a night of firsts.

the next afternoon my girlfriend found no shame in expressing how moritified she had become from the show. if it wasn't the manlike strippers or the midget clowns, it was the claymation intermission video which included claymation nudity (another first). on top of all that, she had seen more boobs in one evening than she ever cared to see... both male an d female. she was valid in her arguments. i'm not one to badmouth seeing a pair of boobs, but when they are attached to a 300 lb woman, who feels it's her world purpose to show everyone her dirty pillows, i tend to lean towards the offended. that's just how it is.

anyway, in honor of the Crue show, i've pasted a write up of each of their first six albums. the write ups were posted by a gentleman on Amazon.com. i post them because the author appears to have on passion in this world, expressing his gratitude for the Crue, and he does it with such a flair that it made me feel like i was watching an episode of Behind the Music.

dim the lights. strike up the intro music...

One of the most popular eighties hard rock/heavy metal acts was, by far, Motley Crue. Vocalist Vince Neil, bassist Nikki Sixx, drummer Tommy Lee, and guitarist Mick Mars managed to create an awesome classic metal sound that was the perfect fusion between glam and thrash. Although the band is generally known for its late eighties album, Dr. Feelgood, they actually debuted early in the decade. The band's debut album, 1982's Too Fast For Love, tends to go unappreciated by most, including fans of the band.

Motley Crue came onto the eighties metal scene early in the decade, with their 1982 debut album Too Fast For Love. The album was an excellent one, but sadly, it was a commercial failure. Nikki Sixx, Tommy Lee, Vince Neil, and Mick Mars needed to follow up their commercial flop of a debut, and fast, if they wanted to get the audience they so desperately needed. And the following year, the heavy glam rockers released their second album, Shout At The Devil. How does the sophomore effort measure up?

Motley Crue came onto the heavy metal scene early in the eighties, with their own breed of metal that fused glam with straight-up hard rock. This style was one of the most unique in eighties metal - The group wasn't a poppy glam metal act like Poison, nor were they a thrash band like Metallica. Despite their unique sound, their first album, Too Fast For Love, didn't really bring them any popularity. Their second album, Shout At The Devil, faired slightly better but still didn't really get them a big enough audience. The group released their third album in 1985.

Motley Crue had finally gotten the audience they so desperately needed to jump start their career with their 1985 release, Theatre Of Pain. At long last, the glam-metal band had audiences in its grasp. Almost needless to say, audiences were eagerly awaiting the follow-up to Theatre. Nikki, Mick, Tommy, and Vince gave audiences that follow-up album two years later, in 1987.

Late in the eighties, Motley Crue had already proven themselves in the eighties metal community, releasing four albums and scoring a number of big hits. Mick Mars, Vince Neil, Nikki Sixx, and Tommy Lee were rising in popularity with every album they released, and the number of hits to their name only kept increasing. The band, obviously unaware of the grunge movement just around the corner that would ultimately kill eighties-style metal, went into the studio and cut their fifth album, Dr. Feelgood. The album, released at the end of the eighties metal years, has since become the group's most popular, and is constantly hailed as their best.

The nineties had come. Hair metal was dead. Nineties alternative/grunge rock now ruled the musical scene. And with Vince Neil having recently been fired from Motley Crue, it was clear that we weren't likely to ever hear anything from that ailing metal band again... or were we? Just as alternative rock was at its all-time peak over the musical masses, Motley Crue fans got a surprise. John Corabi had been recruited to fill Vince Neil's void. And in 1994, the group released its self-titled sixth album. Would the group recapture its former glory?

roll the credits. my oh my. i'm into a lot of things in this world, but i can't say i could ever descibe any of those things as eloquent as this young man has described one glam metal icon of the 1980s. someone get the execs at VH1 on the line like five minutes ago. this man has bills to pay, and VH1 has to pay this man.

happy birthday to the loveliest little girl in the city, the music city.

2005-08-24T18:16:00.000-05:00

my girlfriend turned the big TWO-FIVE today. she didn't hesitate to tell me it was her birthday at the exact moment she was born... 5:59AM. i'm not a morning person, therefore this early morning exchange was a bit traumatizing towards my day. also, i'm not one to remember what i do/say while in the midst of deep sleep. at the same time, i'm apparently mean as hell when first awoken. this little fact was reminded to me after my morning shower, along with the nasty words i had to share at 5:59AM. note to self... don't be a prick in your sleep.

we're going to Houston's to celebrate the occasion since the powers that be have decided to close down one of my favorite restaurants in the city. all because of a land lease. come on guys, let's keep it going for the prime rib at least. somebody's gotta feed their kids. get it together, fellas.

if my girlfriend had her way, we may very well be celebrating her life at Jersey Mike's. she's developed this uncontrollable urge to eat there whenever possible. i admit, out of all the chain sub shops, it is towards the top of the list, right next to Quizno's (thanks to my brother demanding me to go for many years). however, i have a problem with the service at Jersey Mike's. the worker's don't wear gloves. yes, they don't wear gloves while they make your sandwich. if you visit the Jersey Mike's we frequent, that means Gino, the senior at Hermitage High, who happens to be a huge Dead fan and plays the trombone in the school band, is running his fingers all over your meats and cheeses. hey, Gino, thanks for the hair in my coke and the link to download Panic's set from Bonnaroo this past summer. you're a peach, dude.

speaking of hair, whatever happened to restaurant worker's wearing the hair net? i mean, come on, a hair net is quite a piece of flare. i've often threatened to pull the whole i'm sorry i have no money tonight, looks like i'm gonna be working for my dinner routine, but i'm afraid we live in a day and age where when the day comes and i actually pull that gag, i will NOT be required to wear the hair net. i'm sorry, that blows.

anyway, wish my lady friend a happy birthday, whether you know her or not. she's worth it. she puts up with me everyday with little complaints. she also endures concerts wholeheartedly, whether she knows and/or likes the artist. but under no circumstances will she stoop so low as to seeing Le Tigre.

if only i were from the same mold as she.

the late, late shows.

2005-08-23T22:22:00.000-05:00

normally i would be all about the debate on Nashville's late night scene, or lack thereof, at Thursday Night Fever, but that is not the case this time around. since moving, we have really slowed down the pace. we being my stay-at-home girlfriend and i (she cooks, even). in the past, i've never been one to be much of a homebody, but since landing in the Music City, i've more than adopted that lifestyle. i just lack a general motivation to get out and be a part of any scene, no matter if they are the every-time-you-get-a-chance 80s prom dress wearing types, or the leather-chap hog-riding gaucho types.

a large part of this new philosophy on life has to do with money, of course. the funds don't flow as freely as they used to. not hardly. these days it's hard to rationalize dropping fifty bucks on a Tuesday just because it's a better drink deal than a Thursday. oh, and they happen to have trivia. wow... trivia. let me grab my dancing shoes right this second. better grab the thinking cap, as well.

i will break my stay at home trend every now and then for a good rock and roll show. then again, my taste in good rock and roll shows may have been tainted with the recent Le Tigre excursion. thank God we had not one, but two Kings of Leon shows to wash that taste out of my mouth. also, through sharing my story to friends about the Le Tigre show, i've come to learn that instead of the two girls and a guy i thought they were, it's actually a three girl setup. yeah. the one with the trash stache just has a hormone problem she chooses not to correct. i'd like to use a variation of the word dyke here, but man, that just doesn't seem to do this one justice.

i'll have you know that the time spent at home has indeed been spent wisely. my girlfriend and i have become quite the connoiseurs of that digital gem known as the DVD. the collection has grown, especially in the department of TV shows on DVD. whoever was the genius who dreamed that one up should have a statue in his/her honor. i salute anyone for giving me the ability to watch an episode from season four of the Dukes of Hazzard right before Sunday School, and then coming home to a two part cliffhanger from the second season of What's Happening! does it get any better. no, ma'am. i think not.

this month has had a fine crop of TV on DVD releases. i encourage you to travel to your nearest retail outlet for a brushup on the new material.
before i hear about how much better the British version of The Office was compared to the US, please save it. i will watch the British version in due time, but i'm sorry, the US version was f'n great. next, if you are not a fan of The Muppet Show from the 70s, then you can get the hell off my property. Undeclared was made by the same folks who brought you Freaks and Geeks. it was almost as good, too, and in this case, almost is damn good enough. finally, don't knock the Roseanne. i know the show is on Oh!, the Oxygen Network now, but in the day, it was the stuff. you know it. i know it. and yes, i'm embarrassed that i know about the Oxygen Network.

in other news, while helping me friend move furniture this evening, i damn near broke my leg. it's now a nice shade of red, blue, purple, yellow and in some places, green.

how great thou art.

2005-08-21T22:09:00.000-05:00

This summer's two day revival is officially over. the only thing left to do, ladies and gents, is count the love offering. attendance was more than expected, especially in the our headliner's hometown of Nashville, where word spread quickly of a sellout. who knows the final head count. the only thing that really matters is the praise shared by those in attendance. and on this Saturday Eve, there was much praise, and much to be praised about.

the Tabernacle just so happens to be my favorite venue in the North America. yeah, it's that good. imagine an old church in downtown Atlanta that has been converted into an unbelievable music venue. oh, there's still quite a bit of worship going on. just that of a different kind. unless the Kings are at the pulpit.

as seems the trend, my friends pulled some passes. only that this time, apparently the passes weren't really needed for much. word leaked of an after party in the Cotton Club, below the Tabernacle, after the show. the word also was one needed a pass to enter said party. well, the word is not always the truth, seeing as how anyone and everyone could enter the Cotton Club. however, it was quite amusing to see the young ladies waltz down the stairs, wearing their 'after show' sticker like a badge of honor, glaring at their 'competition' for that evening's prize... a word or two with a King, or maybe just a hello and a smile. whichever left weak in the knees and gushing. yep, pretty gay, in it's own little way. but, alas, it kept us entertained.

the Secret Machines set was amazing each night, as expected. we actually arrived at the Tabernacle after they began, and were welcomed with the rattling windows as they tore thru the beginning of their set. as with a larger tour, so comes more spectacle. and in the case of the Secret Machines, that means more light. much more light. during the closing number, i honest to God thought i had a seizure. it was that intense. but no swallowing of the tongue which means no doctor visit.

we caught the opening set by the Helio Sequence on Saturday night after missing it altogether on Thursday. for just two dudes, they make a lot of noise. i encourage you to check them out. and no, this is not a side project for Dave Matthews and Chris Martin. however, keep trade fair.

the last time i worshipped with the Kings was this spring, right after Aha Shake Heartbreak was released in the US. since that time, the boys have opened for U2, played Bonnaroo and sold out every venue across the UK. also, during that time, they have become a lot more comfortable with their material, especially that from ASH. they tore thru songs with the kind of fire and brimstone you expect from a pack of good ol' boys from the Bible Belt of the South. the guys are currently in their prime. i suggest you get off your ass and grab your hymnals. there's word of a college tour this fall. be on the lookout.

for the reading impaired, pictures from both evenings...

The Tabernacle

The Ryman

homeward bound.

2005-08-17T22:47:00.000-05:00

i went home last weekend. it was the first time in over three months. yeah. that long. i've yet to get used to the fact that my hometown is no longer an hour away. while in Memphis, going home could be done any time, any day. it was that easy. now, not so much.

i'm from a small town in North Mississippi. it's a nice town, perfect for growing up and raising a family, not so perfect for the twentysomething and unmarried crowd. i always envisioned my home town as the ideal Southern community with tons of personality and that all important Southern charm. not too big, not too small. the right size where everyone knows everyone, except for those not worth knowing (i.e. hitchikers and bums, not that there's anything wrong with that).

in the years since i departed, i've slowly accustomed myself to being nostalgic towards my home town. every time i visit, i make an effort to drive through the entire town, especially the main drag through down town and across the bridge. all 5 or so miles of it. there's not really anything to see. just the chance to solidify the fact that i'm back home. and it's good to be home.

as with life in general, my home town has slowly changed over the years. especially since i graduated high school, a mere nine years ago. yeah, nine years. doesn't seem like a long time, but oh how a town can turn in a few changing of the seasons.

now, i've never been one for change. subtle changes i can handle, but drastic, overhauling type changes tend to alienate me. while my home town has grown over the better part of the last decade, it has changed in many, many ways. businesses have come and gone. roads have been paved, repaved and paved again. houses have been built and new neigborhoods have sprouted around. maybe i'm showing signs of senility, but i'm not too fond of the changes. my feelings are that i want my home town to stay preserved just the way i left it. the people can evolve and alter things here and there, but the whole picture should remain the same. i know this is an extremely selfish view of things, and who am i to form an opinion since i up and left the place. no matter, my feelings remain.

anyone from a small town should be able to relate. if not, i feel sorry for you since you seemed to have missed out. maybe the local library can offer a good bedtime story to manufacture the feeling. but remember, all in all, it's not the same.

anyway, it's good to go home. i just wish the opportunity presented itself a little more often.

in other news, i'm going to church tommorrow night in Atlanta. it's a revival of sorts. there will be a love offering. wear your Sunday best.

'look at our hair, we look like women.'

2005-08-11T22:03:00.000-05:00

right now i'm sitting here listening to Kings of Leon live thanks to the Internets. thank you, Mr. Internets, for your wonderful ability to make someone feel a fly on the wall.

one week from this moment i'll be watching the Kings of Leon in my favorite venue. thank you, Mr. Tabernacle, for bringing the gospel of music, past and present, glorifying and secular.

i felt like live blogging the show tonight. then again, in a sense, it's safe to say this post could be interpreted as a live blog minus the time stamps. it's all about the time stamps, kids. for those of you who haven't been to class lately, live blogging is what all the cool nerds are into these days. moblogging is so fall semester of 2004. gah.

before the show, NPR aired an interview with Caleb and Jared Followill (quote of the night is tonight's title). in that very interview we learned that KOL turned down Franz Ferdinand and the Killers as support in the UK. funny how things turn out. on that note, one of my first KOL shows, back in 2003, Jet was the support. hmmmm.

we also learned tonight that the boys lived in Munford from 1986 to 1992. that had been a long standing debate between a few friends. for those across the globe, or those who don't give a damn, Munford is right outside of Memphis. otherwise known as Backwoods, America.

ok, this is the first time i've heard 'Rememo' live. give me a minute to soak the sin.

Thursday is fast becoming music night for your host. last week it was the 'electronic feminist punk' music of Le Tigre. honestly, i didn't expect to walk away from this one as a new fan, nor did i plan to leave the venue after two songs. yeah, it was getting time, and the getting was good. note to potential bands who may or may not request my presence at a future show - if you play a feminist anti-heterosexual male karaoke sing-a-long, i WILL walk the fuck out. promise. crossing the heart even.

i will give credit where credit is due. Le Tigre offered me the chance of seeing not one, not two, but three mohawked bull dykes in one evening. it's not everyday you get that kind of action. of course i didn't brave it up and converse with any one of these fine specimens. a boy gets to a point in his life in which wearing his just-been-forcefully-removed underwear as a necklace is no longer a good thing. like the Kenny always said, you gotta know when to hold 'em, kids.

again, i never really foresaw myself becoming a fan of the Tigre (translated for the English crowd), but i did expect to enjoy Nashville's very own Be Your Own Pet. according to anyone who is anyone in the Nashville scene, this is THE band. all the record execs wined, dined and smoozed them, leading to major label deal for a bunch of high school kids. yeah, high school kids.

first, the positive... i think the bad sounded good, and could only become better as they grow as musicians and play night in, night out. for their age, they already possess a ton of talent, that will only get better.

now, the bad... the lead singer has GOT to go. she's not bad. she's horrible. i'm just not sure where the decision came about where she chose to refrain from actually singing, or remotely singing, and decided to just talk and scream over every track. if there was a course taught by Karen O in how to lead a band, she took it. only that she fails in every way Karen O shines. i don't know, i just don't get it. maybe that's why i'm not wearing a jacket with the letters RC and A on the lapel. the whole time i kept thinking of My First Microphone by Fisher Price. you know you had one, but not for long. those things usually lasted about 10 minutes in a kid's hand before Mom or Dad literally threw them out the window. yeah, they were that annoying. and so is the lead singer for Be Your Own Pet.

on a positive note from the evening, Electrelane stole the show. they are like a female Pink Floyd, who like the members of the Floyd, are strictly into the female half of society. most of their tunes were instrumentals that meandered on for ten minutes or more. normally a bad thing, but not with Electrelane. i was left with one question... is the drummer a gentleman or a dame. we spent half an hour trying to figure that one out. no results. Brandon Teena or Teena Brandon. one may never know.

'Trani' feels the air, which means the KOL show is just about over. hope everyone had the pleasure tonight as i. now everyone needs to muster up the balls to make an appearance in Atlanta next week. there could be cake and charades. there could be.

KOL on NPR.

2005-08-11T12:18:00.000-05:00

tune into your local NPR outlet TONIGHT to hear the Secret Machines/Kings of Leon show as part of the All Songs Considered program. the show will stream live from the 9:30 Club in our nation's capitol, Washington, D.C. festivities begin approx 9:45 EST. Machines play for an hour. then the Kings take the reigns. don't be afraid to move around in your seat. no one will be watching you, but everyone will be there. dig.

all together now.

2005-08-03T20:36:00.000-05:00

for the better part of the last 3 days i've been watching Band of Brothers. if you haven't seen this miniseries, then oh-my-God, run out now. i'm a huge fan of Saving Private Ryan, and i honestly thought when it came to films about World War II, you couldn't get much better. i've been pleasantly surprised. the only thing that sucks is that it's taken me three damn years to view this gem. timeliness... never been my bag, baby.

Band of Brothers follows the men of the 506th Parachute Infantry Regiment, 101st Airborne Division of the US Army, better known as Easy Company. these guys were paratroopers, some of the first paratroopers ever used in combat, and were dropped behind enemy lines in Normandy on D-Day. the saga follows their trials and tribulations from landing on D-Day to fighting on the front lines at the Battle of the Bulge to finally infiltrating and capturing Hitler's Eagle's Nest at Berchtesgaden, high up in the Swiss Alps. many men were lost along the way. this is their story.

if you heed my advice, be prepared to shut off the outside world for a week, or month. Band of Brothers clocks in at 10 hours. but if you watch them in a marathon setting, similar to what i did, the whole series goes by in a flash. it also leaves you wanting 10 more hours, and then some. my words here do no justice. can i express that enough?

if all that is not enough, the series was produced by Steven Speilberg and Tom Hanks. those two have made a few decent films along the way, sans Joe Versus the Volcano. although, i have learned to appreciate that movie after all these years. don't ask why. i have an affinity towards Meg Ryan. let's blame it on that.

.....

i haven't participated in the party that is discovering new music lately. consequently, the tunes section of the page will now disappear for a short while. if you have any suggestions for listening pleasure, by all means, send them along.

i will leave you with a few tunes. by now, you've all gone to the local cineplex and viewed Hustle & Flow, right? right?? that's what i thought. here are Terrence Howard's cuts from the film. enjoy yo self.

Hustle and Flow (It Ain't Over)
Whoop That Trick
It's Hard Out Here for a Pimp

.....

yes, we are back in the high life again. well, at least for now. seems that i'm going to have to pick up some slack for the local tangent seeing as how one of the godfathers of local blogging is laying down his staff. however, i do not plan to go out every night in an attempt to rightfully report the ins and outs of late night Nashville. i made the mistake of going to Bar Nashville a few weeks back. i've yet to recover, even after receiving numerous care packages. what the hell was i thinking...

hustle & flow your ass to a theater this weekend.

2005-07-19T23:25:00.000-05:00

the movie opens this Friday. i hope you all get the chance to see it. honestly, at first i felt like no one i knew would be interested in seeing the film due to the rap theme. i mean, come on, we moved past that in like what... fall of 1991? pppssshh. don't let that deter you. the story really is top notch, and one that everyone can enjoy. grandmothers to baby's mamas. you all get a little something something. one review i read labeled this the black Rocky. the label seems to fit. it seems to fit well.

experiencing the premiere a few weeks ago was a treat. one we almost didn't get to share. the folks at Paramount advised my friend that we were not 'important' enough to be included on the guest list, therefore our attendance would not be necessary. woah. woah. whatever dude. don't tell me office gophers made the list, but all of the sudden my role has been shafted. not happening, man.

and it didn't. a phone call was placed to Craig, who then placed a less pleasant phone call to Paramount, which then placed yours truly and his merry friends on the all-too-important and elusive guest list. more steps than necessary, but it was worth it.

the theaters was packed, with all walks of life filling the seats. like i said, there was a little something for everyone. Terrence Howard came in and set next to me for the screening. i don't know. there was something surreal about watching a movie with the star sitting right next to you, exchanging gab here and there. i think a lot of Terrence because he befriended me on the set. sure, this film was his film, his coming out party. he could have easily put the asshole mask on and had his way, but he didn't. he took time to get to know most everyone on the set on a personal level. that says a lot. Terrence has paid his dues, some 18 years worth. i hope this film gets him what he's after. i'll never forget the last night on the set. i had just finished my last work on my last scene. i had been announced 'picture wrap' and was ready to go on my way. Terrence grabbed me by the back of my head, stared me in the eye and said, "Next time we do this, I expect you to be on my side of the camera, man."

here's to hoping i never let him down.

there were a few celebrities at the premiere, but most notably at the after party. we saw Chris Parnell while waiting in line to get in.

Steven Seagal walked up as we entered the gate, causing a ruckus throughout the Peabody Place. i was unaware Mr. Above the Law lived in Germantown. he looks a bit different, sort of resembling the late 70s Elvis, right before he died. actually, it was an uncanny resemblence.

hmmmm. a quick imdb search shows he's still making movies. who would have ever known.

most of the cast was there, sans Anthony Anderson. at the after party, we sat near Justin Timberlake and his posse o' folks. it looked like his entire family. the dude looked like he was hating the world. this lead me to think... this is Justin Timberlake. everything is perfect in his world. what in the hell would there be to hate? if i were justin timberlake, i can imagine having a bad day, thinking to myself, "this sucks and i hope things change soon." then i was slap punch myself in the face and realize i am Justin Timberlake. i pretty much have it fuck'n made.

that's just me. who knows what HE was thinking.

i didn't really find myself star struck except for one time. i've met a lot of celebrities, pseudo and not-so-pseudo, during my lifetime. however, from time to time i do find myself taken aback when around some famous folk. this happened again at the premiere when i saw Chris Thomas King. i know, i know. you are probably thinking who in the hell is Chris Thomas King. google him. he's an amazing blues musician. he also starred in O Brother, Where Art Thou? as the musician based on Robert Johnson. the dude is like a personified cool sheet of music. i wanted to talk to him, but my tongue felt fat in my mouth. maybe next time.

most of the cast has made theire late night rounds during the past week or so. Qualls freaked Jay Leno and Tom Arnold out, which seems like it would be near impossible. i don't know, telling a story about your retarded chihuahua with an enormous penis is straddling the fence. then again, if i had a dog like that, it may be the ONLY thing i ever talked about.

ok, so i'm done talking about the movie. go see it. go see it with friends. go see it with family and friends. just go see it. then tell me what you think. meanwhile, i'll be spending the next few weeks trying to land an role in the next one, Black Snake Moan.

we're off to Chicago for the weekend. i'm looking forward to exploring the ins and outs of the windy city. originally plans were to partake in Lollapalooza, but then the organizers decided to lay out the turd they call a lineup (how about some Panic, everybody? how about not). also, ticket prices went from $30 to over $100 without notice. please, don't disresepect my bank account like that, Perry Farrell. he will not be your friend.

A Day of Recognition for Craig Brewer (prologue).

2005-07-07T22:00:00.000-05:00

last night was the Hustle & Flow premiere in Memphis. while i have plenty of tales from the evening, they will have to be reserved for tommorrow eve. something about getting in bed after 3am and up for work makes me feel slightly halucinogenic (if that even is a word).

in case you didn't know, i've been here a year. what a difference a day makes. or in my case, what a difference a day doesn't make.

the plan is more of a presence again soon... like the olden days. pull up your rocker and stay awhile.

ones and zeros.

2005-06-14T23:00:00.000-05:00

don't mind me. i'm busy digitalizing my entire CD collection. yep. every last one of them. well, at least the ones that count. sorry, Wilson Phillips, there's always next year.

i figured this whole 'going digital' move would be the thing to do since i'm planning to finally take the plunge and buy a portable mp3 player soon. right now the thought is to go anti-iPod. the new Toshiba Gigabeat looks snazzy. the key question is how many yards will we have to mow to pull that kind of bank. better bring the weedeater, too.

but before i go, and lest you forget...

PERSONAL JOURNAL OF DOOGIE HOWSER, M.D.
DATE: October 24, 1989
Got arrested. Almost lost a patient. Doesn't take a lot of beer to cause a lot of trouble.

wow. everyone better put down the tallboy and ponder that one for a moment.

the real super tuesday.

2005-06-06T22:02:00.000-05:00

new music has arrived. i decided to post six tracks, seeing as how June happens to be the sixth month, and i was feeling oh so generous due to my recent lack of, well, being here.

tommorrow has been labeled as a day of rejoice for music enthusiasts. new albums from Coldplay, the White Stripes and Oasis, which according to most critics will be releasing their best effort in a decade. i always liked the Gallagher brothers, which was not an opinion shared by most. i wish them well with this release as they deserve it. Champagne Supernova was tattooed to the interior of my car during my formative high school years.

i had a ticket to see Coldplay peform at the Masquerade in Atlanta a few years back. for those that don't know, the Masquerade is a dump of a place, but provides a very intimate atmosphere for shows considering its small size. Coldplay cancelled that day. that was the bad part. the good part was that my friend and i decided to go see Charlie Mars (college favorite, all around good guy) play this dive bar. by sheer coincidence, we ran into my friend Amber, and met my friend Kendra, who happens to be the sister i never had. things happen for a reason. so today i thank Mr. Gwyneth Paltrow for providing me with the opportunity to bring one of my best friends into my life. and to think, the media portrays him as a pompous ass.

the White Stripes mixed their latest in Memphis before i moved. a few of our friends were able to meet, hang out, lush over and even karaoke with Mr. White. go here and here to read about mr. and miss adventures with Loretta Lynn's favorite boy.

as promised, i included a track from Lucero's latest offering. i'm pleading with you fine folks, please check the below dates and go see this band when they tour your area. instore dates included at no extra charge. damn what a bargain.

Lucero Summer 05 Tour (insert your town here)
06/07/05 New York, NY Bowery Ballroom
06/08/05 Philadelphia, PA North Star
06/08/05 Philadelphia, PA Tower Records (instore)
06/09/05 Cleveland, OH Odeon Concert Club
06/10/05 Chicago, IL House Of Blues
06/11/05 Detroit, MI Majestic Theatre
06/13/05 Baltimore, MD Ottobar
06/13/05 Baltimore, MD Record and Tape Traders (instore)
06/14/05 Richmond, VA Nanci Raygun
06/14/05 Richmond, VA Plan 9
06/15/05 Wilmington, NC Soapbox
06/16/05 Atlanta, GA The EARL
06/16/05 Atlanta, GA Criminal Records (instore)
06/17/05 Gainesville, FL Common Grounds
06/18/05 Orlando, FL The Social
06/18/05 Orlando, FL Park Ave (instore)
06/19/05 Tampa, FL The Orpheum
06/20/05 Tallahassee, FL Beta Bar
06/19/05 Tallahassee, FL Vinyl Fever (instore)
06/22/05 Baton Rouge, LA Chelsea's
06/23/05 Little Rock, AR Vino's
06/24/05 Little Rock, AR Vino's
06/25/05 Paris, AR North Logan County Fairgrounds
07/01/05 Springfield, MO Outland Ballroom
07/02/05 Kansas City, MO Uptown Theatre
07/07/05 Saint Louis, MO Creepy Crawl
07/09/05 Fort Collins, CO Aggie Theatre
07/10/05 Denver, CO Bluebird Theater
07/11/05 Colorado Springs, CO Navajo Hogan
07/13/05 Boise, ID Neurolux
07/15/05 Portland, OR Dante's
07/16/05 San Francisco, CA Bottom Of The Hill
07/20/05 West Hollywood, CA The Troubadour
07/21/05 San Diego, CA The Casbah
07/23/05 Tempe, AZ The Clubhouse
07/24/05 Tucson, AZ Plush
07/26/05 Lubbock, TX Jake's
07/28/05 Austin, TX Emo's
07/29/05 Houston, TX Mayy Jane's

out of everyone i know and don't know, it appears i was the least impressed with the lastest Beck album. i don't know. it's growing on me, but then again, i'm not giving it much of a chance. as much as i can try, it's hard to make the Odelay comparisons. i'm a big time Beck connoisseur, but my heart was more in tune with Sea Change and Mutations. this past weekend, NBC replayed the SNL performance, and it just wasn't there. Mr. Hansen seemed like he wasn't into what he was doing. anyway, i WILL say that the extra tracks on the deluxe edition did peak my interest. if anything else, they seem to sound like Sea Change b-sides as heard thru the ears of Odelay.

it is with great sadness that i must advise that my presence will not be felt at this year's Bonnaroo festival. to all my hippie friends, but more importantly, to all my hippie wannabee friends, please don't let this keep you from enjoying the music. i know this news will alter your plans, but it is with all my heart that i hope you may put it aside and dance with seizure like glee for hours on end to the musical ear candy that is Widespread Panic.

Widespread Panic... the only two words in the English language that can bring a frat boy to his knees in mere seconds. lift up your collars and tuck in only the front of your shirts. respect the Panic.

honestly i'd hate to endure the entire weekend of Bonnarroo, but i would love the opportunity to catch a few shows. the organizers should really consider single day tickets for peoples like me. people who don't wish to smell like a turd for two days, just to catch a set by Ray LaMontagne.

for those who are hiking to Manchester, i encourage you to catch the Word. part North Mississippi Allstars, part Medeski, Martin and Wood and a dash of Robert Randolph... all together, praising the lord and making your booty shake in the process. who said John the Baptist didn't like his lap steel guitar solos?

Kings of Leon have stopped sharing the stage with Bono and friends, and will return home this weekend for a set at the 'roo. it goes without saying, that's a must see. if you've never seen the Kings live (any that visit this page and answer no to that question should seriously reconsider their priorities) then you would know that often times Trani happens to be the set stealer. it's the one song that you dare not make a trip to the john to miss. i've provided you with last year's take in preparation for this years. time to remove the training wheels, folks.

been caught lyin (since nineteen seventy-eight)

2005-06-04T10:58:00.000-05:00

this will serve as somewhat of a 'recap of the last month of my life' post because i'm what some of your elders might refer to as a lazy and pathetic kind of guy. if it looks like spade, smells like a spade, tastes like a spade, walks like a spade, hangs out with other spades, only dates similar spades... then more than likely it's a spade.

we begin todays story with our nation's most recently celebrated holiday... Memorial Day. most Americans spend this day remembering our fallen heros, catching up with the family under the thick, hazy smoke of a grill, ripping thru waves at the lake on either on your best-friend-from-home-who-you-haven't-seen-in-forever Chet's boat and/or Seadoo Badass Hovercruiser 3000. i did not involve myself in any of that traditional debauchery. instead, my girlfriend and i layed by the pool, she reading the most recent Southern Living and Cosmopolitan, and me catching up on the latest Spin and Rolling Stone. seems relaxing, right? try again. if you have a pool at your home or apartment complex or local YMCA, i encourage you to take advantage of this summer treat as best you can, and as often as you can. however, i DO NOT recommend surrounding yourself by sorority girls. they, my friends, will bring you down. there's just something about Geniveve and Kaitlyn talking about there new boyfriends who are presidents of the local Republican Party chapter. who wouldn't want to hear about that for hours on end? i often wonder if these girls know how the world perceives them? i'm not a fighting person by any means, but you sit me beside a sorority girl and make me listen to her bullshit smalltalk for more than five minutes and i'm ready to re-enact the Apollo Creed v. Dolph Lundgren fight, circa Rocky IV (we'll call it Roe v. Spade). honestly, folks, graduating college and moving on to the 'real world' portion of my life, i safely assumed being in the presence of sorority girls was a thing of my past. but now, moving to Nashville in a nice apartment complex near downtown, i'm starting to get the feeling the ladies of Phi Gamma Whore have followed me.

looks like it may be time to finally get that gun license, Walker.

i hope your weekend was more memorable than mine, full of sugarplum fairies and baby back ribs.

-----

Lucero is/was my favorite band in Memphis. i like their music. i like the guys in the band playing the music. they've recently signed to a new label, and in doing so, have a new album out. this comes with the obigatory tour to promote said new album. it's all standard stuff, folks. get with the program.

Lucero played an in-store gig at Grimey's New & Preloved Music (quickly becoming my favorite music store in the music city) a week or so ago. i can't recall the last in-store performance i attended, maybe Eve6 in like 1999. regardless, it had been a while. that night, the boys played the Mercy Lounge with Mr. Cory Branan. we didn't make the show, but i encourage everyone to catch this tour when it swings thru your town. if not for the good music, be there to support good people. besides, that's how the world turns, right? thought so. i'll post a track from the new album in the next installment of mp3's posted on the blog for you to steal and me get arrested in the process. all in a day's work.

-----

i depend on my friend Wal-Mart way too much. he's always there. he has everything i don't have, but want and/or need. like most friends, my friend Wal-Mart has other friends that we will classify as unique, in their own way. when you hang out with Wal-Mart, you see these other friends, and often times, they do something strange and funny, something worth telling others about.

on my most recent visit with Wal-Mart, he had this other friend over too. we'll call her Mortified Young Girl, MYG for short. while checking out the other day, i glanced over to see MYG, in all her mortified glory. you see, she was apparently trying to purchase a large quantity of condoms at the DIY register, only that the register needed a little assistance. this assistance came in the form of a large black lady, with an even larger (and louder) mouth. i watched MYG become Even More Mortified Young Girl as the black lady explained to her that she needed to run a price check on the Lifestyle Smooth and Easys. the black lady not only explained this to EMMYG, but also to everyone in the next five checkout aisles. this display lead to EMMYG running off to the land of frozen foods. it sent everyone else home with a great story to tell at dinner time. thank you, dear friend Wal-Mart. thank you, indeed. i drive a Dodge Stratus.

-----

more and more news has been leaking for Hustle & Flow. this probably has something to do with the release drawing closer with each passing day. the official website is now more official. go over and have your fun, lots of interesting reads and downloads. MTV.com has a few clips, if the trailers don't quench your thirst. then if you really want your Memphis pride to show, go buy the poster. it's about time you replace that old poster of Cindy Crawford anyway

the Memphis premiere will be held at the Muvico Peabody Place 22 on July 6. take a few days off after your Independence Day festivities.

the word out about Craig Brewer's next film, Black Snake Moan, is that it may be moved to Atlanta or New Orleans for budget reasons. hopefully everything will fall it its right place. it'd be very sad to see this films taken away from Memphis or the Midsouth. damn those tax incentives in the Bayou and Peach State. Brewer is to Memphis what Robert Rodriguez and Richard Linklater are to Austin. how does the saying go... you can take the Midsouth out of the boy, but never the boy out of the Midsouth. something like that.

-----

the 2005 Beale Street Music Fest was held April 29 thru May 1. seems like a good time for a recap thru the eyes of a jaded attendee. here goes...

as with most BSMFs, the rain always decided to make an appearance. in an attempt to make an already interesting weekend a tad bit more interesting. that's my take on it. this year, the rain sparked a fashion trend... who could find the coolest rubbers, golashes, rainboots, waders, whatever you want to call them. at times it felt like a muddy catwalk, what with all the girls walking around competing for the crown of Miss All-Too-Cute-In-My-Rubber-Boots-At-BSMF. if only i could have been a judge. maybe next year.

the rain kept us from taking a nap with Jack Johnson on Friday night. we waded down for our tickets, checked out the crowds from atop the hill, and made a quick decision to take our show home for a quiet night of dry conversation. i hated to miss Trey Anastasio, but then again jam bands tour every summer, right? he'll swing thru again by September at the latest.

Saturday is sort of a haze for me. i do recall walking around. a lot. not really stopping to take much music in. i do profess to be a big fan of the North Mississippi Allstars. however i do NOT profess to be a big fan of the Allstars when they chose to bring Cody Burnside on stage for multiple songs. the guy is a walking seizure, at best. i understand he's a part of the Burnside family, and they are blues royalty. that's great, i respect that. i do not respect Mr. Burnside's talents as a rap artist. he repeats the same phrase over and over again, in an almost unrecognizable drawl, all the while ruining the song he's accompanying. he single handedly ruined Polaris for me. so much so that i purposely lost that CD. check the shoulder of I-40. somewhere in near Exit 142.

that night we watched the Killers. i couldn't stop thinking about the fact that i watched this band play a show at the New Daisy six months prior. a show that was far from sold out. yet, on this day, they were headliners at the biggest music event in the year for the city. excuse me while i take a few moments and try to make a little sense out of this...
...
...
...

i got nothing. not even a slight rationalization. i can appreciate the Killers music. i can even appreciate the band. hell, i like their debut album. but they aren't festival headliners in my mind. maybe state fair headliners, but not the BSMF.

we woke up Sunday, knowing in our hearts of hearts it would be a better day than Saturday. Mr. Ben Kweller turned our hopes into reality. Kweller started his set with a raucauous acoustic take on Ice, Ice Baby. now you're probably thinking what a joke. no sirree. it was awesome, and set the tone for an amazing set, totally making up for my tardiness back in September.

"with the rebel yell, she cried more, more, more"... and more and more and more and more. who knew there was an extended version of this classic. the Vital One turned a three minute 80s rock anthem into a thirty minute extended dance party remix on the riverfront. there were quite a few prime mullets in the crowd for this one. did you expect anything less? at last count, the ratio was three to one, femullet to regular mullet, however our numbers are by no means accurate.

the Vital One played one new song during his entire set. why can't other washed up musicians/bands attempting to make a comeback follow this same course of action. note to Motley Crue in the midst of their 'reunion' tour: we came to hear Dr. Feelgood and Home Sweet Home, not We Did Your Mom in '89. also, your rider requested a gross of Aquanet. i'm sorry, we're out.

when i heard the Black Crowes were getting back together for a few shows in NYC, i got excited. when i heard these shows went so well that the band decided to put together a tour, including a headlining spot at the BSMF, i had to change my pants. the Crowes are often dubbed the best live rock and roll band. i've seen them three times now, and i find no argument with that statement (altho during the Lions tour, the setlist was very lacking). the band looked like they were in the prime of their life, playing with the energy of a new band playing their very first show. Chris Robinson was all over the stage. a total opposite from his solo gigs with the New Earth Mud band, where often times he seemed to be sleeping thru the set. i hate that we had to leave early and head back to Nashville, but a few days later the entire set was posted on the band's official website. one of the best tunes of the night has been here for the last month. did you even notice? come on guys, you're supposed to appreciate technology.

there you have it, my short and sweet 2005 BSMF recap and review. the only question left is why it took me a damn month to get it up here. it's a good thing i will not be attending Bonnaroo. it'd take six months or more just to list the bands i saw. you're looking at a guy who desperately needs a job in journalism. oh so prompt. anyway, it's summer time and i'm looking to change my ways.

-----

i never made much mention of the music posted in May. i just mentioned a song from the Crowes' set at BSMF. also, there was a slice of pie from the Black Keys, your new favorite band from Akron, Ohio. i also posted the new single from the much anticipated (at least in my house) new Foo Fighters album. it's a two disc set, one disc of the rock and roll, another disc of the acoustic. Dave Grohl is calling it the definitive album of his career. for those with short term memory, Mr. Grohl previously played for a little band called Nirvana, who released an album, Nevermind. your mom, grandmother, aunt, uncle, cousin, friend from down the street and preacher all have that album. ask them if you can borrow it sometime. with a cup of sugar, of course.

finally, i posted a song for our mothers by Boyz II Men. break out the Kleenex, ladies and gents. a little inside info on the host of this here party... i was a HUGE Boyz II Men fan back in the day. i mean HUGE HUGE. yeah, stop laughing. my memory is never the best, but there's a good chance these guys were my very first concert. it's either them or the Cranberries at Mud Island back in the spring of 1995. also, Cooleyhighharmony, was one of my first ever CDs, received for Christmas 1992 along with Wilson Phillips Shadows & Light, MC Hammer Please Hammer Don't Hurt Em and the soundtrack to Wayne's World. oh my God. i think i need lay down and cry. i've come a long way, baby.

new music coming Monday. get it while the gettin's good.

-----

now that i've spent the better portion of my Saturday morning fulfilling my promise, i'm here to leave you with yet another promise. i really laid down and let the page fall to crap since i've moved. it's like i've gone into a vacuum. this behavior sucks, and i've spent a couple of days considering closing up shop entirely. i mean, what's the point in having a page that i never take the five minutes necessary to update? but instead of dropping the ball and going home, i've decided to rededicate myself to the page and post more often. maybe even everyday. stranger things have happened. with this reaffirmation with my internet nerd side, i've decided to change things up a bit, in conjunction with the year anniversary for when i started all this bullshit. expect things to looke quite a bit different soon. so much so that you'll probably think you typed in the wrong address. you'll wonder why there are naked images of Pygmies all around. you'll also wonder why your mother took your internet privilege away just for visiting my site. big things, i say, big things in store. i hope your still around for ride, whoever you may be. also, if you link here, please email me. i plan to update the links portion with the new design, and would like to include all who visit frequently, post occasionally, and lurk often.

til the next episode...

the beautiful letdown.

2005-05-25T22:16:00.000-05:00

longest f'n post of my life will be right here in the next three days.

promise. scout's honor. swear. stick a needle in my eye.

i realize at this point i'm about as trustworthy as a televangelist named Thurston.

it's like i've ruined Christmas dinner.

i showed up to the party with no gift.

you gave me a twenty, i gave you back three ones, eight quarters and a wooden nickel.

so on and so forth. yadda yadda yadda.

meanwhile, the city in which i lay my head each night, and the person to whom it lays beside...

dearly beloved...

2005-05-12T22:39:00.000-05:00

i promised a 2005 beale street music recap like, ohhh say, a week ago. this was before the death symptoms crept into my life. according to webMD.com, i'm either on the verge of death, or i have mild heartburn. time will tell.

basically i have these very sharp pains in my chest. so much so that at times it feels like someone is literally trying to end my life with a sword or large blade. if i laugh or sneeze or cough or anything else that shakes my upper body, it feels like i've been stabbed like your grandmother's pushpin. the one that she keeps in the sewing box. it looks like a tomato.

i don't really do the 'going to see the doctor' thing. i've always felt that if i go in for the flu or a cold, i'll come out diagnosed with some form of cancer, or herpes. that would be my luck. i can see it now...

me: "doctor, i've got an ache in my chest and a nagging cough."

mr. doctor guy: "son, i hate to break it to you, but you've got lupus... and parkinson's."

me: "wow, doctor, where's my sucker and/or balloon? i'd like to go home and begin the weeping."

if the visit went any different, then let's paint me surprised. regardless, my mom scheduled an appointment with a hometown doctor for Saturday. of course this is my only way for treatment, seeing as how i'm the guy who just changed jobs, moved to a new city, and won't have health insurance for almost three months. this is the best position to ever be in, and totally my luck that i'd get an illness AS SOON AS i move. keep an eye on the local paper, kids. i'd hate for you to miss the wake.

if i were still a kid, this would all be simpler. i'd go to my grandmother's house. she'd rub Vick's VapoRub on my chest before i went to bed, then boom! i'd wake up a new man. one without disease and pain. i've never claimed to be a genius or anything, but i swear that stuff will cure anything.

i'm off to the homeland, also known as the hills of North Mississippi, for the weekend to be in a wedding. looking forward to seeing a ton of good friends. who knows, maybe laughter can cure what ails me. it couldn't hurt.

that beale street recap will happen when i get back. this is where i would promise, only that i don't do such a thing. promises tend to lead to broken promises, which lead to tears, which lead to disappointment, which ultimately lead to me having three friends in the end. so, my solution is to steer clear of that seven letter word.

in the meantime, a new Kings of Leon tour was announced this week. looks like prayers have been answered and they will be heading out with the Secret Machines. i'd say this is definitely not a tour to miss. then again, i'd say that about any KoL or Secret Machines tour. for the record i'll be making an appearance for the shows at my favorite venue in the country, and a venue i've been told i should frequent. giddy up.

hustle & flow: the trailer.

2005-05-06T11:36:00.000-05:00

the official website for 'Hustle & Flow' went live this week. meander over for the trailer and to register for news and/or soirees, among other things. all looks well from where i'm sitting. it's still very surreal seeing/reading/hearing anything about this movie, which will i'm sure climax with actually seeing the film. i've already missed my first chance at doing just that. a week before i moved to Nashville, 'Hustle' was shown at the Nashville Film Festival. the festival was held literally right across the street from my apartment. walking distance. crawling distance. this info would have been very useful had it not have been delivered to me after the fact. blah.

tommorrow. tommorrow. my Beale Street Music Fest recap. tommorrow. you're only an f'n day away.

tonight on the WB...

2005-04-28T22:45:00.000-05:00

sorry for the lack of updates. i moved to Nashville. i've been busy with all that. moving is stressful. stress is bad. stress keeps me from thinking straight. so do many other things, but i digress. i'm one of those types that tries to settle as soon as possible after the big move. it's like i want everything in it's right place and ready to go hours after unloading the boxes. this is very unfeasible. i tend to learn things the hard way. or what i like to call it... the only way.

things have been good in Nashville thus far. not that i've actually gotten out and done much. i'm not really feeling the new job. it's the same industry i've been in for the last few years, just different company. apparently somewhere in all the hiring process these folks got the impression i was more qualified than i actually am. normally that would be a good thing, but when they want to throw more work on you because of that keen misevaluation, it's a definite bad. i've learned that i truly hate the field in which i work. the only aspect of the job that i remotely like is the fact that i help people in an otherwise difficult and stressful point in their life. the problem is that the people i deal with could care less if someone helped them. they fall into the category of give them an inch, they'd rather have the mile. sucks, but occasionally there will be a person who appreciates your efforts, thus making it all worth it. that being said, i still need a career change.

now, change is what i'm gonna get... i caught wind this week that i will be working in the music industry soon. i know, i know... so cliche. move to Nashville, get a job in the music business. i might as well move to Van Nuys and change my name to Brock Landers, right? same situation. everyone in this city is working in the music biz. either full time, or like most, 'on the side'. whatever that means. anyway, a friend who has his own record label needs some help, and i'm gonna be that help. the job will actually allow me to somewhat use my degree, something i've wanted to do since, um... graduation day. up until now i feel like i wasted some of the best five and a half years of my life for a piece a paper that's about as valuable as a napkin from the Dairy Queen. for the time being the music job will be part time. a large part of my nightly prayers for the next few months will be that it goes full time. wish me luck, and God speed.

we meant to make it to a few shows after the move, but alas we made it to just one. but it was a very good one indeed. if you've never heard, or heard of, the Black Keys, then you need to recognize. what? i don't know, but you need to recogize something. these two guys from Akron, Ohio, make more noise than most full on rock bands. they sound like a puree blend between the White Stripes, North Mississippi Allstars and Otis Redding. that may be hard to fully comprehend, but at least make an attempt, and if you are one of the ones who has actually heard them, you'll totally see what i'm getting at. it was amazing to experience them in such an intimate setting at the Mercy Lounge. i highly recommend this venue. you know those times on Conan where he meshes together the celebrities in an attempt to visualize their offspring? keeping that in mind, the drummer for the Black Keys is the definite love child between Howard Stern and Joey Ramone. not that either are gay or anything, i'm just saying. go buy their latest disc, Rubber Factory, now. i'll more than likely post a track during the next musical go'round (which comes next week for those who lack patience).

i'm off to Memphis for the weekend to enjoy the Beale Street Music Festival. yeah, i know i just moved from the Bluff City, and it's strange that i'm going back so soon. i go where the music takes me, ok, nothing more. full on recaps will follow next week. pictures, even. if you can't wait, check out this blog from a few friendly faces to keep you on the up and up. maybe next year they'll invite me as a junior contributor. then and only then will i get the chance to sit backstage and ask Billy Idol how one truly rocks the cradle of love without going too far. people need to know. yes they do.

end of work days.

2005-04-14T13:22:00.000-05:00

so long... farewell!
hey, what am i, chopped liver?
i need... to sleep...
in a van... down by the... river...

today is my last day at work. i've been here a little over two and a half years. it was my first job out of college. i've learned a lot. some useless information... some life lessons... but most of all i feel like i've actually grown up during these last few years. well, as much as i EVER will grow up, which may not be saying much. while i will not miss the work and stress from this job, i will miss my co-workers immensely. you spend a majority of your life at work (no mathematician here but i'm thinking somewhere along the lines of 85%) and i don't know about you, but i'm not one to spend a majority of my time with folks i don't like. if it weren't for them, i'd have no reason to show up everyday. i've never been too hard up for change, but i realize in order to reach certain goals it's time to move on. no matter, i'm gonna miss these people. a lot.

all week we've been packing. Saturday we move. Sunday we relax. Monday... we dance.

before all that, our next installment...

PERSONAL JOURNAL OF DOOGIE HOWSER
DATE: October 17/18, 1989... Went to see Batman. Parked at Mission Point. Removed Wanda's appendix. Broke Up. Got back together. What can I say? Just your average weekend.

one said the water was cold, while the other one said it was deep.

2005-04-06T20:21:00.000-05:00

just so you know, looking for a cool/unique/female-friendly/snazzy/some-kind-of-good/cultured apartment in Nashville has not been the fun and easy task that was orginally expected. but alas, i appear to have a new place to lay my head at night, and i got this new place by the best possible scenario ever... by default. any other way would have been wrong... right?

the list of potentials was narrowed down to two places... one older place in a building constructed in the 1930s that was oozing with character (and old building smell, as i've been advised), and a newer, more practical and typical place, with all the regular amenities found in a modern, well-kept apartment. i wanted the old one (or so i thought), considering it was two miles from work, two miles from downtown, and three miles from one of my best friends. everything was set up for me to make my decision Friday, then i got the call. yes, THAT call. the leasing agent (who we will now refer to as the skank) called me back this afternoon, advising that she has gone ahead and leased the old apartment. you know, doing what a good little girl would.

wow. thanks so much, miss skank. to think, we were becoming such good friends.

the problem lies in that the lady promised me the apartment was reserved in my name until Friday, and that no one else would be allowed to steal it from under my nose. i mean a promise is a promise, y'know. whatever. apparently i didn't want to live there anyway. at least that's what my conscience is telling me. he's knows what i like. sometimes.

so by default, i will be living in the newer place, which was probably the better choice to begin with. the pool is practically in my backyard, meaning this will be as close to having my own personal pool as i'll ever be. i'll still be just a few miles from downtown (can you say $5 cab ride?), and a mile or so from my friend. also, it puts me a mighty 0.6 miles from my new place of employment. whew. such a haul. morning traffic in Memphis... can't say i'll miss you very much. my friends have recommended i start biking to work, but the probability of being mistaken for one of those Mormon dudes on a mission will definitely keep me from doing any of that. besides, if anyone were ever to be hit by a car while riding a bike, i'd obviously be that guy. tis my luck. most of the time.

as if my reason to move had a need to be validated, check out the list of artists performing in the Music City the week or two after my move...

the Black Keys.
Ben Lee (with Har Mar Superstar).
Iron & Wine.
the Shins.

thank you, Memphis, for the occasional memorable musical performances you've sporadically provided over the course of the last three years, but i do believe Nashville shall be a little more generous in that department. i mean, i may be totally wrong, my little Bluff City buddy, but if these first few weeks are any indication, then, by all means, you've been had. and being had is never the best of times. just ask Little Rock. or Shreveport.

besides all that, Memphis could never provide me the opportunity to discuss the deep and spiritual meaning behind the love ballad 'Unskinny Bop' with it's scribe, one Bret Michaels. you had me at 'like gasoline you wanna pump me.' no really, you did.

moving right along, the Fun and Fabulous JAG Birthday Celebration at Lollapalooza 2005 is slowly and surely coming into the light. now if we could only secure a few ponies for pony rides, it will be near perfection. but seriously, folks, if you want to go to Chicago, see tons of good bands (that are still TBA, but have the faith, man) and celebrate the 27th year since the birth of yours truly, then jump on the bandwagon. party favors will be handed out after the encore. all kids to be home by eleven.

i'll try to keep posting as regular as possible over the next two weeks during the big move, but don't fault me if i'm here and there, but mostly there. i'll make it up later with cake and candy cigarettes. in the meantime, give this lovely phone call a listen. if you don't find yourself laughing to the point of tears, then you really have no business being here. ummmhmmmm.

deliverance.

2005-04-01T12:44:00.000-06:00

enough of your bitching, the music has been updated. learn to simmer. we have a schedule here, and it's strict. something old. something new. something slow. something... um, i'm drawing a blank... what to say, what to say... something for YOU to buy. get on it.

growing up, i was not a fan of the Skynyrd. however that was a very ignorant and jaded opinion, considering i never took the time to fully appreciate their catalog past the popular "Sweet Home Alabama." oh, but when i did, i discovered the treasure chest of true Southern rock. i've been changed ever since. no, i didn't grow a mullet (although i did try once), not even a rat tail, the bastard step child of the mullet. i don't know, listening to Skynyrd makes me appreciate being from the South more than i did. it's hard to explain. before, there was no appreciation, afterward, the world around me changed. well, at least it sounded different. the song posted is lesser known, and that's just a 'by God' shame.

i like Hot Hot Heat. i don't know a lot about them, but i feel like they are good people. i liked them when they released the single, "Bandages," a few seasons ago. it possessed me to go out and purchase their debut album. it is with remorse i must say i did not like their debut album. recently, i've caught wind of their new single "Goodnight Goodnight." i'm willing to give Hot Hot Heat a second chance. please, please, Mr. and Mrs. Heat, do not let me down again.

people have talked to me about Damien Rice quite often over the last few years. they've also discussed Sondre Lerche, but that's another day, another time. Rice may or may not be Ireland's best version of Jeff Buckley. this is a good thing. a very good thing.

we've gone over my adulation for the Secret Machines. they amazed me last year with their set at the Hi-Tone. the boys came in, and with no fanfare, sat down and proceeded through a mesmerizing, invigorating, all-to-short forty-five minute set that would best be described as an experience, rather than a show. then, the three got up and left the room. the lights were raised, with everyone looking at each other as though they had just seen a ghost, or some type spirit. it was surreal. i was mildly frightened.

that show has stuck with me for over six months. you should have been there. damn you.

Lollapalooza has been resurrected as a two day event this summer in July in the Windy City. it just so happens to fall on a certain someone's birthday. that certain someone just so happens to have been planning a trip to Chicago for quite some time now. and a certain band that goes by the initials KOL may very well be playing this just announced incarnation of Lollapalooza, along with our good friend, Mr. Beck Hansen. giddy up.

i accepted a job in Nashville this morning. i move in two weeks. right now, somewhere in heaven, Weezie is proud of her boy.

have a good weekend. schedule some time for the Doog...

PERSONAL JOURNAL OF DOOGIE HOWSER
DATE: October 7, 1989
Today I made my first really adult decision. I decided to stay a kid a little while longer.

flirting with disaster.

2005-03-30T23:36:00.000-06:00

whatcha gonna do when JAGAMANIA and his four inch pythons run wild on you, brother??

sorry. i had to do it. it's not every day a guy crafts a mighty fine handlebar moustache. such occasions must be documented for posterity.

i could so take Glenn Danzig right now. no, really i could.

the Doog saved my life.

2005-03-29T21:03:00.000-06:00

i've really meant to update this page more often, but lately i just can't seem to get around to it. there are between 10 and 15 posts floating around my head. here's to hoping they end up on the page, before my mind flushes them forever, which often happens. while on this topic, i will pass along this little bit of info... when my page goes thru it's previously mentioned long overdue redesign, i promise to post everyday. no matter if i have something to say or not. at that point the page will actually have somewhat of a A-1 design, and who am i to neglect a good-looking website? that would be blasphemy, and mama's boys don't blaspheme. at least this one doesn't.

last week my DVD player received an early birthday present... season one of Doogie Howser, M.D. make fun of me and my DVD player all you want, but this show is the stuff. i remember being a kid and watching Doogie every Wednesday night, after church. i'll admit that most episodes dealt with subjects way over my head, but no matter, i was an avid viewer. that is until Vinnie got too sexual and Pops made me turn the channel. that didn't happen too much, probably because each episode had an underlying moral or story that my parents wanted to sink into my teenage brain. then again, since when did my Pops look into anything that much, especially television shows. my dad was the man who watched Hunter every Saturday night. thinking deeply into a television show was not an option.

anyway, Doogie Howser was one of my favorite shows growing up, and now we can all enjoy it any time we want. please note that i said we, and yes, that does mean you. now if someone would get on the ball and release Perfect Strangers on DVD, i'd be set for life. don't lie. you know you loved that show just as much as me, regardless of whether you mention that to others or not. how could you not like Balki Bartokomous? and Cousin Larry? i remember thinking he was the most stressed out dude in the world. then i grew up and realized that being that stressed is reality, only that he handled it better than most. then again, he had that hot blonde girlfriend. hot blonde girlfriends tend to make people forget stress. among other things.

anyway, as i make my way thru season one of the Doog, i'll share one of the most important parts of the show with my loyal readers. what am i talking about? the journal entries, of course. a part of who i am today was developed through Doogie's weekly commentaries on teenage life. now it's time to relive those moments together. consider this my way of making you a more rounded individual. yeah. also meet me at my locker after 4th period. here goes...

PERSONAL JOURNAL OF DOOGIE HOWSER
DATE: September 22, 1989
Kissed my first girl. Lost my first patient. Life will never be the same again...

wow. i feel better now, how about you? on a different note, our friend Tom Green has a blog. you should be reading it right now. it's better than this garbage. on top of that, it has moving pictures, also known as video. how fancy.

the picture show.

2005-03-24T22:45:00.000-06:00

better late than never, enjoy pictures from this past weekends shows, as well as one from the St. Louis excursion. enjoy and go here for more. a whole lot more.

ST. LOUIS
the one and only good photo from the night. the word good has been used in this paragraph loosely.

ATLANTA
courtesy of Angeline and Mark, who unlike myself, know how to use a camera. for their efforts, we give thanks.

BIRMINGHAM

and last but not least, the kids are indeed alright...

+ / -

2005-03-23T20:14:00.000-06:00

my intentions for the weekend were to witness two shows by the Kings of Leon. i stand before you now, having only seen one. what happened, you might ask? . . .

Chattanooga, Tennessee.

i was unaware, but apparently Chattanooga and myself are at odds with one another. the reason? your guess is as good as mine. Chattanooga held me hostage this weekend not once, but on three separate occasions. and yes, it was against my will each time.

my trip from Memphis to Atlanta went from the normal seven hours to a little over ten. fun times. from what i've heard, some dude in a diesel decided to forget how to drive on the interstate, wreck, and in doing so ruin the evenings of hundreds of travelers, myself included. i never got to actually see the work of this fine gentleman (there was a detour) but i was hoping to get just close enough so that he could hear the standing ovation i was giving him for his wonderful automotive achievement. it's the least i could have done in tribute.

for those of you wondering, this is the part where you realize i hate eighteen wheelers. i hate them with all my being. actually the word hate is not good enough. i need a four dollar word to describe my distaste for these fine vehicles and the even finer individuals behind their steering wheels... i anathematize eighteen wheelers. there. i feel better.

during my layover in the Appalachian Mountains i decided to rear end a guy driving a BMW, then curse him for having an attitude with me. the guy got out screaming, and my natural response was to let him know at this time he was to simmer down. only i didn't put it in such an eloquent way. it's a wonder the guy didn't punch me in the face. nonetheless there was no damage. you could have leaned against the guy's car and had a better chance of scuffing it up. he was one of those typical BWM owner/drivers. you know the type.

after this lovely exchange, i decided that in all my boredom it would be good to communicate with the cow located in the trailer next to me. after about five minutes of 'mooing', the cow was pacing, looking at me strangely and making noises usually reserved for the slaughterhouse. i believe it's safe to assume i successfully stressed out the cow. yessssssssss.

next, my luck had me stopped next to the gentleman in the 'chester' van. this guy kept getting out of his vehicle, limping around it as if to give it the ol' Nascar inspection, smoke a cigarette (or two or eleven) and then make friends with the guy driving a minivan behind him, all so he could have someone watch out for him while he ran to the woods to urinate. nice. i'm thinking these guys are now life long friends. i just don't know what it makes me for witnessing this bonding session. in all honesty i was scared during the time i was around these guys. they looked like the type fellas who sit around all day, making a list of who they plan to kill in this world. you guessed it... my kind of folk.

i eventually got to Atlanta right as the Roxy was letting out for the show. i thought about picking my ticket up at will call anyway, but the 'eat shit' look i would have received from the will call booth person was something i didn't need by that point of the evening. from my friend's account, the Atlanta show was literally on fire, and quite possibly the best of the tour. wow. what luck i have. my friend Angeline was gracious enough to stick a pass on me, which lead me to meeting some cool folks from Nashville and Kentucky. they, like everyone else i know, shared a laugh in hearing my road woahs from earlier in the evening.

Angeline has a published account of the Atlanta show. she basically says what i would have said had i actually seen the show. only that her review is from a female point of view, and probably makes more sense than i could ever attempt to make. go. read. now.

i must admit that my luck with the road was somewhat better on Saturday. why? because i was'nt driving, of course. we did manage to get lost for a bit in downtown Birmingham thanks to mapquest. i've come to realize that sometimes mapquest is your friend, and then other times mapquest just loves to take you through the hearf of the 'hood, in what i believe to be an effort on finding out if you survive or not. it's a sick sick game mapquest plays. sick sick indeed.

the venue in Birmingham (Workplay Theater) was an amazing place. it looked like a cell block from a prison. i kept looking for the black dude with dreads in the wheel chair, but he apparently had the night off. the crowd was of the younger type which, per the usual, had me on edge. boys and girls aged 18-21 = not my friend. at least for the most part. there is no explanation. it's just the rule.

we met a lovely couple in the bar at Workplay before the show. how we met them is a testament to how random life becomes at times. our party consisted of four... two with tickets, two without tickets. the two without spent the entire evening bidding on a pair via eBay. they eventually won the auction, then met the seller at the venue for the purchase. in the brief exchange with the lovely couple, our friends realized the people they spent the afternoon outbidding were none other than the lovely couple. normally this would create a situation of angst and distaste seeing as how they weren't getting into the show because they didn't feel it necessary to ante up and outbid our friends, but not this night. in ways i'll never understand, our friend Mark was able to secure two extra passes into the show from band management, so as the lights went down, we were all on the dancefloor, readying ourselves for the musical delight to come. good things happen to good people. that's another rule. so Tamara and Michael (the lovely couple AND our new friends), you are definitely good people. never let anyone tell you differently.

being my last show on this tour (or so it seems) i took the entire set in like a deep breath. in other words, i was the fifth king this past Saturday in "the magic city." my friend labeled me the King of the Rodeo on many occasions that evening, and i can honestly say i accepted that role. it's my honest opinion that it just doesn't get any better than seeing a great band live who happens to be at the top of their game. it's like a Milwaukee's Best commercial. furthermore, the Features have grown on me immensely since that first encounter back in February. so much so that you'll be seeing me in attendance for their Nashville show next week at the Exit/In. it's said to include special guests. whomever could it be?

we ended the night in a smoke Waffle House somewhere in East Birmingham. eating at such a fine establishment is normally a welcoming thing for me, but not tonight. why? it could have something to do with the rather burly waiter who threatened to put ex-lax in my chocolate milk. he also mentioned more than a few times his plans to "doctor up" my meal. i never thought the question "did you dip your balls in this?," would ever be appropriate at the dinner table, but on this night, it was very appropriate. on top of that, i'm not too sure why Gallagher, who was actually preparing my food, found it necessary to NOT wear gloves while making toast. then again, we were at the Waffle House. what should you expect?

although there was quite a bit of things that had a hand in trying to bring my weekend down, it turned out quite alright. better than expected, considering the circumstances. figure in getting to eat lunch at the Varsity with my best friend in the world, and spending some time with a girl that's quite alright, in her own right, one could say there was no way the weekend could have been any better.

however with the good, comes the bad. my grandmother passed away Saturday evening. she was a great, great lady and now she finds herself in an even greater place. i could share story after story about my times spent at her house during the summers of my childhood. i'll do a little of that later this week.

it's a Kings of Leon weekend, Charlie Brown.

2005-03-18T07:12:00.001-06:00

i'm off to Atlanta, then Birmingham, for the next few days, to catch my last two shows of the Kings of Leon tour. five shows in a month. what a nice gift to give a boy. but before we head over, Rossetti and i will be having that lunch i mentioned with the largest man in the world. my mouth has been known to get me into all kinds of trouble and shenanigans, so here's to hoping this time tommorrow i have all ten fingers and all ten toes.

in the meantime, check out some photos a friend of a friend (thanks Mark!) took at the Austin, TX, and Houston KOL shows this past week (click the images for more, much more). the pictures are amazing, and if you and i were still in high school, they'd definitely be pasted on the inside of our lockers. right below the photo of the Ultimate Warrior, and next to this year's lacrosse schedule. right on.

AUSTIN

HOUSTON

because he's livin'.

2005-03-16T22:17:00.000-06:00

sorry i'm a little late on bringing this to the table, but the Greatest American Hero has been keeping a blog as he tours our great nation in his Airstream. he's out promoting his new film Sahara, at a trailer park near you. trailer parks have never seemed cooler.

it's been stated here before, and will be stated over and over again, this guy is my hero. by and large. he should be your hero as well.

let's read an excerpt from his most recent entry, shall we...

In the live time, I'll keep makin' a livin' with my life and a life with my livin', 'cuz when the J's for "just" and the K's for "keep" ... that's livin'.

if this were the Bible, that part would have been in red.

everyone please turn to page 357 in your hymnal. we'll sing the first and last stanza.

it's show time.

2005-03-16T11:40:00.000-06:00

so i got my fix of high school basketball action this past weekend. eight games in two days... that'll get you where you're going. but alas, i have a problem. the Mississippi High School Athletic Association has decided that the high school basketball tournament is so important these days that it warrants a high ticket price. ten bucks a session, two sessions a day... that's a little steep. work with me here, people.

all that aside, we had a great trip. we got to see the cream of the crop for the entire state, most notably Monta Ellis, the McDonald's All American, who by most national publications is considered the top basketball recruit in the entire nation. you may refer to him from this point forward as Mr. Everything, because everyone else does, and you and i both are into following popular trends. riiight. however, there's a slight problem. Mr. Everything has signed a letter of intent to play college basketball next season for Mississippi State (my alma mater, but we shall not discuss). i can't say this news excites me, but the good thing about that situation is that more than likely he'll skip college altogether and turn pro by entering the NBA Draft. at least that's what the experts are saying, and we all know the experts are always right.

as i mentioned before, high school basketball in Mississippi is taken very seriously. no more so than in the Jackson area. at last count, there are like 15 high schools in the Jackson Metro area. most of them are good. so good that they compete (i.e. recruit) for the top players in the city. it's not too uncommon to see one kid start at Jackson Murrah as a freshman, then graduate from Jackson Provine as a supertar phenom senior. why? not enough PT at Murrah, so Boy Wonder's gotta keep moving around til he gets his, y'know. we expect this behavior in college athletics, but not high school. Jackson is in a world all its own.

lastly, i picked up on a new trend in the high school basketball world over the weekend. apparently when you have a player on the team that is related to you, the entire family goes out and gets airbrushed t-shirts supporting said player. and by family, i mean everybody...

aunts. uncles. baby's mamas. step cousins. god parents.

everyone has their label on the front pocket, showing their connection to the all star player. i kept looking for Quintavia's Uncle Crisco or DaWon's Baby's Mama's Mama, but they must have been at the concession stand... buying a funnel cake.

last night on the way home, i called into a local radio station and won a radio contest. my prize? lunch with this guy...

i also get tickets to Smackdown next week, and a chance at winning tickets to Wrestlemania in Los Angeles. it's fixin' to get a whole lot better, man.

the whole prize is slightly ironic considering the last WWE event i attended over two years ago, i became notorious amongst wrestling fans for getting a sign on television that read, THE REAL BIG SHOW IS IN MY PANTS. i never thought that sign would become dinner conversation, but this Friday, it soooooooo will be.

meet me in Saint Louis (or not).

2005-03-09T20:46:00.000-06:00

i don't have a lot of time to go into last night, but i'll try.

i don't have photos from last night due to leaving my camera in St. Louis.

i don't know much, but i know i love you.

i'm already tired of typing the phrase 'i don't', so i'll stop.

the show was at Mississippi Nights, a small club located in a cobblestone area in downtown St. Louis, right next to the mighty Mississippi River. the venue is famous amongst my friends due to a Blind Melon show held there. the band stayed at the Embassy Suites right across the street from the venue, and Shannon Hoon recorded a couple of tracks in the hotel room, some of which landed on Nico (Life Ain't So Shitty).

if there's one thing i've learned about St. Louis in my few trips over it's that the people attending the shows there suck. big time. they just stand there, as if they're watching a movie or something. what gives. it got so bad last night that Caleb made several comments. put a little swing in your hips, boys and girls. don't be bashful. nobodies pointing fingers.

so there was this guy at the show last night that is apparently an enigma in the concert world of the Greater St. Louis area. his name is Beatle Bob, and he's a middle-aged man that goes to shows every night of the week, every week of the year. his name comes from the fact that he looks like the 6th Beatle, although i personally felt he more resembled a Monkee. the man has a way about him. his one man dancing show is a sight to see. it's as if he's fighting an imaginary person. he definitely looks like he's whipping someone's ass, only that he doesn't make contact with anyone. don't just sit there, google search this guy. there's tons of info available since he's apparently a pseudo celebrity in the Midwest.

this is the part where i'd normally be sharing photos with you, but like i said, i left the camera in a purse. only that i have no purse, instead my friend has a purse, and she lives in St. Louis. soon, very soon, there'll be imagery to share.

The Features opened again for KOL, and i must admit that they have grown on me. i really got into their set last night, so much so that i'm looking forward to picking up their record. to top it all off, the guys were very humble when i shared my enjoyment of their set with them afterwards. that's brownie points, kids, and brownie points are a good thing. a real good thing. check them out for yourself. everyone in Nashville screams about them, and they just may have things figured out better than you or i.

i talked for a bit with Nathan and Nacho before leaving. the recent New York week was discussed, as well as all the debauchery that ensued during said trip. according to Nacho, the video they filmed for King of the Rodeo during this stay is a must see. by anyone's standards. it's said to include a little line dancing. a little line dancing can go a long way, sonny boy.

.....

i'm off to the hometown tommorrow after work, then down to Jackson, MS, for high school basketball action with the older brother and the nephew. it's an annual ritual we share that i've unfortunately missed out on for the last few years. in case you were wondering (or even cared) Mississippi is a hotbed of high school basketball talent. if i'm not correct, basketball players are the state's primary export. this afternoon, my alma mater had their asses handed to them by the best team in the state. other than that, things are picking up.

i may try the photoblog thing for the weekend in an effort to keep things flowing here. then again i know nothing about photoblogging, so i may not. you'll just have to keep checking back to see what's new. bring a friend. wear a name tag. keep your hands to yourself.

in the meantime, i've listened to this song about eleventy hundred times in my car over the last two weeks. now it's your turn. singing along optional.

and this bird you'll never change.

2005-03-07T22:48:00.000-06:00

why is it that if i go a week without shaving, i tend to look Spanish? i turn into like a skanky gaucho or dirtied down Mario Conchita-Alonso.

i'm no fan of shaving. not in the least. i don't know many guys who are, but i'm one of those rare types who finds a way around shaving, no matter what. i basically go as long as i can without shaving, up until the point where i look AND feel like i live in a trailer (not that there's anything wrong with that). i call my shaving approach 'freebirding'. it works well.

if you decide to 'freebird', the best time are those two to four days after shaving. not too long, not too short. just right. it's like there's a small layer of dirt on your face. and dirt, my friends, is a good thing. everyone may call you Pigpen, but that's quite alright. they only wish to be more like you.

on the other hand, i look at guys who shave everyday, and they make me cringe. i have done and will continue to do everything i can in an effort to avoid becoming that guy. a man/boy can only look so clean and shiny before he starts resembling Richard Simmons. i don't know about all guys, but i never want anyone to be able to include that name and my name in the same sentence. gentleman, i'll stick to the 'freebirding' and suggest that you do the same.

i'm just not following this whole Spanish look thing that happens with the lack of shaving. there is no Spanish, Mexican, Portuguese or even Ecuadorian blood running through my veins, yet every time i go at least seven days without a shave, i look like the bastard child of Julio Iglesias and Charo. only i don't have the ability to sing love ballads that make middle-aged ladies go weak in the knees, nor am i ridiculously annoying. wait, that last one may depend on who you ask.

i was one of those kids who started the whole shaving thing late in life. there were other kids in my class who started shaving everyday in like the 6th Grade. those kids usually frightened and/or beat the crap out of me on a daily basis. as i got older, i became the guy in college who only had to shave once a month, depending on how much whiskey was consumed. some days i wish i was that 'husky' guy whose been shaving all his life. then again, most days i'm thankful for my shaving past, or lack thereof. the only real setback is that if you want me to grow a beard, you better be prepared to wait six weeks. maybe longer.

i must go pack now, for i'm off to the city with the Big Arch for yet another Kings of Leon show tommorrow. this will be my third show on this tour, with two more to go next week... Atlanta and Birmingham. who doesn't like a good road trip, or three?

yeah, in case you were wondering, they are that damn good.

you're a thorn in my pride.

2005-03-07T11:31:00.000-06:00

how's the old saying go... if at first you don't succeed, try try again. well, apparently the person who gave us that wonderful insight never tried to buy Nine Inch Nails tickets.

i tried to purchase tickets early Friday morning as a part of the 99x presale.

not happening.

i tried to purchase tickets at exactly 4:00 pm (and 0.0001 seconds) thru Ticketmaster, who i hate with all my being.

again, not happening.

someone, somewhere is trying to keep me from this show. but come on, man. it's NIN at the TABERNACLE! there are maybe only three or four other bands that could play the Tabernacle and excite me as much as this show. with that in mind, after a few strenuous hours of online investigation, it was determined that Ace of Base is not on tour. neither was Corey Hart.

damn you, cruel world. DAMN YOU!

.....

however, the Beale Street Festival lineup was announced late last week, and my theory was proved correct. here's how i saw things shaking down:

1. the organizers behind Memphis in May and the Beale Street Fest desperately needed to pull together a great lineup to a) save their jobs and b) satisfy the local music community, which in turn would keep the lynching talk to a minimum.

2. with the cancellation of River Stages in Nashville (didn't see that one coming) and Music Midtown in Atlanta being pushed back to June, organizers had less competition for talent. no competition from superior festivals = better talent for Beale Street Fest.

3. taking No. 2 into consideration, organizers could adversely pull talent already scheduled for Jazz Fest in New Orleans. this has been done quite often in the past, but in most recent years, these acts had played Jazz Fest, River Stages and Music Midtown throughout the weekend, leaving the little Beale Street Fest out in the cold. how rude.

there you have it. my three observations as to how the suits behind Memphis in May were able to pull together a decent 2005 Beale Street Music Fest lineup. i was one of those locals who always said that no matter what, i'd be in attendance year in and year out. my dedication began in 1996, but that all came to an end last year. blame it on the recent bullshit lineups consisting of bands like The Offspring, Puddle of Mudd, Default, LL Cool J, Bonnie Raitt, Hootie... must i go on?!? who are they kidding by pawning this crap off as headliners? i, like many others, had to move along and attend River Stages rather than sitting through another year of Saliva bringing the fat kid on stage. why not? better bands. cheaper tickets. there was no decision to be made. the only bad thing about River Stages was the actual stage setup. whoever came up with the bright idea of sticking the main stage in a sloped area with huge concrete steps should be shot. or at least caned.

as of today, i'm planning on renewing my subscription, and attending Beale Street Fest this year. that can't be said for many of my friends. they've lost touch with the Beale Street Fest. for many, there can be no reconciliation. nonetheless, here are the bands that brought me back to the table...

The Black Crowes (thank you, Lord, for brotherhood.)
Ben Kweller
Trey Anastasio
The Killers
North Mississipp Allstars
Robert Randolph and the Family Band
Tesla (yeah, i said it.)
The Roots
Elvis Costello (what, no Burt Bacharach?)
Jonny Lang
Billy Idol (with the rebel yell, your mom takes off her top.)
Los Lonely Boys
American Hi-Fi (gotta get back in touch with my 3rd grade side.)
Nickel Creek
Jack Johnson (proceed to Auto Zone Stage with Red Bull and NoDoze.)

i'm curious to know what others in the area (or not) feel about this year's lineup. are you like me, willing to give a second chance, or are you like my friends, lost forever.

marching to the beat of a different drum.

2005-03-02T11:49:00.000-06:00

another month, more music added to the tunes section. i started that aspect of the site with the intentions to update only once a month, but now, i'm wondering if i need to rotate those more often. what do you think?

i bought the new Mars Volta disc yesterday, the day it came out. this is a rare move on my part, but then again, this is a rare album. keep your ears peeled for the trumpet solo during The Widow. that would be our dear friend Flea. a man of many instruments, apparently. John Frusciante also guests on the album. Frusciante is an amazing guitarist. very underrated in the media. his solo albums take a few listens to fully grasp, but i encourage you to give them a go. if you do, you'll be the weirdest person amongst your circle of friends. nothing wrong with that. nothing at all.

i posted another Kings of Leon song for your ever growing appreciation of everything that is Kings of Leon. Wicker Chair is my favorite KOL cut, and it shall soon be yours. from what i've read, it's about one of their uncles. he was a drunk.

it's interesting see all this press, and all these new fans discuss KOL. i can honestly say i don't want to see them blow up (don't think they want that either), but i do wish them success. however, the thought of guys blasting their album at a frat house near you makes me ill. then again, they are in this business to make music, sell records, and perform for their fans. i guess you can't be too picky in who digs your music. just ask Justin Guarini.

the new Rolling stone has a huge article and photo spread of the Kings. apparently the photos transpired at Caleb's birthday shindig, back in January. anyway, good read, but someone should buy me the Elvis shirt worn by Jared. it only costs $115. that's chump change, boy. get on it.

i've been slower than most others in coming to terms with my interest in Conor Oberst, aka Bright Eyes. he just released two new albums, simultaneously. that could be the smartest or dumbest move ever, depending on who you ask. i can't vouch for Digital Ash in A Digital Urn, but i really enjoy I'm Wide Awake, It's Morning. it's my kind of acoustic folk rock, featuring background vocals by Emmylou Harris (doesn't she guest on everybody's record these days?). check out the first track with Jim James (My Morning Jacket). that's a voice you can't mistake, no matter how hard you try.

in honor of the Black Crowes putting aside their bitching, and returning to the stage later this month, i've posted my favorite tune from my favorite Crowes album, Amorica. things must be smoother in the Robinson household, because they have also been added as headliners for the New Orleans Jazz Fest and Bonnaroo. we can only hope Rich and Chris keep hugging, and everyone else keeps dancing.

.....

the links have been retooled. let me know if your grandmother or Cousin Lee Bob has a website. i'll be sure to add them. i'm always up for a good crocheting story, and/or learning how to stuff a possum.

.....

how dare i mention Scarlett Johansson, otherwise known as A Little Bit of Alright, the other day without including a photo for your viewing pleasure. i know, i know... what was i thinking. enjoy. keep both hands on the keyboard, if you know what i mean. that goes for the boys AND the girls.

The Swank and A Little Bit of Alright.

2005-02-28T22:38:00.000-06:00

so the Oscars were last night. like most awards shows, it lasts around 3 hours, but there are only about 15 minutes of interesting, conversation worthy moments. yet, if you're like me, you watch the entire show.

Jamie Foxx won Best Actor for Ray, as expected. i'm happy for Foxx, but let's be honest, who in the hell ever thought the guy who played Ugly Wanda on In Living Color would one day be accepting an Academy Award. better yet, this is the same guy who starred on numerous episodes of Def Comedy Jam. now he's Jamie Foxx, the serious actor. this is a hard pill to swallow, but it's slowly going down. i admit, i loved the guy in Ray. he was phenomenal. he became Ray Charles in every facet of the man. i also enjoyed him in Collateral, which caught me by surprise. but now, after winning, he joins Denzel Washington and Sidney Poitier as the only black actors to win an Academy Award for Best Actor. Foxx is no Denzel, and he's definitely no Poitier, but maybe one day.

in all honesty the Best Actor category was turned into a joke for the nomination of Clint Eastwood. ok, ok, i understand Mr. Eastwood is a legend and all that, but the dude seriously stunk it up in Million Dollar Baby. most of his lines are laughable at best. he spent the entire film talking about how girls are not tough, in this deep old grumpy man twang, making it seem like you were watching Grumpy Old Men 3. i wanted to laugh everytime he was on the screen. bring back Clyde the Orangutan, old man. at least then we can laugh WITH you and not AT you.

however, i did like Million Dollar Baby. primarily for the fine performance of the other actors in the film. Morgan Freeman (a Mississippian, bitch!) was great as usual, but my attention was directed to Miss Hilary Swank. i have to admit, i'm a big fan of the Swank. she can do no wrong in my book, fellas. i'll watch anything she's in, no matter if it's a boring as hell period piece or dirty independent film where she plays a guy or some crappy Karate Kid spin-off.

the only thing that sucks about the Swank is the fact that she's married to Chad Lowe. i mean, come on, it's Chad Lowe! this is one of the five guys in the world that i could actually beat the crap out of... with little effort. the Swank could do so much better, but then again, by marrying Lowe, she gives every other guy in the world hope for landing her if things do fall apart with that geek.

as if you needed a list of reasons to justify my admiration for the Swank, check out this photo from the February edition of Vanity Fair. they call it 'The Body', i call it 'Running from Chad'.

as for the rest of the show, i enjoyed Sandler (surprise, suprise), some of Chris Rock's jokes, and the segment with Sandler AND Rock together, primarily because they were ripping on Catherine Zeta-Jones. everything else was rather forgettable.

except for Scarlett Johannson, otherwise known as A Little Bit of Alright. maybe she and the Swank can find a project to work on in the future. i smell money. among other things.

once and future Kings.

2005-02-22T11:39:00.000-06:00

i could write page after page about the Kings of Leon shows from this past weekend, but i'm not going to do that. then again, i might.

go here for pictures to accomodate story time.

the shows were great. i expected them to be great. no real surprise there. however, i expected the crowds to be less than stellar, full of the cool Nashville kids who love to do nothing more than look down on everyone else instead of enjoy good music. to my surprise, those types were in very limited supply. this, as you can imagine, made me very happy.

KOL attracts a rather odd crowd in this area, primarily because it's their home. lots of family in and around the hills of Tennessee. there were quite a few folks at the show that when you looked at them, you figured they had to be a cousin, uncle, great grandmother or step brother. they just had to be. we should have taken a Followill roll call.

i also saw a lot of the same faces both nights. it's good to know the support these guys are getting in their hometown. now if we can focus on getting a show booked in Memphis. it's happened before (once), which means it can happen again. let the praying commence.

i wrote about the Features before, and maybe i was a little hard on them. they were good, don't get me wrong, just not what i was expecting. you have to understand how built up there were by a few of my friends (and practically everyone in and around the Nashville area). i went into the show expecting to be blown away, unable to walk home without a limp, and that didn't happen. to their defense, most bands that i listen to often, i hated the first time i heard their music. Nirvana. Blind Melon. Jeff Buckley. Led Zeppelin. Lynyrd Skynyrd. The Doors. i hated all those bands when i heard them for the first time. now they are considered my favorites. who knows, maybe one day the Features will join that list. i can say this... i would definitely buy an album. that's gotta mean something.

Vagenius, an interesting band out of LA, opened on Friday night. imagine a skanky younger version of Elvira, playing one of those keyboards you wear like a guitar. also, imagine this skanky Elvira with what seemed to be the largest outtie belly button ever known. it looked like a lower thumb, or an extra pointer finger. i'm still amazed we made it thru the set with no vomiting. there's just so much a stomach can take, y'know.

anyway, KOL played a new song, Head to Toe, during the encore each night. be sure and give it a listen. also, they will be performing tonight on Late Night with David Letterman, along with Barbara Walters (i thought she died?) and Rachel Bilson from the OC (i think i just threw up in my mouth... wait... nevermind... false alarm). then later next month, they'll be on Conan.

i'll keep you posted. it's what i do.

three in the morning come a bang bang bang.

2005-02-18T12:31:00.000-06:00

last night. first night. Kings of Leon residency at Exit/In.

good times were had by all. you should have been there. if the music didn't get you going, the boisterous fat guy dancing in the middle of the crowd definitely would have done the trick. the guy was intense. it gave new meaning to the phrase 'throwing your weight around.' but hey, he was into the music, and the music was good. you can't fault him.

the Features were the openers for night one. they were built up to me by friends, but all in all, i found them to be pretty... meh. however, i thought the keyboardist/moog player had an uncanny resemblance to the red-headed guy in Braveheart. it was surreal. i kept feeling the urge to yell out FREEDOM! FREEDOM!

when it comes to the Features sound, my friend Russ said it best, "you know, if i want to see Weezer, i'll buy a ticket to a Weezer show and go see Weezer."

check out a great article on KOL from yesterday's Tennessean. also, check out the video for '4 Kicks'. both will do a body good.

February's sweet fifteen.

2005-02-15T22:39:00.000-06:00

today is february fifteenth. to honor that occasion, here's a song by Bright Eyes, appropriately titled February Fifteenth.

oh the irony. whatever shall we do.

.....

yesterday was Valentines Day. i don't really do Valentines Day, but i've been known to in the past. not to be a pessimist, but i agree with most people who label it as a holiday formed by the greeting card companies and florists. then again, wasn't there a St. Valentine? as a matter of fact, didn't Jon Bon Jovi star in a film about the guy?

for our fat brethren, yesterday served as the one day during the year where they can eat tons of chocolate, and not feel guilty. Gertrude eating an entire box of chocolate. wrappers and all. how's that for a lovely image?

.....

the day before were the Grammys. or should i say a-ton-of-performances-by-artists-i-care-nothing-about-and-a-few-awards-thrown-in-for-good-measure. it seems like all the good awards are given during 'pre show ceremonies' more and more each year. what's up with that?

Ben Harper and the Blind Boys of Alabama won Grammys this year for their phenomenol collaboration. they took home the golden victorolas in the categories of Best Traditional Soul Gospel Album and Best Pop Instrumental Performance. you wouldn't know this unless you watched the scrolling names at the bottom of your television screen. now i'm not sure, but i would bet that acceptance speech had to be interesting and insightful. i mean it's Ben Harper and the Blind Boys. that's like Jesus deciding to start a punk band with the disciples, not that Ben Harper is a prophet or anything. we all missed out. that's all i'm saying.

my favorite moment of the Grammys was the acceptance by Miss Loretta Lynn and Little Jack White. Loretta in her prom dress, of course, and Jack looking like an extra from a Robert Rodriguez film or Glenn Danzig's twin brother rediscovering his Old West roots. the back and forth between these two was prime. Jack respects and admires Miss Lynn so much he's rendered to nervously acting like a school boy around her. Loretta looks at Lil Jack like he's the pride of her litter. it's nice. real nice.

for the most part, the Grammys left me with a lot of questions...

are 'Let's Get It Started' and 'Let's Get Retarded' by the Black Eyed Peas the same song? if so, why did 'Started' get nominated, and not 'Retarded'?

does Brian Wilson know where he is and what he's doing at all times?

why in the hell did Melissa Etheridge shave her head? more importantly, why in the hell was Melissa Etheridge allowed to perform on the show?

whatever happened to Wilson Phillips? (i thought they were on a comeback.)

does Kanye West realize he takes himself way more seriously than anyone else, or is this feeling oblivious to Hip Hop Boy Wonder?

where were the Lifetime Achievement award for Joey Lawrence?

when will Burt Reynolds release a spoken word album?

is Norah Jones honestly conscience of her surroundings, or does she have that glazed, deer in headlights look all the time?

answers, folks. the Grammys owe me answers. i refuse to be shortchanged this time around.

.....

i bought a new computer this past weekend. then today i bought a new cell phone. well, actually it's not a cell phone. it's a sidekick. i'm thinking about naming it Ponch. seems like a better fit than Little Buddy, Steve or Snazzy Pocketwatch. you're input is very welcome.

the only technologically advanced item i've yet to purchase this week is an ipod. but thats where YOU guys come in. more on that later. and before you ask, yes, you are required to help me. permission slips will be taken up after lunch.

i was unaware you mattered. thanks for sharing, tho.

2005-02-11T12:08:00.000-06:00

recently it's been brought to my attention by a few others in the area that my blog has become irrelevent, pointless even, due in large part to my lack of participation in the Memphis scene.

hmmmmmmm... what to say, what to say.

i'll reply to these feelings in the same way i reply to most questions, concerns, generalizations, opinions thrown my way. one word, three syllables...

whatever.

excuse me, gotta get back under the rock.

pulling the strap down at Sundance.

2005-01-31T20:54:00.000-06:00

Hustle & Flow didn't win the Grand Jury Prize at Sundance Saturday night, but another Memphis film did. Forty Shades of Blue, shot in Memphis by former Memphian Ira Sachs took home the prestigious award (Sachs and Bob Balaban may be long lost twin brothers... brothers from another mother?!?). you're probably wondering why i've made no mention of this film before. it's quite simple... they pissed me off.

a friend and i went to the open casting call about a year ago. the folks behind the film decided to close up shop early, and end the casting session a few hours shy of the advertised schedule. however, they did take everyone's information who showed up to audition for the director, promising to call those individuals back in the next two days to arrange for more interviews. of course, my name and info got thrown into that pile. as of today, i've never received a phone call. production on the film took place last February and March throughout the city. now, i'm no pessimist, but i think it's safe to say that ship has sailed. i will not be working on Forty Shades of Blue.

according to reviews, the film is based on a character similar to Sam Phillips, the patriarch of Sun Records, and stars Rip Torn in the lead role. the same Rip Torn who was most recently seen in cinemas across America uttering the lines, "if you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball!" casting Mr. Torn in a serious role is a bit of a stretch... a bit of a stretch i'm not so sure i can make no matter how hard i try.

on the other hand, Forty Shades also stars Darren Burrows, who should be familiar to you as Edward 'Ed' Chigliak from Northern Exposure. i loved Northern Exposure, but more importantly i loved Northern Exposure because of Ed.

Hustle & Flow did not leave Sundance empty handed. it took home the Audience Award, the best film as voted by the fans, which according to Craig Brewer, was the only award he and the crew ever wanted. while it would have been nice to bring home both awards, i'd have to say stealing the show and being the most talked about film at the fest wins out over being voted best by a handful of judges. hands down.

regardless, it's good times for Memphis and it's new relationship with Hollywood. the courtship couldn't have been summed up any better than the way Brewer described while accepting his award Saturday night...

"What a great night for Memphis. I'm calling it 'Lawler's Revenge.' Remember when Andy Kaufman used to fight Jerry Lawler? Kaufman would always say, 'I'm from HOLLYWOOD!' Well, guess what? We're from MEMPHIS!"

you can't get any more Memphis without having the Peabody ducks bring the winning envelope down the aisle. hmmmm, there's always next year.

the twenty-seven dollar haircut.

2005-01-27T20:17:00.000-06:00

the haircut... happened. what's done is done.

Tuesday night i finally got the long awaited and anticipated trim. and let me tell you, it was a big trim. there was at least a pound of hair (if not two) in the floor once the lady was done. she definitely worked for her pay that evening. and it's not everyday that a guy will pay twenty-seven dollars for a haircut. the place was recommended, located in Germantown, and i knew what i was in for. the only thing that sucked was the other hot stylist working that night who thought every guy should bow to her mercy, and fetch her Starbucks whenever she blinked twice. whatever.

when i was around twelve or thirteen, i finally realized my mom had been taking me to this beauty college for haircuts my entire life. basically, these girls who were training to be professional hair stylists and what not had been using me as their 'training'. it was like DeVry for Hair, or something like that. upon finding out i had been this guinea pig for all these trainees my entire life, i began to wonder if my mom truly had my best intentions in her mind. i mean, i'd been used as a glorified manequin head up until that point! it's no wonder i had a rash of horrible haircuts during my formative years. but, hey, there was no head trauma or blood loss, so i should probably consider myself lucky, right?

anyway, this was the first 'official' haircut i've receive since last June. there had been a few trims from friends during that period, but no real deal. it's a lot shorter than it's been in a long, long time. even shorter than the profile picture on the right, and yes, new pictures will be coming.

the best thing about it all... i can finally style it into a mohawk.

can you say skinny white Mr. T?

that's what i thought, sucka! now give me my gold, foo!

scenes from I-40.

2005-01-26T16:55:00.001-06:00

(more) hustle & (cash) flow.

2005-01-24T11:36:00.000-06:00

it happened. Hustle & Flow brought down the house Saturday night at Sundance. according to reports, the standing room only crowd gave a standing ovation after the screening, then the game to buy the distribution rights began. and the winner is... Paramount Pictures and MTV Films.

Hustle was bought for $16 million, as a part of a three picture deal, $9 million going for Hustle, and $3.5 million for two more John Singleton produced films. Rumors have already surfaced that the first of those two will be Black Snake Moan, and will begin production this summer. the $16 million sell price sets a new record for a film purchased at Sundance. doing the math, it's safe to say that Singleton won the Showcase Showdown.

according to reports, Hustle & Flow should be released this summer, either late June or early July. my only reservation in the whole matter is that since MTV Films will carry the promotions, expect them to push Ludacris as one of the main stars, if not THE main star. don't get me wrong, his role is vital to the film, but his screen time is very minimal, and could be best described as a glorified cameo. the film should be promoted on the shoulders of the primary actor's performances, for which all the acclaim at Sundance has been regarded. Terrence Howard is the first on that list.

all this good news makes me very happy, and i can't wait for my chance to see the film. Brewer mentioned a Memphis premiere shortly after Sundance. that might have changed with all this moving and shaking, but let's keep our fingers crossed!

it's hip to be square.

2005-01-20T11:53:00.000-06:00

some of the first photos (click here for more) have been released for Hustle & Flow. they look amazing, and for me, it's a surreal feeling viewing at them, knowing how many hours i spent on that set. from what i've heard, the few reviews that have filtered thru thus far are very positive. some going even as far as to say Hustle has one of the best shots at taking home the top prize at Sundance this weekend. this is great news for a lot of people in Memphis that watched this film come together, but more importantly, this is great news for the city of Memphis. hopefully word of a local premiere will surface soon. in the meantime, anyone want to take a last second road trip to Utah?

.....

the Cory Branan / Ben Nichols show last night at the HiTone was a treat. the two went back and forth during the set, trading acoustic songs, which was a nice way of handling things. i really enjoyed the show, and realize now that i should have caught Mr. Branan a few more times before he decided to leave town.

we had to leave a little early from the show. being around that many hipsters for more than a few hours tends to cause me pain. it really sucks, because i love going to the HiTone. great times are had with each venture, but at the same time, it always feels like i'm attending a hipster convention of sorts. everyone is trying to 'out hip' everyone else. this is normally not the case with 21 and over places (altho last night was 18 and up. why, Lord, why?). i just don't get it. really, i don't. be who you are, y'know. if your parents are doctors and attorneys, and you drive a Volvo, don't come at me wearing pinstripe pants with a ladies baby doll '77 Stones vintage concert tee (that you bought at the mall last week), hair looking unwashed like a greaser (altho you spent 2 hours making it look that way) and drinking a Pabst.

last night's highlight was the guy in the skin tight hooded sweatshirt with Ms. Lady in Red, who happened to be around a duece and three quarters, and apparently had never heard the expression, "you make a better door than a window, sister!" now, i'm known to wear most of my shirts fairly tight. i just like it that way as opposed to having everything hang off me like most hip hop artists. however, i shall not ever (you can write this down now) be caught sporting the extra small hooded sweatshirt. that's just not right. the fine folks at Russell Athletic didn't go thru all those long hours and late nights just for you to go out and look like a queer jackass.

have you no dignity or taste, sir?

wiser time, move on.

2005-01-19T13:30:00.000-06:00

good news, everyone.

the Black Crowes may be getting back together. they have scheduled five shows in March at the Hammerstein Ballroom in NYC. billed as "All Join Hands,' this is wonderful to hear for anyone who considers themselves even a casual Black Crowes fan. but it gets even better. the band has handpicked their opening support for each night. the North Mississippi Allstars on the 26th, and Ben Kweller on the 27th, both mighty fine choices, even if i may be a little biased. we can only hope all goes well, the Robinson brothers learn to love one another again, and this turns into the beginning stages of the next chapter in the Crowes life. they truly are one of the best, if not THE best, live rock and roll band, as it's been noted time and time again.

also, the Kings of Leon are rolling out their US tour dates, starting with a show at the Sundance Film Festival this weekend. this interests me for the fact that while on the Hustle & Flow set last summer, i burned a disc and introduced DJ Qualls to their music. Hustle will premeire at Sundance on Saturday. more on that later this week.

as of now, i'll be seeing KOL in Nashville (two shows), Atlanta and Birmingham, with the possibilty of also venturing to St. Louis and New Orleans. if you are in these areas, i recommend you come out to the shows as well. guaran-damn-teed good times. or your money back.

finally, we are going to see Cory Branan and Ben Nichols at the HiTone tonight. apparently this will be Branan's final Memphis show, before moving to NYC. he's often considered the best local musician, and seeing as how i've yet to catch one of his shows, now seems like the right time. Lucero is quite possibly my favorite local band, so it will be cool to see Nichols solo acoustic take on things. the HiTone keeps the Pabst flowing and this keeps the jag happy. yeah, i know where my roots come from. boy, you better not judge me.

.....

there has been a noticeable slack off of posting lately, and that will more than likely continue. i'm in the process of having the website moved, but more importantly redesigned. this has been in the works for quite a while, with many unaccomplished empty promises, but now i'm finally going thru with the plan. i hope to have this change in effect by early February. patience, darling, patience. the blogspot address will still exist, however no new material will be posted. there are two new addresses... jasongoode.net and lifeaccordingtojag.com. mark your calendars, for i'd hate to see you left behind. kinda like Kirk Cameron.

he's gone country, look at them boots.

2005-01-15T15:22:00.000-06:00

last night i went down yonder on the Chattahoochee. never knew how much that muddy water meant to me. but i learned how to swim and i learned who i was... a lot about livin’ and a little ’bout love.

no, really. i did.

my friend called me yesterday afternoon, offering a ticket to the Alan Jackson show at the FedExForum. who am i to turn down a good ol' country and western music show? my only regret is that i wish i'd gotten the invite a little sooner so that leather chaps could have been found in time and added to the night's attire. it's not every day a man gets to wear leather chaps out on the town. you gotta run with it when opportunities such as last night arise.

i must admit, as shocking is it may sound, that i actually had a good time at the show. there were tons of cowboy hats (or 'high quality Stetsons' as i called them), denim shirts and bolo ties. attempting to fit in, i naturally wore my cowboy boots, but that was just not enough. if i could have figured out a way to strap a case of the Beast on my back, then it would have been like a big ol' family reunion.

out of the six hundred some odd compact discs in my music collection, there are maybe three/four by country artists. one of those three/four happens to be Alan Jackson's Greatest Hits Collection (i think the other two are Garth Brooks and Shania Twain, but don't tell anyone). i became an Alan Jackson fan after hearing Jon Brennan perform his song, 'Here In the Real World' on (what else) the Real World: Los Angeles.

Jackson didn't play my song last night, leaving me a little disappointed. he didn't play 'If French Fries Were Fat Free' either, so i can't say i was the only lone ranger sent home with a head hung low. then again, being lonely and depressed is what country music is supposedly all about, so it's fair to say we got what we paid for. so on that note...

Don't rock the jukebox,
I wanna hear some Jones.
Cause my heart ain’t ready,
for the Rolling Stones.
I don’t feel like rocking,
since my baby’s gone.
So don’t rock the jukebox,
play me a country song.

dance dance revolution, baby.

2005-01-10T22:45:00.000-06:00

thank you, Randy Moss. no thank you, national sports media.

the avalanche of criticism that's fallen since Moss 'fake' mooned the Green Bay fans has been ridiculous. can the players no longer have fun? must they all act like robot drones and possess/display absolutely no personality? apparently that's the prototype for the perfect athlete according to most media types.

i applaud people like Randy Moss, and their brilliant, quick witted celebratory displays after big plays. they help make the game exciting. they keep all the fans on their toes with constant thoughts and anxiety over 'what will he do next'. player celebrations have been a part of sports since i can remember. it's just that now athletes put extra effort into their entertainment, almost as a means to one up their opposition. it's a form of taunting. not the bad kind (slashing of the throat, anyone?), but the good kind that elevates the excitement surrounding a game, and depending on the team you're rooting for, riles you up or makes you proud.

this very topic is one of the main reasons i've slowly turned into a huge Terrell Owens fan. i've always loved players with flash and flare, and TO definitely fits the bill. TO brings his A game each and every week, and a part of that A game are his unique ways of expressing himself after big plays. while watching the Eagles (or Eggles, as Stuart Scott likes to say), i find myself sitting on the edge of my seat, waiting for his next move. blinking is an afterthought, for i can't miss the show. i absolutely can't. a few of my favorite TO moments from years past...

TO's salute to America's Team by running to the big star at midfield in Big D after each touchdown scored on the Cowboys (Sept. 24, 2000)
signing the touchdown ball with a Sharpie and giving it to a lucky fan in Seattle (Oct. 14, 2002)
TO's take on the Ray Lewis dance at Baltimore (Oct. 31, 2004)
the pom-pom dance against Green Bay (Dec. 15, 2002)

also, who can forget Joe Horn calling home? pure genius. it got even better when David Carr attempted to mock Horn, and got fined for doing so. go back to the drawing board, Mr. Carr. and when you return, think original ideas, how 'bout it.

i'll tell you like i told Chris Vernon on Overtime today, if i were in the NFL, and had the luxury of scoring a crucial touchdown in a big game, like the Playoffs, i'd settle for nothing less than stripping down buck naked and performing the Ickey Shuffle all around the end zone. if you go, you gotta go old school, natch.

i'mma make it do what it do, baby.

2005-01-09T22:14:00.000-06:00

Friday night, some friends and i finally say Ray at the Highland Quartet on Poplar (discount theater that obviously hasn't been remodeled since 1979, and smells like afro sheen... in other words, my kind of place). the film is great, with the performance by Jamie Foxx definitely Oscar worthy, and now i'm sorry it took three months for me to see. i've never been a big Jamie Foxx fan. i'd heard that instead of singing his own material (like Joaquin Pheonix does in Walk the Line) he'd be lipsynching to actual Ray Charles recordings. at first, i thought this might be a bad idea and that it might detract from his performance. not hardly. Foxx really nailed it on all cylinders. i walked out of the theater seeing him in a different light, and i'm sure many others did the same.

since seeing the film, i've grown this newfound fondness and appreciation for Brother Ray. don't get me wrong, i've always enjoyed the music of Ray Charles, just never really dug into his catalog, to see all there was to offer. i was more in tune with the classics that we've all heard over and over again (i.e. Georgia On My Mind, What I'd Say, Hit the Road). there was so much more to Brother Ray, and i'm sorry now for having discovered this so late. i've spent the last two days listening to the film soundtrack religiously. i don't see this trend ending anytime soon since i can't seem to get enough. see the tunes section for one of my favorite cuts.

.....

i've been listening to Van Lear Rose, the latest from Loretta Lynn, which was produced by Jack White (of the White Stripes) here in Memphis at Easley McCain Studios. i can't say i'm a huge Loretta fan, but i've really enjoy what i heard, especially the duet with White, Portland, Oregon, which i also added to the tunes section on the right. the video (click here to watch) was shot in Memphis at Earnestine & Hazel's last July. Sean Penn visited in 21 Grams. i'd love to visit more often, and like i told my friend the other day, i wish we went there every time we went out, instead of the once or twice we have thus far. i love the look and feel of the place. it's one of those bars that you feel dirty just for being there, and the rumor that it was a brothel back in the day helps to validate that feeling. as with the Highland Quartet, it's definitely my kind of place.

ladies, no more excuses.

2005-01-09T18:22:00.000-06:00

for all the girls out there who complain about not being able to pee while standing up, i no longer want to hear it. Magic Cone has answered your prayers. be sure to check out the how-to video, in case you need direction. i'd hate for you to screw this thing up.

guy rules now appply to you... two shakes and you're playing with it.

out with the old, in with the New Years.

2005-01-07T11:58:00.000-06:00

last Friday, my brother, nephew and i went to the Liberty Bowl, otherwise known as the most exciting game of the 2004 bowl season, and quite possibly the most exciting game of the year. many points were scored. eighty-four to be exact. at one point, Boise State scored 14 points in 14 seconds. that has to be a record in some book. rest assured it was a good game.

we spent the day as Boise State fans. you gotta love our brethren from the great Northwest. on top of traveling so far for the game, they were all around nicer folk than those from Louisville. besides that, how can you respect a team whose home playing field is called Papa Johns Cardinal Stadium? the only thing worse would be Movie Gallery Veterans Stadium, home of the Troy (used to be State, now only Troy) Trojans in Troy, AL. you have to let that one slide because, well, they are from Alabama. in their defense, the whole 'three steps behind' way of thinking must be enforced.

if the excitement of the game wasn't enough, the view the Boise State cheerleaders provided was worth the price of admission. now i know most males drool over anything associated with the word cheerleader, but let's face it, there are some dogs out there today posing as cheerleaders. it's like the standard to be a cheerleader has diminished or something. however, this is not the case with the Boise State crew, except for maybe the dudes (they are only there to hoist the girls, and hoisting is what they'll do). i found myself, along with most others in our section, often distracted from the ladies screaming...

Go! Orange! Go! Big Blue!
Fight! Fight! B-S-U!

everyone was treated to an elaborate performance by Little Richard at halftime. well, Little Richard and about 5000 singing, dancing teenagers which we will refer to as the Go USA Red White and Blue Forever Dance Team for 2005! Mr. Richard is 70 something years old and apparently has found the fountain of youth. either that, or he's pumping Botox and huffing gas station speed likes like its oxygen and candy. some investigation will be needed for verification, but it is my belief that Little Richard and Dick Clark are not human. they are some rare lifeform, sent here to ridicule everyone and ring in each and every New Year. and Mr. Clark may very well be the Anti-Christ. it's down to him or Toby Keith, with Janet Reno recently exonerated.

.....

we welcomed 2005 with the masses on Beale Street, which was like the Times Square of Memphis... more tourists than locals, and more kids than tourists. there's nothing better than waiting in the beer line for twenty minutes, while some snobby white kid tries to explain his real name is Jermaine, he's from Kalamazoo, MI, and he's forty-seven years old. even better, the girls carrying their older sisters expired license. that worked in like 1984, kids, but now it's time to update the gameplan.

this year, there were fireworks and bubbles during the celebration. fireworks, i understand that, but bubbles? that one needs a little explanation. maybe i missed the memo or something.

speaking of Beale Street, i want to get a group of friends together and take one of those photos they do in front of the spray painted backdrops. have you seen these things? i think they'd make great Christmas cards. graffiti and gangsta signs scream Christimas cheer, y'know.

anyway, hope everyone had a great New Years, however they may have celebrated, and here's to hoping 2005 is simply the best... better than all the rest.

i apologize, that line was stolen from a Tina Turner song. i don't know what i was thinking.

two.thousand.four: year in review (kinda)

2005-01-07T00:09:00.000-06:00

well, here it is. my 'best of' lists for 2004. yeah, i know, anyone and everyone make these things at the end of every year, and by posting mine i'm just joining the club. that very well may be the case, but nonetheless, this is my take on the highlights of the last year. dig in.
.....

Best Albums of 2004
here are the top five albums released in the last year, according to me. pretty self explanatory.

5. Franz Ferdinand - Franz Ferdinand (Sony)
this was one of the most solid albums, top to bottom, of the entire year. no wonder it's on practically everyone's top ten list. listening to the album reminded me in a lot of ways of when i first heard the Strokes... refreshing new music in an otherwise unrefreshing music scene. i remember first seeing these guys on an episode of You Hear It First (on MTV2) back in March, and thinking they were definitely a band to place on the radar. very grand debut. very grand indeed.

4. The Hiss - Panic Movement (Sanctuary Records)
the Hiss are a garage band from Atlanta that, as the trend seems to be, became huge in the UK, but go unrecognizable in the US. why is it that the British have a much better gauge on new/good music than anyone else? be sure to check out the song 'Riverbed' as its definitely deserving a nod as one of the best tracks of the year.

3. The Vines - Winning Days (Capitol)
i must admit that upon first listen, i wrote off this sophomore album from Craig Nichols and the guys as nowhere near the level of their debut, Highy Evolved. but now, over time, i see this as far superior to their first effort. recently, Nichols has been diagnosed with a form of Autism, so everyone calling him an asshole for his behaviors (on and off stage) are now the true assholes. 'Autumn Shade 2' felt very autobiographical for me, and 'Ride' is the best album opening track in quite some time.

2. Kings of Leon - Aha Shake Heartbreak (RCA)
technically, this album shouldn't be on the list since it won't be released in the US til February, but the KOL are one of my favorite bands. this album was leaps and bounds better than their debut, Youth & Young Manhood, and i thought that album was near perfect. i can find no flaws with this record. i'm a huge KOL fan (in large part to their sound, but also for the local flavor, they are from the Memphis area) and had been anticipating this album since the recording sessions last Spring. let's just say i was in no way disappointed. you won't be either.

1. Secret Machines - Now Here Is Nowhere (Warner Brothers)
Secret Machines were introduced to me as a modern day Pink Floyd. now i'm not sure they can wear that hat (what band out there can?) but they are a definate change of pace from most commercial music released today, and a welcomed change of pace, at that. the music on this album creates a listening atmosphere and aura that presents itself like an auditory ride for your mind. a definite headphone disc, that you should be listening to right now. also, this is one of those albums that ten years from now, people will be talking about how it changed their lives. get on the bandwagon now, or get left behind, folks.
.....

Best Albums of 2004 (jag DIDN'T buy)
money doesn't grow on trees anymore, therefore i was unable to purchase every good album released during the year. i'm sorry. i promise to work harder this year. if Menudo would stop reissuing their entire catalog, then this would definitely help my cash flow. how's a guy supposed to resist a new extended edition of Evolucion? it just can't be done, man. anyway, here are the top five albums that, for whatever reason, i did not get around to purchasing over the last year.

5. Wilco - A Ghost Is Born (Nonesuch)
Wilco has become this media darling, with every music publication in the land labeling them as THE band, and we all should follow their every move. i like Wilco. i don't love Wilco. apparently because of that, i don't know what i'm talking about when it comes to my musical opinion. after reading list after list of the top albums of 2004, i must be insane not to include them on my list. i must admit, tho, i'm still listening and trying to comprehend Yankee Hotel Foxtrot, and until i figure out what's going on with that one, A Ghost Is Born will have to remain on the back burner. i'll eventually get around to it and that's a promise.

4. Danger Mouse - The Grey Album
this album didn't make the top five list for a simple reason... you can't buy it! i've moved past my gangsta rap days (don't we all go thru that phase?) but i can appreciate Jay-Z as a talented artist, even tho his recent collaborations with Linkin Park (what are you thinking, Jigga Man). i actually bought The Black Album, which says a lot for me to actually spend money on a rap disc. mixing that album, with the Beatles White Album was pure genius on the part of DJ Danger Mouse. click the link above to download this one for yourself. besides, it won't cost you anything, and that's part of the beauty of it all, boys and girls.

3. Interpol - Antics (Matador Records)
Interpol is the band that i've been promising myself to give a listen for the past two years. they are always lumped into the same category as other bands i like (Strokes, Libertines, Snow Patrol, Franz Ferdinand) so i have a strong gut feeling it's just a matter of time before i become a huge Interpol fan. buying this album, along with their debut, Turn On the Bright Lights, are on the 'to do' list. promise.

2. Arcade Fire - Funeral (Merge Records)
over the course of the year, i never heard of Arcade Fire. this album was released in September, and according to most music journalists, it's the album of the year. you must be doing something right to have that many folks blowing smoke up your dress. i don't know a lot about the band, other than they are from Montreal and their lumped into the ever-growing laundry list category known as garage bands. the Arcarde Fire are gonna need some looking into. for sure. or as Snoop would say, fo shizzle me bizzle.

1. Modest Mouse - Good News for People Who Love Bad News (Sony)
the breakthru album for a band thats been around for nearly ten years... that's the story with this one. the coolest thing to me about the album is the fact that it was recorded almost entirely in Oxford, MS, with additional production in Memphis. it's good to see an album made in the area get so much attention because that can only bring more artists to the area to record future records. Memphis and the South should be major players in the music scene as they once were. thanks to Modest Mouse, and others (notably Elvis Costello and Tom Waits) the music world should be taking notes and focus more attention to the area.
.....

Top Five Shows of 2004
quite possibly my favorite thing in the world is go to shows. i live for it. i live for live music. that's an understatement. in an effort to satisfy my strong desires to see as much live music as possible, it is not uncommon to see me drive long distances just to be entertained by a band or musician. looking back on the last twelve months, i realize there were not as many good shows as in years before. that's a shame, my friend. nonetheless, here is the best of the best of what i had the opportunity to attend. dim the lights. the music's about to begin.

5. Franz Ferdinand / The Killers / Scissor Sisters / The Whigs / The Delays - The Masquerade - Atlanta, GA - 09.12.04
99x, the big alternative rock radio station out of Atlanta, puts on a show every few months showcasing new and emerging bands. they call it the Upstart Fest, and this was the most recent entry. the Whigs are an Athens band that my friends really dig. they have a great sound, and maybe just maybe, will find themselves performing in front of many more people this year. also, according to my friends, this was their biggest show to date. i can't say much about the Scissor Sisters. they scared me. i'm not a fan. this was my first of two opportunities to see the Killers this year, and this their worst of those two performances. they seemed nervous, like they didn't fit in or something. it showed, and we all took notice. now you're probably thinking, why did you list this as a top five show if you thought the Scissor Sisters and Killers sets were so weak? two words... Franz Ferdinand. they tore the stage apart, built it back up, then tore it down again. all within a 90 minute set. they had everyone eating out of their hand and they bring a ton of energy to the stage. before seeing them for yourself, i suggest breathing exercises. maybe even a few Red Bulls.

4. Michael Glabicki - Full Moon Club - Memphis, TN - 12.10.04
Mr. Glabicki is the lead singer/song writer of Rusted Root, a great jam band that you should know by heart. my friends and i saw Glabicki at this hole-in-the-wall bar, and it just doesn't get any better than that. listening to an acoustic version of 'Send Me On My Way' with 150 of your closest friends. you make the call. the whole night felt like a Milwaukee's Best commercial. this guy is one of the best acoustic guitar players of our generation. to see him in such a small, intimate setting is an experience everyone should enjoy at some time in their life.

3. Ryan Adams - New Daisy Theatre - Memphis, TN - 09.14.04
i didn't join the Ryan Adams bandwagon until recently. i had heard some of his work before, but had yet to take the time to really check into his musical catalogue. when i heard he was coming to Memphis, and playing the New Daisy of all places, i got tix in a heartbeat. number one: this guy just doesn't play Memphis, TN. number two: this guy just doesn't play small venues like the New Daisy. the Orpheum? maybe. but not the New Daisy Theatre. the show was packed with what seemed like every hipster from here to Nashville. normally that would totally turn me away from a show, but the music made up for the BS in the crowd. highlight of the night..."Come Pick Me Up" and the stage setup during that song. see the photo for what i'm talking about, man.

2. The Strokes - House of Blues / RiverStages - Myrtle Beach, SC / Nashville, TN - 03.12.04 / 05.02.04
The Strokes are my favorite current band. for many reasons. but one of the biggest reasons is their live show, and the energy they bring to it. you do not attend a Strokes show. you become a part of a Strokes show. when they announced their most recent tour, i vowed to attend at least five shows. while that didn't happen, i did see them three times. the first was in Myrtle Beach at the House of Blues. long drive. very long drive. my friend, Kendra, and i met some cool people and had a great night. oh, and there was a Gwendolyn, which always makes for good times (you'll have to figure that one out for yourself). the last time i saw the Strokes was at RiverStages in Nashville. i have a scar on my right leg from the show. it was that good. one of the highlights... Julian stealing the video camera and filming Albert's guitar solo. also, the mid concert pee break. if you're not going to Strokes shows, well, baby, you just don't need to be going to shows at all.

1. Secret Machines - Hi-Tone - Memphis, TN - 09.27.04
most of you have probably never heard of the Secret Machines and that's where the problem begins. this show at the Hi-Tone was one of the best nights of the year. Memphis rarely draws up and coming bands, while they are still playing small clubs. this was one of those cases, and there was no way in hell i would miss this show. these guys walked in, unannounced, with no fanfare, did their thing for about an hour, then left. when the lights were brought back up, you could see everyone looking at one another with blank stares. the show was an experience. one that no one in attendance that night will soon forget. see this band now. travel as far as you have to. run, fly, swim, bike, whatever. just do it. nothing else matters.
.....

Best Films of 2004
good movies make the world go round. there were quite a few good films released this year, which made compiling this list a little difficult. here goes...

5. Before Sunset (Warner Independent Pictures)
anything Richard Linklater releases, i will run out to see. that's just a fact of life. i loved Before Sunrise when it was released during my junior year of high school, back in January, 1995. i can safely say that i never expected a sequel, but i'm glad Linklater, Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy decided to make one. it was nice to see what happened to Jesse and Celine. these two feel like personal friends, instead of characters in a movie, which is a product of the amazing writing. job well done, all the way round.

4. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
(Focus Films)
you may find it hard to believe, but i prefer Jim Carrey in serious roles as opposed to his normal comedic ventures. i loved The Truman Show, but as much as i liked that film, i liked this one even more. i was familiar with Michel Gondry's work on music videos (see 'Fell in Love with a Girl' by the White Stripes) , and this script, by the always amazing Charlie Kaufman, was a great match for his first feature film. Carrey, Gondry, Kaufman... how could you go wrong with that combo? add in one of the best performances by Kate Winslet and Mark Ruffalo, and you get more than you paid for. this movie felt like someone recorded one of my dreams, then played it back to me in the morning. repeat viewings are a must.

3. Friday Night Lights (Universal Pictures)
high school football in the South is its own religion. never is that more apparent than in the state of Texas. i'd heard about this book many years ago (i've recently ordered it from Amazon.com and plan to read) and immediately became elated at the news of the film adaptation. i was skeptical of Peter Berg's ability to do the film justice, but with this kind of material and cast, it would have been hard to screw up. i thought Lucas Black delivered one of the strongest performances. i enjoy most of Black's work. he's from north Alabama, and according to most interviews, has one desire in life... to be a professional bass fisherman. how great is that? the first movie casting call i attended was in Tupelo, MS, for a Kevin Costner film called The War. Black was at that same casting call, got a part in the film, and the rest... well, you know the rest. he's a big inspiration for guys like me.

2. Garden State (Fox Searchlight)
Zach Braff, best known for his role on NBCs Scrubs, stars in Garden State. Zach Braff wrote Garden State. Zach Braff directed Garden State. Zach Braff wrote, directed and starred in a great film. this, in and of itself, is a great accomplishmet. figure it the fact that it's his first venture into feature films, and it becomes that more astonishing. Natalie Portman, well, she's not too bad herself, but my favorite performance was that of Peter Sarsgaard (amazing actor, check him out now). this film was great all the way round. no flaws. i loved the story of a guy returning to his hometown after many years, meeting random strangers, just hanging out, and in the end, discovering what he wants out of life and where his own personal direction. also, the soundtrack is not half bad either. by the way, it says BALLS on your face.

1. Napoleon Dynamite (Fox Searchlight)
"Last week, Japanese scientists explaced... placed explosive detonators at the bottom of Lake Loch Ness to blow Nessie out of the water. Sir Godfrey of the Nessie Alliance summoned the help of Scotland's local wizards to cast a protective spell over the lake and its local residents and all those who seek for the peaceful existence of our underwater ally. "
do i even need to say anything further about this film? it was easily the best movie i've seen in years. it makes me want to join FFA and the Happy Hands Club. it makes me go around saying things like "Yessss" and "Gosh!" it makes me want to go back to 1982, when i could throw a pigskin a quarter mile. finally, it makes me want to chat online with babes all freak'n day. peace out.
.....

Best Films of 2004 (jag DIDN'T see)
it seems like i missed more good films than i actually saw this past year. that sucks. i don't encourage that behavior upon anyone.

5. Super Size Me (SG Films)
i have many friends who swear this is the best documentary they've ever seen. no thank you, Fahrenheit 9/11. the concept seems very interesting, and according to Howard Stern, it will make you never want to eat at McDonalds again. or any other fast food, for that matter. i'm a pretty big fan of the Chicken McNuggets, but who knows, that may not last long after viewing this one.

4. The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou
(Buena Vista Films)
i enjoy Wes Anderson films (Rushmore, The Royal Tenenbaums) as much as the next guy (maybe not that much, but they're good). i enjoy Bill Murray even more. i had begun to doubt Murray's ability in his most recent film work, then Lost in Translation changed that thought in maybe two seconds ("for relaxing times, make it Santori time"). Bill Murray playing a Jacques Cousteau type character... yes, please.

3. Grand Theft Parsons
(Warner Independent Pictures)
a friend introduced me to the music of Gram Parsons and the Flying Burrito Brothers a few years ago. that friend was a huge Ryan Adams fan, who is a huge Gram Parsons fan. i'm a huge fan of both of those guys, but an even bigger fan of Johnny Knoxville. what is there not to like about Mr. Jackass? i remember hearing about this film while it was in production, then no news about its theatrical release, and now, all of the sudden, it's on DVD. Parsons had a desire to be buried in Joshua Tree National Park and expressed this wish to his friend/road manager (played by Knoxville). this film follows his friend, as he steals Parsons body and attempts to fulfill his buddy's dying wish. the film was a favorite at last year's Sundance Film Festival. that's always a good sign.

2. Sideways (Fox Searchlight)
how can you go wrong with Lowell from Wings and Pig Vomit from Private Parts? you can't. i'm sorry i missed this film. very sorry.

1. I ♥ Huckabees (Fox Searchlight)
i saw the trailer for this film before Garden State, and immediately looked to my friend. we both nodded and agreed this was a must see. i really did have strong intentions to see I ♥ Huckabees the weekend it opened in Memphis, but that didn't happen. i don't have a good reason. most, if not all, independent films are only shown at the Studio on the Square, and often times i have trouble getting my friends to drive that far for a movie. lame excuse, i know, but i gotta blame it on something. Dustin Hoffman's hair was right on in this one. check it out.
.....

so ends the year in review. i'm terribly sorry for the delay in getting this posted, but i did put a lot of time/sweat/effort/tears into the lists. now this is the part where you comment, maybe even adding some of your own ideas to the categories above. go crazy. also, there may be a few 'worst of' lists appear soon for some of the same categories. at my current rate, i should have those compiled by June or July. don't hold your breath.

call cannot be completed as dialed.

2005-01-04T13:07:00.000-06:00

i apologize for the recent downtime. according to my brother, i need to be here for my fans. all three of them. in my defense, my computer decided to attempt death this weekend. not so much attempt as it was me attempting to kill it. never try to upgrade Windows ME to Windows 2000. it just won't work, and i learned that lesson the hard way. also, when you make this attempted upgrade, with software you downloaded online, never call the almighty Microsoft for assistance. they don't like that. the Microsoft lady asked me for some information on the upgrade CD. i advised that info may not help much since it's a burned disc, and it says nothing. that led us to a discussion of pirating vs. borrowing that lasted for oh maybe ten minutes. good debate and i felt better afterwards. you know you're getting somewhere when after you present your case, the person on the other end of the line has absolutely nothing to say in reply. according to old episodes of Matlock, that's a win, baby!

everything appears to be normal with the computer now, only that i'm running Windows XP from this point forward. i tried it before, didn't like it, but now i'm stuck with it. blah. i guess i need to embrace the change since it's out of my hands.

check back tonight or something for my much anticipated (stop laughing) Top Five lists for 2004, and random New Years news... or lack thereof.

in the meantime, listen to the mp3s to the right, and post some feedback. this is a two way street, y'know. just cause i gots the keys to this ride don't mean you don't have a say. yeah.

new feature, same great taste.

2004-12-29T11:56:00.000-06:00

in an effort to evolve the page (not sure why), i added some mp3s on the right, under the 'Tunes' section. i'll be rotating songs into this spot on a monthly basis, consisting of tunes i'm currently listening to, or tunes that strike an interest, or just tunes that i feel you need to hear. if i can't find anything that fits that description, i'll post some rare Def Leppard or Gerardo. 'Sigo Siendo Rico', anyone?

most importantly, right click on the file, and choose 'Save As...'. that's the only rule for the music. this allows you to download the song to your computer, and listen whenever you want. keep it simple.

in the first batch of tunes is a track by the Walkmen. i've been listening to them rather religiously lately. can't get enough. their sound seems to be a cross between the Strokes, Beck and in a strange way, Jeff Buckley. these are three of my favorite artists, so i assume it was just a matter of time before i found and began enjoying the music of the Walkmen. the only thing that bothers me is that i heard they were included on the most recent OC soundtrack, which brings to mind images of the Peach Pit and Brian Austin Green... neither of which are good things.

well, it's the end of the year, and that only means one thing. it's time for the 'best of 2004' lists from anyone and everyone. i'm collecting my notes, checking them thrice, and should have a few 'best ofs' for your reading pleasure in the next day or two.

i know this makes you giddy with excitement.
enough already. you're embarrassing me.

it's been your pleasure,
Chest Rockwell

all dogs go to heaven.

2004-12-27T13:19:00.000-06:00

when i got home for Christmas, i learned that my last childhood dog died last week. i say it was my dog, but she's been more of my parent's dog for a majority of her life, yet i was the person that picked her out and took her in, so for argument's sake, we'll say she was my dog.

my parents and i couldn't remember the exact year we got the dog, but it was sometime during my 7th (1990) or 8th (1991) grade school year. yeah, she lived a long life and it showed. someone once told me that 13 years for a dog was equal to 99 human years. i'm not sure that equation carries much weight, but i do know that 13/14 years is definitely a long life for a dog. she was the Methuselah of the neighborhood.

the dog was a mutt (the best breed), about a foot tall, and solid black. as she aged, her coat turned white, and it looked as though she would eventually turn from solid black to solid white. she appeared to be some sort of terrier mix, but no one ever really knew for sure. then again, no one ever seemed to be concerned with what 'kind' she might have been. she was our dog... that was all that mattered.

i haven't mentioned the dog's name because she never really had one. we never got around to naming her. we just referred to her as 'our dog' or 'the dog'. the last few years i've been calling her 'Piggy', due to her short, stubby, pudgy build, but the name never became official or anything, not that dog names ever do. 'Piggy' seemed like a good name for a hyper animal with tons of energy, and she definitely fit that description. she always had a smile on her face, which may sound strange. some people don't think dogs can smile, and i admit the thought of a dog smiling DOES seem a little strange, but this dog was definitely smiling... ear to ear. why not? she had it good. most dogs do.

the dog had tons of personality, too. my parents told me about how she reacted each and every time they went out of town for an extended time. apparently the dog had some kind of sixth sense, and could figure out they were about to leave. my dad said the dog would sit in the driveway, her back turned and facing the opposite direction, while they loaded the car. she would not acknowledge them in any way. when they returned, she'd remained with her back turned. she also wouldn't eat, but only for that first day. after that, she would go back to normal... eating, smiling and roaming about the yard. i guess this was all her way of telling my parents that she really didn't appreciate them leaving her home alone. maybe she had desires to go with them, hang her head out the window and see the world. we'll never know.

the dog will be missed, even though most of the time no one really knew she was there.

hope everyone had a happy holiday.

it's been your pleasure,
Chest Rockwell

¡Feliz Navidad, cabritos!

2004-12-23T12:13:00.000-06:00

dude, three inches.

2004-12-22T23:06:00.000-06:00

it snowed this afternoon, just in time for Christmas. well, not so much snow, but hail and sleet. a co-worker corrected me and advised that it only hails in the spring, and that what would be considered hail in the fall/winter is actually sleet. i'm not so sure. i feel that it did a little more than sleet today. to compromise, we'll just say it wintry mixed. yeah, that works.

my normal thirty to forty-five minute drive home turned into a little over two and a half hours thanks to the wintry mix. i literally never got above five miles per hour. walking would have been a better option, AND saved gas. the fact that i was able to leave work early, but arrived home later than normal caused for a sad situation. it's like someone gave me a present, but when i opened it up it was a half eaten donut or some mismatched socks. but on the bright side, it looks like we get a snow day from work tommorrow. now if i can only find a large piece of cardboard, some Pam cooking spray and killer hill. it's sleddin' time, boys and girls!

i heard on the radio today that at some point during all this weather chaos there were forty accidents on the interstate alone. that, my friends, is a new level of ridiculous. the Bluff City has its fair share of quality drivers. lots of Dale Jrs on the road these days. most of them even have a tag that expired somewhere between three and eight years ago. Memphis, Tennessee... a driver's paradise!

it's been your pleasure,
Chest Rockwell

dukes of shelby county.

2004-12-21T14:36:00.000-06:00

at some point during the 80s, one of the fast food chains released a plastic cup promotion¹ featuring characters from the Dukes of Hazzard. my family was a huge fan of the show, therefore we had the entire set, and duplicates of some. while looking in the mirror earlier, i realized that the shirt i have on today was the exact same shirt Bo Duke wore on the cup. in case you didn't know, it's the little things that matter in life.

¹ according to Corndog's Dukes of Hazzard page the cups were released by McDonald's in 1982. he still has one if you need to see it. why do i have the feeling i'm related to Corndog?

it's been your pleasure,
Chest Rockwell

you got serb'd.

2004-12-21T11:18:00.000-06:00

the Dophins beat the Patriots last night. wait, the Dolphins STUNNED the Patriots last night. that's more like it.

this is great/wonderful/marvelous and without a doubt, excellent. you gotta love it when a horrible team beats a better team, especially when that great team is the Patriots, and especially when that great team has won so many consecutive games in a row. how can anyone like the Patriots? i mean, come on, they're the Patriots.

i really love when an underdog pulls one out, especially during the closing minutes of a game. to say the Dolphins were an underdog is a slight understatement. everyone, football fans and non-football fans, have written them off this season. i'm sure Dan Marino would love to slap all the players in the face with his Isotoner gloves, if given the time. in simple terms, they suck.

but not last night. oh no. they took it to Tom Brady and his mighty Patriots. yes, Tom Brady. this guy has WAY too much going for him in life. did he have to come in, win the starting quarterback position during his rookie year, and lead his team to a Superbowl victory? does he have to be considered the most 'GQ' and stylish player in the NFL? must everyone love this guy, especially the lady folk, claiming he is the perfect man, on and off the field? (according to Jesse Palmer, he's no bachelor.)

i like to see people like Tom Brady fail. that's not to say i'm a bad person or anything (maybe i am, the jury is still out) but when someone has as much going for them as Mr. Brady, it's nice to see them held in check, pulled down from their pedestal, every now and then. guys like Tom Brady need creepy people to follow them at all times, like Cruise had in Eyes Wide Shut (great movie, by the way). they need these 'watchmen' as a simple means of keeping them grounded, keeping the ego to a tolerable level. watching him unleash interception after interception last night was classic. and the look on his face immediately after the game... all i can say is Sports Illustrated, please tell me you got that shot. i loved it so much that i high fived the dog! ...twice!!

it's been your pleasure,
Chest Rockwell

observation of the day: december.20.2004

2004-12-20T22:02:00.000-06:00

bjork is definitely considered a sexy lass.

however, females who dig bjork are never sexy lasses.

it's been your pleasure,
Chest Rockwell

fast forward to the good parts.

2004-12-20T11:38:00.000-06:00

the past few days have been celebrated as movie weekend at my place. not by choice, but more out of necessity. being a few hundy down in the ol' checking account bring sabout desperate measures. then again, i've always been somewhat into balancing my schedule. i have no money management skills. i'll say it again... i have no money management skills. if there is a class out there for this matter, please point me to the door because i needs to sign up.

Friday, i watched Thirteen and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Thirteen made me sick. there was nothing postive to take from the viewing experience. i understand one of the 13 year old actors in the film actually wrote the script, and as much as i want this to impress me, it doesn't. if i want to see kids being punks, i can go to the mall. my friend Russ had recently mentioned this movie. now i'll mention it to you. don't waste your time and move on down the line.

on the other hand, Eternal... was great, but what Charlie Kaufman scripted film isn't an instant classic? i really dig Jim Carrey in serious roles (i.e. The Truman Show). almost more than his comedic performances, and that's saying a lot. for his first effort in directing a full length film, Michel Gondry hit a homerun. no, wait, make that a grand damn slam! also, i enjoyed Mark Ruffalo and his horn-rimmed glasses. he's been in some other recent films lately, but i'm drawing a blank on the names. a very good up and coming actor. is it just me or is Kirsten Dunst itching to be nude in a movie? first Crazy/Beautiful, then the 'wet' Spiderman scenes, and now Eternal. what gives? Kirsten's mother needs to shake her fist.

Yesterday, i watched Saved!, and i loved every satirical minute of it. it reminded of the various church camps i attended as a kid. at some point in time at those camps, i met every character from this film. youth ministers, and young pastors for that matter, just don't get kids these days for the most part. Saved! should be standard viewing for all religious figures, young and old, as an instructional tool on how NOT to handle youth and young adults. on top of all that, it's a great film.

Saved! also helped settle the internal argument i've been going over of haircut or no haircut. check out Macauley Culkin in the prom scenes for the verdict.

other movies watched last week, in no particular order... Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King: Extended Edition (yes, all fifteen hours), The United States of Leland (good indie film), 9 to 5 (Dolly in her prime, and stop laughing at me... no really, stop), Before Sunset (again) and parts of Once Upon a Time in Mexico (real blah, no substance, and a waste of Depp's talent).

Napolean Dynamite comes out on DVD tommorrow. anyone who owns a DVD player (that's all of us, right?) should be forced to purchse this DVD or surrender their player immediately. to not buy this DVD is to own an 8 track player and not have Billy Joel's 'The Stranger'. in other words, it's a definite no no.

then, a week later, Garden State will be released on DVD. you should be forming a line at your local DVD retailer right now.

carry on.

it's been your pleasure,
Chest Rockwell

Timmy B: Big Man of the Year.

2004-12-17T14:11:00.000-06:00

i hate Tim Brando. not that there was any question to his status as a complete tool, he had to go and trash Ole Miss on his beloved Tim Brando Show the other day. no, he didn't join the long list of media types in discussing his problems with our new head coach, the hiring process that brought him and the firing of David Cutcliffe. he had to go further than that. Brando totally trashed the university, administration, city of Oxford AND southern people in general. hmmmm. i was unaware Shreveport, LA (Brando's home, born and raised) was not a part of the South. i've heard that is was called the armpit of Louisiana. according to most maps i've seen Louisiana is a Southern state. but i guess in Brando's mind, it's in the Midwest, or maybe Texas. who knows. regardless, how do you defend your position as a 'respected' sports journalist when you stoop to mocking an entire town AND an entire state of people? no wonder ESPN fired him back in the day.

the reality is that Brando holds a grudge against Ole Miss. he's a big time LSU fan, where his daughter currently attends. since LSU and Ole Miss are long time rivals, he obviously shares no interest in anything positive for the Rebels. however, last time i checked, sports journalism was supposedly unbiased and somewhat professional. not with Big Timmy B, baby!

a few years back, Brando hosted an SEC radio talk show, Conference Call, with Scott McKinney, Terry Bowden and a few others. McKinney and Brando started the show, but apparently in Brando's eyes, the show was all his. everything and everyone else was secondary. McKinney and the others left the show due to his arrogance, and McKinney began Southern Sports Tonight. Brando was left to run Conference Call on his on (which he wanted from day one) and it failed miserably. in a matter of months it was off the air. before this little business venture, McKinney was the Sports Information Director at Ole Miss. it's safe to say that Brando and McKinney are not friends, far from it. it's also safe to say that Brando has a hard time alienating his hatred for McKinney with his hatred for Ole Miss. they are one in the same.

Big Timmy B... what a guy!

it's been your pleasure,
Chest Rockwell

C.E.O.

2004-12-16T10:37:00.000-06:00

finally, a new man in charge. as i type, Ole Miss is introducing their new head football coach, Ed Orgeron, thus ending the soap opera that has been this coaching search. it's about time. i feel this is a good hire. the man has never been a head coach before, but his recruiting credentials and defensive knowledge, coupled with his fire and passion on the sideline, should bring brighter, sunnier days to Oxford. Orgeron will be a definite 180 from Cutcliffe, and that's a good thing. but don't cry or mourn for Cut, he's now the Offensive Coordinator for Notre Dame. that should last him oh... say... maybe two... three years tops.

you gotta hear Orgeron talk. the guy sounds like he's been eating rocks his whole life. it's as though he has a muffler attached to his larynx or something. maybe he has a Hemi under the engine. definitely a great coach voice. on top of all that, he's Cajun, which means if you piss him off, he will whip your ass, by God! he's probably wrestled alligators bigger than you and i. lastly, he's known to refer to his players as gorillas. yes, i said gorillas.

rumor has it that we got a commitment this morning from Bobby Boucher.

i'm almost done with all my Christmas shopping. as mentioned before, my family likes to circulate lists, making the whole gift guessing game a lot easier. the only rule to the list is no Isotoner gloves. don't even think about it. keep moving.

Glover and i spent some time in the Wolfchase on Saturday. of course it was packed, but that only makes for better people watching. Christmas time is the best time of year for people watching. there are folks who only get out during this time of year. why? because if they want Mama to buy them the Dale Earnhardt Jr. steaknife set, they've got to get her a gift in return. she's no damn fool.

there were all walks of life at the Wolfchase on this day. i mean that, literally. with that observation, there are some people out there that i just don't get. what's up with the guys who spend tons and tons of time getting dressed, primped, whatever, just to attain a look that they just rolled out of bed? where is the logic in that? i'm gonna spend three hours trying to look like i did when i just woke up. hmmm. i have an idea. when you get out of bed, put on your clothes and leave the house. you'll get the same outcome. these guys make me wonder. really, they do.

also, people take their position in the checkout line way too serious during the holidays. i saw this lady almost dropkick a guy because it seemed like he was gonna break line. he didn't actually pass her, mind you, he merely came too close to the line, evoked the image of possibly joining the line in front of the lady, therefore bring out her rage. call me sick or whatever, but i honestly wanted to see them get down and go at it. i could have been Mean Gene and commentated (is that even a word?) the whole thing. however, when someone pulled the strap down Jerry Lawler style, it would all be over. don't mess with a man after he's pulled the strap down. that's a line you do NOT cross, buddy.

as you can tell, i picked up a few items for myself during the shopping session. this marks the second year in a row that i've bought new kicks while Christmas shopping. in case you didn't know, green is the new black.

even though the election may be over, i still feel the need to express my loyal support for Don Vito. he's gonna totally take the office in 2008. mark my word. DV the President t-shirts and bumper stickers are being made at this very moment.

finally, license and registration, please ma'am. have you seen this boy? have you seen John Conner?

it's been your pleasure,
Chest Rockwell

it's not going to stop til you wise up.

2004-12-14T17:49:00.000-06:00

i'd like to go on record by stating that a majority of Memphis people missed the best acoustic show this city has ever seen Friday night. Michael Glabicki (of Rusted Root) literally ignited the stage and floored everyone... myself, my friends Glover and Jay, included. i'd never been to the Full Moon Club (and didn't realize it was the upstairs of Zinnie's East), but it was nice to see a great show in a place not much larger than Cheers. you know, the place where everyone knows your name and is always glad you came. all 200 hundred or so in attendance were definitely glad Mr. Glabicki came. if you missed it, you suck. it's as simple as that. now go hang your head in shame.

.....

after my Boogie Nights addiction last week (don't tell anyone, but i watched it again Thursday night), i decided to revisit another Paul Thomas Anderson film. Magnolia. for those who are listening, PTA is the best director of our generation. his work is very limited (Hard Eight, Boogie Nights, Magnolia, Punch-Drunk Love) but he has a definite style and vision for his films that seperates them from most other young Hollywood directors. if you are unfamiliar, then i'd say it's time to either join Netflix or go to Blockbuster. as for Magnolia, it'd been since at least 2000 since i'd last seen this gem. the movie revolves around nine different people in various emotional states and interacting stories, weighing the question of coincidence or fate or chance. it's also the movie where the frogs fall from the sky like rain. but what makes Magnolia for me is the dialogue, specifically that of John C. Reilly (did someone say underrated?) and Tom Cruise, as Frank T.J. Mackey. Cruise was nominated for an Academy Award in this one, as was the original screenplay and one of the songs. all should have won. Frank T.J. Mackey is the greatest motivational speaker ever captured on film. sorry, Tony Robbins. you've been had.

the movie is nearly three days long, so i'll understand if most of you have never sat thru the whole thing, but you have to at least go back and revisit one scene. if not for me, do it for yourself. about two and half hours in, PTA pulls the whole movie together with the song, 'Wise Up' by Aimee Mann (her music in the film is incredible). during the song, all the primary characters sing the lines as they contemplate their current situations. the song brings everyone together, and reminds me of the 'Tiny Dancer' sequence from Almost Famous (another great scene). so if you can't handle all of Magnolia, at least check out this part on the DVD. it won't hurt. promise.

.....

Survivor: Vanuatu came to an end on Sunday night. my favorite didn't win (she'll be a lock for the next All-Stars edition...you can write that down), but she held her own and made it to the final four. Chris outlasted all the ladies and took home the loot. the outcome of the final tribal council pales in comparison to the big story. did you guys get a glimpse of Twila's mullet? man, oh man, it was quite possibly the best mullet on TV ever. Uncle Jesse from the early years of Full House is a close second. (have mercy.) Twila's do was like a finely combed horse's mane. you could definitely tell she put some time and effort into crafting this little number. i mean this was live national television, by God! the mullet was so great, in fact, that she could have easily been mistaken for one of my relatives from Hickory Flat, Mississippi. maybe i need to extend her an invitation to this year's Christmas gathering.

.....

speaking of Christmas, everyone's family has traditions around the holiday season. with our extended family, every year, right after the kids have opened all their gifts, there's a nice karaoke session of the great Oak Ridge Boys hit, 'Elvira'. everyone included. and i do mean everyone. it wouldn't be Christmas without the "giddy up oom poppa omm poppa mow mow" echoeing throughout this little white house on the farm.

man, you gotta love holiday traditions in the South.

it's been your pleasure,
Chest Rockwell

those high school girls...

2004-12-10T11:18:00.000-06:00

it's amazing how many folks are coming to this website after running a search on Matthew McConaughey and Stetson. apparently the commercials are creating quite the buzz. while here, those same people can check out another video of McConaughey. a video also featuring yours truly. i was fortunate enough to attend the ten year anniversary party for Dazed and Confused in May of 2003. it was, quite possibly, the coolest thing i've ever attended. click the image for clips of the event. alright, alright, alright...

event: Michael Glabicki (lead singer, Rusted Root) acoustic show
venue: Full Moon Club (1718 Madison)
date: 10p tonight
cost: 10 bucks

that's all the info needed. you know what to do with it.

it's been your pleasure,
Chest Rockwell

angels live in my town.

2004-12-08T21:14:00.000-06:00

have you seen this show on MTV, Laguna Beach? i unfortunately saw two episodes today. i'd love that hour of my life back, but it's not gonna happen. they label this trash as 'the real Orange County' in an effort to prove The OC is fairly close to reality. minus the catfights and illegitimate children, of course. i don't see who would want to watch a show depicting the lives of rich kids from Southern California whose most important decision of the day is what goes with this skirt better, Louis Vuitton or Gucci?

however, i do have a proposal for the programming folks at MTV behind LB and other shows. instead of having Johnny Knoxville show up on Viva La Bam for pranks with Bam and the guys, let him guest star on LB and pick on the kiddies. also, we should have Xzibit and the West Coast Customs crew pimp a few rides of the kids in the LB. of course they would do this without telling them, kind of like While You Were Out on TLC. oh man, i can see it now...

on the next Laguna Beach, will Talan be accepted to UCLA after last week when Johnny Knoxville had the word TALLEYWHACKER tattooed on his forehead? also, the prom is coming up and Kristin hopes to be voted prom queen. will she get all her friend's votes now that her Hummer H2 is neon orange, with eighteen TV monitors, green racing stripes, four 12" subwoofers and a stripper pole? find out next Tuesday on the 10 Spot.

speaking of MTV, i saw a little bit of TRL today. and before you ask, i have no idea why. there's a serious lack of quality programming in the afternoon. Judge Judy is not as good as it used to be, folks. anyway, one of the guests today was this R&B singer named Mario. apparently he has been out of the music scene since 2002. the VJs asked him what's been up, and his reply was that he took some time off to, you know, let his voice change.

i'm sorry, dude, but i'm gonna have to steal that line. it's the best way to blow someone off when you really don't feel like answering their question.

Friend: hey man, where were at last night?
You: sorry, dawg, i was laying around the crib taking some time off. you know, for my voice to change and all.
Friend: right on, yo. i feel you.

i watched Boogie Nights again last night. if it were on again tonight, i'd do the same. as you can tell, i REALLY dig this movie. that's all i'm saying. the scene where Dirk Diggler meets Reed Rothchild is pure gold. any of their scenes are instant classics, but this one stands out. i often find myself having the same conversations with my friends regarding my workout regimen, and how much i bench. everyone should realize by now that our character in life is judged by the amount of weight we can bench press. it's just one of lifes little secrets. though not from that scene, here's one of my favorite Rothchild quotes...

"Want to hear a poem I wrote? 'I love you, you love me. Going down the sugar tree. We'll go down the sugar tree, and see lots of bees: playing, playing. But the bees won't sting, because you love me.' That's it."

also, i forgot to touch on the soundtrack before. i have an affinity for anything rooted in the 70s, so i'm more than likely biased. nonetheless, the music in this movie is top notch. i could listen to 'Brand New Key' every morning. as a matter of fact, i might begin that trend tommorrow. it could only help get the day started in the right direction. pick the soundtrack up at a music store near you and do the same. both volumes.

it's time for a game. we're gonna find out what everyone's porn name would be, just in case they decide it's time for a career change. you never know when those feelings might come about. anyway, here's how the game works... take any name of a pet you've had during your life. this will be your first name. now, take the name of any street you've ever lived on and this will be your last name. put them together and comment them on this post. using my current living situation, my name would be... Sam Ultragreen. it's an alright name, but i'm just not so sure it screams neon lights. now it's your turn.

it's been your pleasure,
Chest Rockwell

someone fetch my smoking jacket.

2004-12-07T22:41:00.000-06:00

tired + cool night + tense + playboy lifestyle + beer = hot tub.

also known by all lovahs as the hottub.

Sheryl Crow has her Tuesday Night Music Club, and tonight i began my Tuesday Night Sounds Alright For Some Hot Tub Club. yeah. you may register at your local Vicky Secrets (because that's where the classy folk hang). one membership per household.

.....

letting people down is something i strive every day not to do. in fact, i hate it. there is no worse way to get under my skin than to let me down. whether it be cancelled plans, or just an overall lack of 'being there'. if i've ever done this to you, then i apologize now, but understand it was not my intention, and more than likely it was a situation out of my hands. as a matter of fact, if needed, i try and go out of my way NOT to let other people down. it's a constant thought. nothing has really sparked this tangent, just something i wanted to share. this is not a hard concept to grasp. it takes little to no thought. and i promise, in the end, it WILL make you a better person. not that i'd know anything about that.

take it to the limit... one more time.

it's been your pleasure,
Chest Rockwell

pinch me and i'll know you're real.

2004-12-05T22:55:00.000-06:00

if you're paying any kind of attention whatsoever, you'll know that i'm a fan of Survivor (i will be on the show one day, wait and see). the only other reality show i watch on any kind of consistent basis is The Real World. everyone else i know watches them all. from The Apprentice (Trump is the Anti-Christ, and yes, it's the hair) all the way down to Joe Schmo or whatever.

Friday afternoon i called into Survivor Live, an internet talk show on CBS.com each Thursday and Friday. the guest of the day was Ami Cusack, the girl voted out on the last show. anyway, check it out by clicking the image below (click WATCH NOW, then 12.03.04 - Part 2). they take my call about four or five minutes in and no, there's not a fast forward button.

after talking to my friend, Rossetti, tonight, it came to my attention that we may need to set some rules for the ol' webpage. we've gone over this before, but maybe it needs to be said again. if you come to the page, leave a note somewhere showing that you were here. there are options of commenting on a specific post, or leaving a message on the tagboard. both work and both work well. you have to treat this website as though it's my house, because in so many ways it is (that subject will not be touched tonight). now, would you ever walk into your friend's house, when they were not at home, and exit without leaving a note? i don't think so, but for some, you never know. by not commenting and such, it's as though you've come into my house, used my toilet, laid on my bed, watched my TV, drank from my milk carton, gone thru my underwear drawer, used my deodarant... all of the above and then some, yet didn't find it necessary to let me know you were even there. that's putting me in a situation to wear dirty underwear or drink backwashed milk, neither being something i care to do. so show some love, and leave a trail, no matter if you know me or not. that's not important. and if you come here everyday (not that anyone does that, but again, you never know) it doesn't mean you have to comment every day. just every once in awhile. if this continues to be a problem, i'm gonna have to hire a butler. i've heard Mr. Belvedere needs the work. his pension checks have been lacking in recent years. if i can't track him down, there's always Benson or Tony Macelli.

it's been your pleasure,
Chest Rockwell

feel, feel, feel... feel my heat.

2004-12-05T16:18:00.000-06:00

curse HBO and their affinity towards playing really good movies, really late at night. people around here need to get some sleep, you know. but for whatever reason, the HBO scheduling department likes to torment me. it's late and i'm all ready to go to bed, but have to make that last round clicking the channels, as if to verify nothing is on and it's ok to shut her down and get some shuteye. we all do it. but i must stop, since HBO obviously does not respect my daily sleep requirement.

this is the same situation most face with MTV these days. music videos are only played either late at night or during the day, when you are at school or work. thanks, programming department. expect a nice ham in a few weeks for Christmas.

anyway, last week it was Innerspace. then last night it was Boogie Nights. i love Boogie Nights. it is one of my top five favorite films of all time. most people don't understand the film, and quickly cast it aside as a 'nudey' movie about porn. using the same philosophy, those people would cast of Pulp Fiction as a 'druggie' movie about nothing. living the sheltered life is not working. it's time to broaden the old horizons.

one of the great things about Boogie Nights is the grand performance by the entire cast... Burt Reynolds, Luis Guzman, Philip Seymour Hofman (who happens to be one of the most underrated actors working today), Thomas Jane, Alfred Molina, William H. Macy, Don Cheadle, Heather Graham, and of course, the Chinese kid with the firecrackers. furthermore, Mark Whalberg and John C. Reilly give performances of a lifetime. this was the film that sold me on Whalberg as an actor. before, he was just the former rapper known for "come on, come on, feel it, feel it, feel the vibration" and wearing only his Calvins on billboards across the country. not Oscar worthy work, to say the least. but with Boogie Nights, he turned the page, and nailed the part. critics began taking him and his work seriously, which was a definite step in the right direction.

John C. Reilly as Reed Rothchild steals the show for me. if you have any desire to be an actor, watch John C. Reilly. on observation alone, he can teach you in one scene, what most classes or books can't teach you in weeks, months or years. as a tribute to his work in this film, i'm changing my name for the remainder of December. please refer to me as Chest Rockwell from this point forward. what a name. i hope only to do it justice.

i broke a pact on Friday night. a pact i had with myself and my respected friends. never did i think this day would come, but it did. and i stand before you, humbly, feeling less of a man and person. what is this disgrace, you ask?

i saw a Colin Farrell film.

go ahead with your ridicule and name calling. it is all deserving. my friends invited me to join then in watching Alexander. at first i expressed my opposition, and my personal pact, but they would hear none of each. the plan was to see the movie, and if i were a part of the plan, i must comply. and comply i did.

i'll admit, i wanted to like the movie. visually, it was absolutely stunning. of course i'm referring to the cinematography, but Angelina Jolie and Rosario Dawson (and her two supporting actors) didn't hurt in this department either. the battle seens were massive, invigorating, exciting, realistic, gory, intense... all that and more. the story was there, too. but, in the end, it just didn't work for me. Oliver Stone should have spent a little more time in the editing room. there are flashback scenes that are totally out of place. why did they go back and show Val Kilmer's death at the end, instead of including it in the normal progression of the storyline?. on top of that, the film is way too long. the guy behind us took what seemed like three naps (based on his snoring) and still walked out of the theater not missing much of the story.

these problems are secondary to the main issue. the gay theme is too much, and borders on ridiculous. i understand, according to historians, that Alexander was known to be bisexual and sometimes play around with his pals, but that's not the feeling you get from watching this movie. they present him in a way as to say that he really only loved men, and had women in his life only for the purpose of having a son, his heir to the throne. i was not aware that Jordan Catalano and Colin Farrell were dating. i wonder what Claire Danes has to say about all that. also, who would have known that a favorite pastime of male Greeks was to bend their brethren over, lift their skirt and give them a spanking? according to Mr. Stone, this must have been important. the theme just didn't work, and it distracted from the overall story. every time you saw two males sharing an intense scene, or any scene, it seemed like a matter of time before they locked lips. in turn, it was only a matter of time for all the guys in the audience to vomit in the aisle or cupholder. whichever was closer.

i guess now is as good a time for breaking this personal pact, seeing as how it's been reported Mr. Farrell will be starring in the theatrical version of Miami Vice. but that's not to say i feel different for doing so. yesterday morning i was in the shower, vigorously scrubbing at my body and repeating to myself, "it won't come off, it won't come off." most say change is good. time will tell. time will also heal all wounds. let's just see about that.

it's been your pleasure,
Chest Rockwell

delayed reactions make good after dinner mints.

2004-12-02T22:11:00.000-06:00

ok, i've got an agenda tonight. a lot of things to get out on the table, and only a little time to do it. not that i have anywhere to go. i'm just into deadlines and stuff right now. 'have it on my desk by five or you're fired.' that kinda stuff.

ok. ready. set. go.

the Hives show was amazing. lots and lots of energy, which was expected. Howlin Pelle really knows how to lead a crowd, and he had this particular crowd in the palm of his hand. all night long.

but before any of that, the opening bands really set the tone for the night. first up were the Deadly Snakes, from Toronto, Canada. the lead singer looked like he should have been named Clint. don't ask me why, it's just the feeling i got. he could have doubled for John Waters as well. they had a really good sound, with a nice and rare addition of harmonica, saxophone and tamborine on most songs. again, i'm finding it hard to label them, so go listen for yourself. they were a good appetizer.

next up, the Rogers Sisters. unique. yeah. they SHOULD be called the Rogers Sisters and a Highly Energized Chinese Guy with Long Hair. that would be hard to fit onto an album cover, so we'll let them slide with just the Rogers Sisters for now. i was reminded of the Breeders. but only if the Breeders played shitty music. i don't know, i just wasn't feeling it. i'm not sure what type crowd they are trying to relate with. for the most part, they weirded me out. this is a hard thing to accomplish. the bass player was trying to be cool in a Lisa Loeb/robot kind of way. it didn't work.

The Reigning Sound is a band from Memphis. they were handpicked by the Hives to open this tour, and according to people in the know, they are the sole reason the Hives booked Memphis in the first place. (makes sense considering the Hives have no radio play whatsoever within a 300 mile radius of the Bluff City.) this was my first time seeing the Reigning Sound, and hopefully, will not be the last. think Wilco or Cracker with an adrenaline rush and you have the Reigning Sound. apparently they are highly praised in the garage rock music scene. now if they could just get some love and unseat Saliva as the most popular band out of Memphis right now, then everyone could be happy. and maybe dance. but not the Pentacostals. they don't dance. and they always wear long skirts. just an FYI, kiddos.

the Hives lit up the stage. really, they did. i went into this show expecting high energy. i got my money's worth. hell, i got your money's worth, and you weren't even there. many many publications have listed and applauded the Hives as 'the greatest live band on the planet.' even the Commercial Appeal got on the bandwagon and stated this last week. well, they were all correct in their assessment. this band knows what to do. they know how to do it. and they do it best. they have an aura of conceit, that found on any other band would be seen as a joke, but with the Hives, it fits them like a glove. Howlin Pelle struts around the stage, acting as if he's leading a large circus... or religious convention. seeing the Hives IS a religious experience. it's that in your face and intense. all they lack is a collection plate, benediction and choir. in due time. if you missed the show, i'm sorry. you should've been there, and by not being there, you should be punished. go to your room.

i have a sin to confess. i've been caught up in the Ole Miss coaching soap opera all week. most of the national media is criticizing Ole Miss for firing David Cutcliffe, one year removed from leading the Rebs to their best season in 40 years. yeah, that's the positive spin on the situation. everything else is negative. please rationalize this scenario: we had Eli Manning, arguably the best player in college football during his years at Ole Miss, and we could only pull one good season. no SEC championships. just a meaningless Western Division Co-Championship, that didn't include the trip to Atlanta. that's pathetic. absolutely pathetic. the conservative play calling is yet another thorn in the sides of the Ole Miss faithful. when you have the offensive units that Coach Cut has had, you don't sit on the ball, throw 2 yard outs, and keep the games close, just to try and eek out a victory in the 4th Quarter. what kind of philosophy is that? definitely not one that will keep you a coach for very long. especially a coach in the SEC. i wish Coach Cut well, but i don't feel like he's gonna get another shot at a major university. this was a one a done deal for him. welcome to the world of East Carolinas and Indianas and Troys. enjoy your stay.

the lineup for the 2005 Sundance Film Festival was announced on Monday. Memphis has two representatives this year, which i feel is an amazing feat in and of itself. hopefully Forty Shades of Blue and Hustle & Flow will receive a ton of positive press, thus directing more attention to Memphis from Hollywood. this is really good for the city. i'm proud. this can do nothing but good for the local film scene. i'm getting a little choked up just thinking about it. excuse me, talk amongst yourselves.

on the same topic of Memphis films, more pub this week for Walk the Line. this time found in the US edition of Vanity Fair. i really think this film will be amazing, but i must admit that Reese Witherspoon makes me feel sick. i've rarely been able to tolerate her films. don't even approach me to watch either of the Legally Blonde films. i will disown you in a heartbeat. word on the set was that she did a good job portraying June Carter Cash. and yes, she was one of the people fighting to have this film made in Tennessee. i don't care. i still don't like her. when i think about her, this image of a weasel looking smile comes to mind.

Jessica Simpson needs to be taken off television. her little 'hey i'm a cute dumb blonde and America loves me' routine has run its course. it's time for her to move on. she, like Reese, makes me sick. i've learned to feel sorry for Nick. yes, she's pretty, but there's just so much a guy can take before thoughts of slapping someone enter your head.

tonight while watching Survivor (my girlfriend is still in the mix, by the way) i saw quite possibly THE commercial of the year. Matthew McConaughey is the new spokesman for Stetson cologne...

this is the coolest thing ever. to think otherwise is to only kid yourself. the Stetson commercials have always had this laidback, hip image, but now they've outdone themselves. i'm not a big cologne wearer (blame this on my opinion that most, if not all, colognes make a guy smell cheap and, well, desperate for female attention) but this may all change. now if i can get Santa to bring me a cowboy hat and some leather chaps, i'll be set. giddy up.

cold as ice and not willing to sacrifice.

2004-12-01T22:01:00.000-06:00

i'm freezing my (insert body part here) off. no, really... i am. these last few days have been torture around the house. i get up in the morning, leave the warm comforts of my bed, and enter what feels like a damn meat locker. this ruins my entire day, because i'm one of those people who the overall tone of the day is set in the first few moments of the morning, right after waking up and getting out of bed. maybe that's a strange philosphy to have, but whatever, it's always worked for me. anyway, since i live with my brother, i have no control over the heat, or lack thereof. his house. his rules. his heat. or in this case, his no heat. i'm not sure what's it's gonna take to get him to bend, but please let it be soon. my body wasn't built for this kind of activity. and to think, it just started getting cold the last few days. oh Lord, send me an angel. or at least a few hand warmers and a cup of hot chocolate. it's during this time of year where i could afford to be a little chubby. you know, pack a few pounds on. i've never been able to do that, no matter how much i eat. metabolism is my krypton. not that i'm Superman or anything. i'm just saying i'd like to be fat for one winter. nothing more.

on tommorrow's docket... a review of the Hives show.

we are the champions.

2004-11-28T17:09:00.000-06:00

well, Ole Miss became the 2004 Toilet Bowl Champions yesterday in Oxford. congratulations on a season well done, guys. can't say i've ever been this proud of a team that went 4 and 7. you really showed up on some of those Saturdays. i better stop, i'm getting a little choked up just thinking about the greatness that was the 2004 Ole Miss football team. what sucks mores is that the game signifies the end of the college football season. September, October and November happen to be my favorite months out of the year. college football happens to be my favorite sport, and something i look forward to with all my being each year. coincidence? i think not. anyway, the Rebs went out with a bang and should build this offseason for a better campaign next fall. the pieces are there for great things, the only question remains about the leadership. changes have to be made. hopefully these changes will begin sooner rather than later. Cutcliffe, don't let the door hit you on your way out. it's been real. it's been fun. it's been real frustrating... every week. we'll be WARRIORS without you next fall. no question about it.

tonight we are going to see your favourite new band, the Hives, play in your favourite Memphis venue, the New Daisy. it's safe to assume this will be the best show of the year, if not the last few years. tonight's show will also more than likely be my last at the New Daisy. memories... good and bad. but mostly good. here's to going out with a bang. all tonight's activities will be duly noted.

speaking of....

do you find yourself with an overweight relative that is hard to shop for this holiday season? i know, i know, we all have them. but i've figured out the perfect gift... an album by Sweden's finest, the Hives. Aunt Lurleen will drop 4 dress sizes in a mere 3 weeks while sweating away to such hits as 'Outsmarted' and 'Abra Cadaver'. get out and buy one of these great albums today. only 4 weeks of shopping days left, folks.

how i spent the night before thanksgiving...

2004-11-25T01:28:00.000-06:00

...catching up with Jesse and Celine. for those who are wondering, they seem to be doing well. some things have changed over the course of the last nine years, and yet some things (the most important) never change. so it goes.

today, i rec'd an old CD in the mail, and got the desire to purchase a new CD.

the holidays are fast approaching, and my family has always been the one to make lists for each other. it's become an expected thing that each year we will all jot down what we want and give it to the others. this act pretty much relinquishes the element of surprise associated with gift giving, but that's never seemed to matter before. talking to some friends, apparently this is a trend shared by many other families. i have yet to sit down and make my list, but a couple of items came to mind this week... some dvds and a coffee maker. more to come.

i hope everyone has a happy Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade Day tommorrow. and maybe just maybe you're favorite pop star will make an appearance. being a huge fan of Gary Coleman, i'm usually left a little disappointed each year. again, so it goes.